Were you surprised to see Dylan get booted last night on Bachelor in Paradise?
I was at first, but looking back it’s obvious that he made several wrong moves, each of which contributed to his exiting after only the second week of “competition.”
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So for the next round of lucky singles who go on any type of reality dating show, study up! Here’s a guide to what you don’t want to do if you want to stay in the game!
Let’s look at where Dylan went wrong…
Coupling Up with a Crazy Person
Okay, I get it. You’re in paradise, there’s lots of beautiful chicks there, and the alcohol is flowing. But did Dylan really have to pick Elise on Day 1?
There were warning signs all over the place. Elise got very intimate, very fast. She had to hold herself back from saying “I love you” to Dylan on the third day, for goodness sakes!
Other warning signs: She’s into astrology. She’s a clinger. She has crazy eyes.
Maybe she’s not psycho possessive crazy like AshLee is with Graham, but she is certainly delusional, as we saw after the numerous times Dylan tried to end things with her.
Getting Too Close, Too Soon
Even if Elise wasn’t crazy (which she most definitely is), you can’t put all your eggs in one basket on the first night. Even the first week. New singles arrive all the time. Was Dylan really sure that no one better would come along?
I think he thought that Elise was harmless at first, but as is usually the case, the girl fell harder than the guy.
Dylan tried to gently disentangle himself from Elise, but it was too late. Elise had already planned their wedding, named their children, and practiced signing her new married name in her diary 8,439 times.
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Once Dylan realized that Elise was not going to just move on to other guys, Dylan tried to do the right thing.
He told her honestly that they were just friends and that he couldn’t get over her running off and having a steamy makeout session with Chris. Even though that’s basically what he encouraged her to do.
Nonetheless, if he really wanted to stay around in paradise, he should have appeased Elise just for the time being. Let her think that maybe there’s a chance. Then, once he’s safely there for another week, he can make further moves to distance himself. Kiss Sarah in front of her. Flirt with Michelle in the pool.
And finally, he could (duh) say yes to her rose offering. When Elise offered Dylan the rose, he refused to accept because he didn’t want her to think that he liked her. Just lie like everyone else! At least then he’d still be there.
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Moving On … with Sarah
Of all the people to choose to date after Elise, Dylan chose her best friend Sarah.
Sarah is honest and kind, so obviously she is going to have a conflict with dating Dylan. But once she gets approval to go on the date with him, Sarah seems to develop feelings for Dylan.
Still, it wasn’t enough to give him a rose. Sarah knew that giving a rose to Dylan would ensure the wrath of Elise and an uncomfortably awkward remainder of her stay in paradise. So she gave her rose to Robert, sending Dylan home.
I wonder if Dylan has any regrets about how he handled the whole Elise situation. I’m going to guess that no, he doesn’t.
Sure he had to leave paradise, but he also got to leave the clutches of Elise. As I’m sure any guy who has had a crazy ex-girlfriend will tell you, that is a priceless gift!
Bachelor in Paradise airs Monday nights at 8pm on ABC.
(Image courtesy of ABC.)
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV