In an effort to make Courtney Cox’s ABC sitcom less Cougar-y and more Friend(s)-ly, ABC is currently conducting market research about possible name changes for Cougar Town’s upcoming second season.

E! Online reports that these are the network’s current contenders:

  • Friends and Family
  • Friends and Neighbors
  • The Cul de Sac
  • Neighborhood Jules
  • Neighborhooding
  • The End of the Street
  • The Neighborhood

While I’m totally on board with the producers’ and network’s revelation that Cougar Town is a tacky, terribly pigeon-holey name for the show (if only in its insistence on hitching its wagon to a trashy mom-sex fad, it’s essentially the real-life version of MILF Island) these names are still really, really bad.

Neighborhooding? As Monica Gellar herself would say, “THAT’S NOT EVEN A WORD!” And what would it even mean if it was?

Which of these options is the best worst option? I will now pretend that ABC invited me to their market research meeting. Here’s my feedback:

Friends and Family: Too Friends-spin-offy, and too “traditional values” for the show’s more modern sensibility. It sounds like the opening salutation of a wedding speech.

Friends and Neighbors: Decent, but still nothing special. Where the old title was a little too evocative of a premise, this just feels vague and unappealingly general.

The Cul de Sac: My memory of the show’s first title will never really go away, so now all I can think about are combinations of the words “Cougar” and “Sac.” I doubt you want that, ABC.

Neighborhood Jules: Now I’m thinking about “Cougar,” “Sac” and “Jules.” You’ve got a dirty mind, ABC. Stop grossing me out. This is prime time!

Neighborhooding: Again … no. This is just offensively stupid. Who is coming up with these choices, Ali G?

The End of the Street: Are you purposefully trying for the end of the series? Stop wasting my time. And give me another free doughnut!

The Neighborhood: For a show about skinny women who probably never consume carbs, these options are a little WHITE BREAD, don’t you think? (Wait for inevitable applause for that awesome zing.) And with that, I’m out of here, fools!

What do you think? Do any of these new Cougar Town names appeal to you? Any ideas for a new name, or do you think the show should just stick with the original?

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.