The Saboteur is on the loose, Hayden is the HoH and Big Brother 12 is underway. In this episode we get the first showmance, the first alliance and the first nomination ceremony. There’s also caramel, bare butts, sabotage and plenty of Meow Meow.
Nerds in Love
The first showmance of Big Brother 12 started early when Brendon revealed to Rachel that he’s a physicist. She’s a chemist, so their foreplay consisted of discussion about x-rays, magnesium and grad school experiments. He’s a hot swim coach and she’s a big-breasted Vegas cocktail waitress, so it’s a bit like a porno about scientists or that one James Bond film where Denise Richards plays a nuclear physicist.
The first alliance of the season is one of the more annoying ones because they’re so self-aware. Enzo, who’s seen The Godfather one too many times, decides to organize his own personal mafia. He enlists the HoH, Hayden, the brains (Matt) and the muscle (Lane). Thus, the Brigade is formed, and Matt claims it’s the strongest alliance in Big Brother history. I smell another Four Horsemen from season 5, when half of them get eliminated early and the other two make the finale. Hayden is Scott, Enzo is Jase, Lane is Cowboy and Matt is season 5 winner Drew.
They also get nicknames, courtesy of Enzo.
Lane = Beast
Hayden = Animal
Matt = Brains
Enzo= Meow Meow
I can’t even begin to explain Enzo’s obsession with his kitty moniker, but it’s his thing. Nobody tell him that the name of my stuffed cat when I was 7 was Meow Meow.
Highlights from the Have-Have Not Competition
-H ost Hayden dresses in a skintight Tooth Fairy costume.
– Crawling through thick caramel, Brendon loses his pants and doesn’t care, exposing his butt to everyone for most of his run.
– Kathy gets stuck in the caramel for about three hours, immobile and earning the wrath of Matt, who mocks whatever podunk town that has her as a sheriff. Insult is added to injury when Britney accidentally kicks Kathy in the head.
– The losing team who will be forced to eat slop, take cold showers, and sleep in a room with maggots features Kathy, Ragan, Rachel and Matt.
Everyone assumes Andrew is the Saboteur, but since he’s safe this week, they can’t do anything about it. Whoever the Saboteur is, he tries to target Kathy and Britney by putting Xes on their faces, but no one really cares. If this is the kind of sabotage we can expect, this is a very lame twist.
Brendon and Rachel are no9minated because Brendon is a big threat and Rachel is his showmance. It makes perfect sense.
See Who Won the PoV and Find Out If It Was Used>>
(Image courtesy of CBS)