We’re in the home stretch on Big Brother 12, and with three members of the Brigade remaining, it’s a battle of dimwits.
There’s Lane, the simple Texan whose goal all season has been to avoid getting any blood on his hands.
There’s Enzo, the loud-mouthed New Jersey native who has lost more competitions than anyone this season (18 before this episode, not counting luxury or Have-Not competitions).
And there’s Hayden, the Animal who has won more competitions than the other two combined and who is clearly the only one actually playing the game.
Luckily, we get to spend more time with the jury house, which is a million times more interesting than anything that happens inside the Big Brother 12 house.
The Final HoH, Part 1
The HGs continue to swing back and forth. Enzo falls after about 19 minutes because he’s utterly useless. Lane, to his credit, lasts two hours and 35 minutes before finally falling.
Hayden wins part 1 of the final HoH.
However, the real winner is us, because we get to hear Lane’s comedic brilliance, like this quote about coping with the pain of the competition:
“We’re men, we’re not girls. We don’t have ponies, we don’t have dolls. Deal with it, block it out, stay on the rope!”
As much as I don’t like the Brigade, I now kind of want Lane to win America’s Favorite, in case he doesn’t make the finale. His zingers rival those of the Zingbot 3000.
We spend some time with Enzo’s family in New Jersey, and his wife Joella is smoking hot and super nice. How on Earth did he get someone like her? His daughter is also adorable as five buttons and his mother looks exactly like Lorraine Bracco from The Sopranos.
The Jury House
Ragan shows up and Rachel is disgustingly happy about it. Matt seems genuinely pained to have to tell him about his wife being fine and Ragan is shocked. It’s a testament to Matt’s actual friendship with Ragan that he takes him aside and immediately agrees to give Ragan space, something he refused to do for the others.
However, Rachel doesn’t like that the cameras in the jury house aren’t on her, so she finds Ragan and tries to taunt him into another fight. Ragan is above it and doesn’t engage, so Rachel freaks out and storms off. Brendon seems like he finally gets that his “girlfriend” is psychotic and just kind of sighs before going after her.
Please, Big Brother 12, can Sunday’s episode be all about the jury house? This is so much more interesting than the watching Brigade.
The Final HoH, Part 2
It’s finally time for the morphing faces competition. One by one, Lane and Enzo get two minutes to identify five photos where two HGs have been Frankensteined together.
Lane correctly gets all five photos in 1:13.
Enzo correctly gets all five photos in 1:43.
Lane wins part 2 of the final HoH.
And this means Enzo has one win and 20 losses in HoH and PoV competitions. That has to be the worst stat in the history of Big Brother.
Now, however, the three remaining HGs must wait six days with nothing to do until the final part of the last HoH competition on Wednesday’s live finale.
Who will win, Hayden or Lane? And more importantly, who would each take to the end? If you ask me, Hayden would still be smart to take Lane and Lane would be smart to take Enzo.
(Image courtesy of CBS)