Welcome to Tulum, Mexico, where rejected cast members of The Bachelor and Bachelorette have arrived to find fleeting reality TV lasting love!

Join these 13 singles in their quest for a soulmate on the first ever Bachelor in Paradise!

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Meet the Singles

Clare Crawley is the first to arrive. Since we last saw her, Clare has been “focusing on getting back to being Clare.” She is ready to find love!

Marcus Grodd steps onto the beach next. He is still mourning the loss of his relationship with Andi, so he’s ripe for a rebound romance.

The new and improved Sarah Heron shows up after Marcus. This Sarah is unapologetic about having one arm. Deal with it, fellas!

And it’s Marquel Martin! The Cookie Monster’s outfit is totally paradise and totally scoring points with Clare.

Daniella McBride (ugh) is the next single on the beach. Girlfriend still hasn’t found a good hair colorist to cover her roots. What is the issue?!

“I think I’m just fun, outgoing, I say weird things, I sometimes make jokes … people laugh, sometimes they don’t. I mean, I am who I am!” says Daniella.

Old man Graham Bunn heads up next and Daniella is totes “vibing” on him, as she puts it.

Lacy Faddoul walks down the beach from afar and the guys can’t get enough. Am I missing something? She’s not that hot. Oh, wait. She has enormous boobs and they are falling out of her dress. Now I get it.

Villain alert! Ben Scott is here, just as Clare tells Sarah that she doesn’t want any “douchey guys” on the island. Too late! The gang is pretty rude to Ben as he walks in, but Lacy is a gem and gets him a drink.

Michelle Kujawa shows up next. According to Daniella, Michelle has a bad reputation and is “kind of strange.”

Robert Graham comes next. The ladies are into him. I am not.

Okay, now we’re talking. It’s Dylan Pettit, another guy fresh off some sweet Andi Dorfman heartbreak! Marquel runs down to hug Dylan, so the rest of the gang figures he must be okay.

Elise Mosca barely makes it down the cobblestone stairs in her heels, but nonetheless is so grateful to be a part of this “magical” and “enchanting” experience. Ha!

The last to arrive is AshLee Frazier, who is specifically here to meet Graham, I’m guessing because he is the only male who is older than her.

Getting Acquainted

Chris Harrison gathers the cast. He jokingly asks them if they are all single, to which Michelle answers, “Maybe!” She is trying to be funny, but refuses to clarify if she actually is single. All she says is, “It’s paradise!”

Date cards will arrive frequently, and whoever gets a card will choose a date partner. There will be a rose ceremony at the end of each week and the odd person out gets sent home. With six guys and seven ladies this week, it will be a lady who goes home first.

Everyone loves their digs, and AshLee loves Graham (in case you didn’t know). She is here for Graham, crushing on Graham and will die if Graham doesn’t date her.

Ready, Set, Mingle!

Lacy comes on strong, to put it kindly. She strips down to her bikini and practically drags Robert into the ocean. They don’t quite make-out, but Lacy has her legs wrapped around Robert. The ladies aren’t having it and it’s clear that Lacy is going to be Ladies’ Public Enemy #1.

At night, Marcus dejectedly wanders into the ocean in his briefs, because he apparently forgot to pack a bathing suit. I’m not complaining, and neither is Lacy, who again tromps out into the water to put her scent all over Guy #2.

As he watches Lacy in the water with Marcus, Robert comments, “He’s stealing my girl.” To remedy the situation, Robert seeks out Lacy after her ocean dip to tell her that he’s only interested in her.

Next, Elise and Dylan make their way into the ocean with some drinks as Clare and Marcus watch and commentate.

On the second day, AshLee basically tells Graham she wants to have his babies. He seems into it at first, but then gets that look on his face of Wait, what? Listen to your gut, Graham. She’s crazy!

“AshLee — when she thinks she wants someone and likes someone, she thinks that they’re getting married tomorrow if he semi thinks she’s cool,” says Daniella.

The first date card arrives and it’s for Clare. She picks Graham to go to the ruins with her.

Uh oh. AshLee goes postal, mumbling to herself in the bathroom about how Graham can’t even stay loyal to her for 24 hours and she’s the only normal person here and Clare’s not even pretty and wah wah wah.

“Does this make me want to pursue Graham more?” asks Daniella. “Not really. I don’t want to get murdered in my sleep.” Zing!

The rest of girls concur. Everyone is now scared to like Graham. Way to stake your claim, AshLee. You work fast.

Clare catches wind of the fact that AshLee is bawling her eyes out about the “betrayal” from Graham. She doesn’t want to cause any drama, so she tells AshLee that she will take a different guy: Robert. This pleases AshLee, but she is still pissed at Graham and refuses to talk to him.

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1-on-1 Date: Clare and Robert

They head to some ruins with a vista. “I don’t even know what a vista is, but we walked out on a vista!” says Clare excitedly.

Clare is desperate to take a picture of herself on top of the ruins because she had a dream about it. Were the fire ants that attack them in the dream?

On the scale of Bachelor dates, this is on the low end, but Clare and Robert seem to enjoy it.

After the climb, they head to the beach to roll in the sand and frolic in the ocean. No kissing, though.

Back at the Ranch

Lacy decides that since Robert is off with Clare, she will focus her efforts on Marcus.

Until … Sarah gets the second date card and she chooses Marcus. Now Lacy is bummed, but she acts like a mature adult and looks around for a third choice. Marquel, perhaps?

1-on-1 Date: Sarah and Marcus

The evening date takes them into an underground oasis that is actually pretty scary. They jump into the water together and Sarah says it’s “so romantic.”

She awkwardly asks Marcus for a smooch before they jump in again and he agrees, but there aren’t really fireworks.

“Timid, shy Sarah Heron went and asked the hottest boy at the dance to dance,” she says.

Robert and Clare return from their date. A teary Lacy tells Robert that she’s upset because both the guys that she’s interested in went on dates without her.

They go for a walk to make poor little Lacy feel better. Robert tells her that he didn’t kiss Clare. Hooray! Lacy is momentarily happy again.

A Stranger Arrives

Into the house walks Michelle Money, bearing a cropped top and a date card. She admits that it’s kind of awkward because she doesn’t know what’s going on, but she “needs to talk” to Graham first before making a decision of who to take on her date. This all occurs within 30 seconds of her arrival, mind you.

The guys are thrilled to have another bold, beautiful lady in the house, and (of course) the ladies are seething with jealousy, as well as angry that now two of them will be going home.

And AshLee? How is she going to take this little Michelle/Graham date? Not well, I’m guessing. The room is abuzz with speculation over what Michelle and Graham’s current relationship status is.

Unfortunately, even Michelle and Graham don’t have a clue. What they do have is a secret handshake. I’m thinking they will just be friends for this go-around.

The next morning, Michelle M. is still deciding who she will pick for her date.

AshLee runs out to meet Graham on the beach for some quick damage control to ensure that he doesn’t say yes to another date today. Graham accepts her apology, but admits that a red flag has gone up in his mind.

Michelle M. finally selects Marquel as her date. He says yes. I’m liking this pairing.

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1-on-1 Date: Michelle M. and Marquel

The duo heads out for some horseback riding on the beach. “Now, if that’s not the ideal date in paradise, I don’t know what to tell you,” says Marquel.

Michelle had been feeling self-conscious about her age, being a single mom and her stretch marks. Marquel seems to melt all her worries away. I wonder if he brought cookies in his backpack.

Back at the house, Lacy receives a date card and can’t decide if she should choose Robert or Marcus. She chooses Robert because she’s not sure if Marcus likes Sarah now.

1-on-1 Date: Lacy and Robert

Lacy and her high hairdo take Robert for a candlelit dinner. Okay, I’ll just say it: these “dates” are lame as hell. What was the budget for this show? Non-existent?

Robert tells Lacy that the next girl he seriously dates is going to be the girl he marries. Meanwhile, Dylan tries to advise a lovesick Marcus to play hard-to-get where Lacy is concerned.

Speaking of Lacy, she is busy in the ocean gettin’ busy. With Robert. Damn, girl!

Cocktail Party

All of a sudden, it’s time for the rose ceremony. Is this the same night as the Lacy/Robert hookup that just happened? I guess not because they both have dry hair and fresh clothes.

Chris Harrison arrives and asks if they feel if love is possible here. They all eagerly nod yes. Oh, just wait!

Chris explains again that one two ladies will be leaving. So thanks for that, Michelle Money.

AshLee feels 100% confident that she will be receiving Graham’s rose.

Not feeling confident? Daniella, Clare, Sarah and Michelle K.

Sarah tells Marcus that he doesn’t have to give her a rose just because she took him on a date. Except Marcus says that he probably will give her a rose because she deserves to be here. Even though he really wants to give his rose to Lacy, to signify that he has a romantic interest in her.

Gee, I wonder who the producers will decide gives out his rose first — Marcus or Robert?

Rose Ceremony

Right before Marquel is about to give out the first rose, Michelle K. steps in to say that she is going to leave on her own accord since she hasn’t made a connection with anyone. Also, she’s crazy.

Marquel gives his rose to Michelle M. (now the only Michelle left). She accepts.

Graham gives his rose to AshLee, as a thunderclap of doom sounds. Literally. She accepts.

Dylan gives his rose to Elise. She accepts.

Marcus gives his rose to Lacy. She accepts, happy to be in the middle of two guys fighting over her.

A shocked Robert gives his rose to Clare. She accepts.

Daniella and Sarah remain.

Ben gives the final rose to Sarah. Aww man! No more of Daniella’s one-liners? Pack your bags and exit the island, girl.

Scenes from next week look pretty spicy, with the revelation of a mysterious Michelle K. hookup involving a guy jumping off a balcony and breaking his legs. What?!

Bachelor in Paradise airs Monday nights at 8pm on ABC.

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Lindsay Podolak

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV