Bones fans the world round only want two things this spring. First, to receive the news that contract negotiations for season 11 have resulted in another 24 episodes of their favorite crimedy. Second, they want the next 30 days to hurry up so they can get on with the second half of season 10. Social media channels which are usually humming with FOX Bones teasers, images, gifs, videos, and Tumblr tributes have been nearly silent. It’s a desert out there, Boneheads, and we intend to do something about it. Hence, the cryptic riddles for your pondering pleasure.

The wait is over. Here are seven teasers to the spring premiere, “The Psychic in the Soup” which debuts on Thursday, March 26.

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“The Psychic in the Soup” Comes In Like a Lamb

Bones’ first half of the season came in and went out like a lion. From Sweets’ devastatingly shocking and heroic demise to the cinematographically gorgeous and masterfully executed 200th episode tribute to the glamour and romance of 1950s Hollywood the action and adventure barely stopped to take a breath. How do you follow that up? Suffice it to say that the spring premiere ushers in the spring like a lamb. Let’s face it, anything would pale in comparison to the 200th, so why even try to fight it? We already know there’s a Booth baby in the works, Booth himself will grapple with his gambling addiction, and somewhere in there the family may have to face the news of Pop’s death.

We here at BuddyTV have no idea when all of those events will come to light, but what we do know we are willing to share with you in these cryptic teases.

#1 Booth Receives Two Messages from the Past

The episode opens and closes with Booth receiving messages from his past. One of these messages is brief yet impactful and sets the tone for the remainder of the episode. The second message is anything but brief and is designed to hit you right in the heart. Bones is known for sending love letters to the loyal fans hidden inside the content of an episode. One of these messages to Booth is more than a simple love letter; it’s a hug and a kiss and a long slow dance to the beat of three hearts. Prepare to be amazed.

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#2 Brennan Commits Two Felonies

The protocol-obsessed, rule-following, tower of logic that is Temperance Brennan violates the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act (FCPA), implicating Booth in the process, and risks five to 40 years in prison in doing so. And that’s just one of the felonies. Per usual, Cam has to decide what to do about it and it gets really complicated. 

#3 I Am the First Suspect

Well, not really, but I could have been. I’ve been watching crime procedurals for two decades and have always wondered how I would react if I came across a gelatinous vat of putrified human yuckiness. It’s hard to put into words what that experience would be like, but I can say with a great deal of certainty that the hapless individual who makes the find in this episode reacts exactly how I’ve always imaged I would. Just wait. Maybe the first suspect could have been you.

#4 Literary References Abound to Advance the Plot

I counted four significant references which served to advance the plot in “The Psychic in the Soup.” I’ll give you some hints. Two are from the single most widely distributed collection of literature in the world. One is from Shakespeare. The final one is a reference to the most important slasher film since Night of the Living Dead. Chew on that for a while.

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#5 Someone Out-Squints the King of the Lab

Someone references physics, medicine and astronomy to out-squint Hodgins. Here’s a hint: when it happens it’s totally disgusting — disgustingly cute, that is. 

#6 Fuentes is Put to the Ultimate Test

Dr. Fuentes, the squint on deck in the Bones spring premiere, works copious hours to prove to Brennan that he is at least as smart as a three-year-old. What does he have to do to prove it? Take a guess.

#7 Aubrey Learns to True Meaning of the Father’s Love

The most generous, graceful and open-minded proclamation comes from the least likely source as he’s being interrogated by Aubrey. It’s as if the Bones fairies are speaking directly to each one of us. I just wish Brennan had been in that scene to hear it; it had the potential to make Booth’s home life run a lot more smoothly.

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Bonus Teaser: An Addition to the Booth Family is Introduced

Yes, an addition to the Booth family is a topic of great discussion in “The Psychic in the Soup.” Brennan is rather matter-of-fact about it. Booth is concerned. Christine thinks it’s the most wonderful thing since sliced cake and she couldn’t look cuter doing it. Don’t kill me when you figure this out, folks. I’m just the messenger. 

There you have it. Add your own comments below and be on the lookout for several Bones features we’ll be posting between now and March 26. Until then, keep Lovin’ Bones!

Bones returns on Thursday, March 26th at 8pm on FOX. 

(Images courtesy of FOX)

Catherine Cabanela

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV