And then there were nine. Previously in America’s Next Top Model’s 22nd cycle major strides were made by some models, especially Nyle, who found himself winning a challenge, landing first photo, and then landing in the top three once again. In “The Girl Who Got All Dolled Up” more strides are taken on a personal level by some in the house. Not so much for others. The guy who acted like a fool in the episode by the same title sinks further in the rankings, barely escaping elimination, and further disappoints with his callous disregard for one fellow model. 

In one of the cutest photo shoots we’ve seen all cycle, models Hadassah, Devin, Nyle, Justin, Mame, Courtney, Mikey, Lacey and Bello dress up as life-size Barbie Dolls. It’s a fun shoot, but Tyra has a super stinky surprise later that shocks everyone, but surprises no one when the final results are in: Not one but two models are sent home at the same time. Ouch!

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Lacey the Virgin and Mikey 2.0

Lacey won first call out on episode 7 and gets to move into the Tyra suite. “The Girl Who Got All Dolled Up” opens with Lacey watching her Tyra Tip video. Tyra mentions Lacey’s virginity, and shows her the difference between slutty and sultry. Lacey is thoroughly embarrassed. Now, why in the dickens would anyone share that information with a competition judge? It’s like admitting it to an employer. I don’t quite get it … unless ANTM is going to make a big deal about Lacey getting her cherry popped right there on the show. Man, I hope not. She’s not close with anyone and is obviously not the kind of girl to just give it up after a couple weeks in such an odd environment.

Bello, Mikey, Hadassah and Courtney chat to their video journals. Courtney tries to brighten up Mikey and Devon’s moods since they are missing their eliminated bestie, Ashley. More interestingly (and impressively), Mikey talks with Hadassah and Bello about his own behavior in the competition up to this point. He says he sees himself changing and suspects that his previous drama with Bello and Hadassah had more to do with himself than with the others. 

Mikey also declares that he’s watched Hadassah and Bello both grow as well. He says he’s a new man and plans to handle things much more maturely going forward. Then he introduces himself to the other two models and shakes their hands. It’s a pretty cool moment. I truly hope that he isn’t doing this as a manipulative gesture, but I don’t think he is. To ring in the new regime, Bello teases Mikey by saying, “I can’t stand him!” They all laugh and it seems pretty genuine. Sometimes it humor that cements or confirms safety between people. This bodes well for the whole group.

The Models Go Back to School

Runway coach J. Alexander meets the remaining nine models in a tent full of clothes and accessories the following morning. With him is Stylist Robert Behar who will assist in ‘zhushing’ each model, which I think means accessorizing. Add that to your Tyra Banks Dictionary of Modeling, folks.  

The models get dressed up and are brought to a classroom full of what looks like middle school students. A Tyra video gives them their challenge to create a six-minute Vine that will convey the concepts of power, money and respect to the students. There to assist is Brittany Furlan who is famous for her Vines. 

Challenge: Six Seconds For Power, Money and Respect

Tyra explains the persistent disparity between male and female salaries. The models will be making a six second public service announcement via Vine about the STEM program. STEM stands for Science, Technology, Engineering and Math. The goal of STEM is to inspire young women to pursue fields of study that command higher salaries. Higher salaries and greater knowledge will bring these young women more money, power and respect, says Tyra. The Vine PSAs will be graded by the young girls in the classroom.

Straws are drawn for teams. Mikey, Mame, and Hadassah must make a Vine about respect. Bello, Courtney and Devin must convey power. That leaves Lacey, Justin and Nyle to cover money. 

Bello and Devin freak out to have to work with Courtney again. Lacey, Justin and Nyle plan to make a voiceless Vine and it ends up completely ROCKING. Bello, Courtney and Devin’s is a hot mess. Mikey, Mame and Hadassah’s is okay. The clear winner is the team of Nyle, Lacey and Justin … but the young girls prefer the respect Vine made by Mikey, Mame and Hadassah. What? Is it because Mikey is cute? That doesn’t make sense to me at all. Oh well, it’s been XX years since I was a preteen girl in math class. (The ‘XX’ means I’m not gonna say, but it’s a couple decades)

Happy Birthday, Devin, You Ass Hole

Back at the house Bello is pissed at his challenge score and Devin reminds us all that he knows he talented and that’s why he is signed to so many modeling agencies. Then why aren’t those agencies sending you out on jobs, huh? What’s gotten him so far is what he was given by God. He cannot take credit for that. What he himself has added to the package is what’s keeping him down: A ridiculous personality.

The group celebrates Devin’s birthday. Nyle is still frustrated by the fact that few of the others are making much of an effort to include him. He’s made several efforts, but it just isn’t reciprocated. Can anyone even imagine how isolating that is for him? Then, Devin takes Nyle’s speaking phone from him and starts taking crazy photos of himself and the others. He might as well have put a black bag over Nyle’s head, because he just took away Nyle’s last form of communication. To top it off, Devin doesn’t even talk to Nyle during the who fiasco.

Nyle is understandably pissed and leaves the room. Boom. Way to show the ass hole what you think of his behavior, Nyle. I’m with you. I can’t believe Devin even did that. 

Tyra is Such a Doll

The next morning the nine meet Tyra at a photo shoot where the super model is dressed up and standing in a life-size Barbie Doll box. Tyra gives some tips about how to model as a doll, focusing on isolating all of their parts as they strike poses. (It’s interesting how she said “isolation,” isn’t it? Will Nyle’s isolation inspire a little chat with the group by Tyra? I hope so.)

The fun begins as each model is given the name of their dolls and sent into hair and make-up.

Dress Me Up Like a Doll

Each model steps into a life-size Barbie Doll box already decorated with all the toy accessories that fit with the doll’s theme. You have to admit, it’s pretty stinking cute, and this is a fun photo shoot. 

Nyle is suited up in swimming trunks and oil as Boom Boom Bon Voyage Doll and his shoot goes really well. He’s committed to beating out Devin whom he says is resting on his laurels and not growing in his craft. Nyle loves being deaf; it’s a special thing about himself. Wow. 

Hadassah is wonderful as Flawsome Free Spirit Doll and Yu Tsai is thrilled to finally get the beauty within her on film. Courtney, who doesn’t even know what “fashionista” means, is a lifeless hot mess as Fierce Fashionista Doll. It comes out that Courtney has never seen American or Italian Vogue. Say what? (Insert neck-breaking eye roll) Seriously, girl? It looks like Yu may have finally gotten a good shot of her, but I hope not. It’s time for baby girl to pack up and go home. I ain’t wrong. 

Lacey totally kicks it as Tyra Taught Me Tooch Doll, and Mame pretty much kicks it as Werk the Hallway Like a Runway Doll. Mikey is an uninspiring Savage Smize Doll, and Justin requires pose assistance as Booch ‘N Baller Doll. Devin struggles as H2T-Eed Up Doll because he’s supposed to look like a regular guy. He can’t do it, and Yu tosses off a sarcastic, “I hope you’re here next week,” as Devin leaves his doll box. Bello is next as Ugly Pretty Punk Doll and growls during his shoot which Yu doesn’t seem happy with. 

Tyra Delivers a Nasty Pile Of Poo: A Double Elimination 

At the beginning of the judges panel Tyra makes a really stinky announcement: Two models will be eliminated before panel is finished. Holy plastic ponytails, Batman, this is a double elimination?! Gah!

Nyle is up first and he’s foine, with a capital “F.”  Miss J. takes a sip of cold water when he sees the photo and insists that Nyle’s package is fine when Kelly comments on its proportions. Whoa back, Nelly, keep your pants on. Miss J. calls Nyle doll-on. Justin shows up at panel in shorts to show off his gorgeous legs. He says it’s because Yu Tsai told him to get out of his comfort zone. The judges’ reactions are priceless. Kelly finds his photo realistic. 

A Model Who Has Never Seen Vogue

Kelly says Courtney looks like a horror show in her picture. She showed up at panel in some witchy make-up Devin did for her. Tyra half-teasingly says Devin is trying to make Courtney go home. Tyra asks Courtney about her lack of familiarity with Vogue. Kelly gives Courtney disheartening comments and it seems fairly clear that this is Courtney’s well-deserved swan song. 

Tyra says it took her seconds to go through Mikey’s photos to find one she was satisfied with. This, in comparison to the 15 minutes she had to take to narrow down Nyle’s. Miss J. calls Bello the Androgyny Doll, which makes Bello happy, though I don’t think tit was supposed to be a compliment. Kelly was disappointed in Bello’s lack of punk rock as the Ugly Pretty Punk Doll.

Tyra likes Hadassah’s photo other than the blank face. Lacey’s photo is sick, but her mouth looks like she could be a blow-up doll from a sex toy shop. (My words, not the judges, but you were thinking it too, admit it.) Miss J. says it’s fierce. Tyra complements her on the face and the angles. Kelly says it’s her favorite photo of the season so far. 

Tyra says Devin gave too much connection in his gaze in his photo and not much more is said about him. Tyra says Mame isn’t being a doll in her photo. Miss J. comments on her locked knees. Not good.

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Major Disappointment: Nyle Never Received Justice

Panel is over. Results are next, but some much needed events need to come to light … but never do. Devin taking away Nyle’s phone to take selfies is never addressed. This is hugely disappointing. In the past, Tyra has been compelled to make a surprise visit to the house as a result of major conflict or inappropriate behavior among models. So, what gives? Devin’s behavior (and that of the others who were involved) was reprehensible. If Nyle had been joking around with them, involved in the frivolity, it would have been a different story. However, Nyle was further disabled by the loss of his phone. I demand this be addressed and I’m looking straight at you Tyra Banks. Perhaps she hasn’t been informed yet and will address it later. That is my hope.

Who Is Still In the Running to be America’s Next Top Model?

Two will be eliminated. Who will it be? Drum roll, please.

Top Three: Lacey, Nyle, Justin

Middle Three: Mikey, Hadassah, Mame

Bottom Three: Courtney, Bello, Devin

The scores rapidly rotate on the wall under each photo to display the final results. Courtney is the first to go. Next should be Devin for his lack of class and maturity, but unfortunately he gets to stay while Bello must go home. Bello leaves, refusing to hug anyone or say goodbye. Even Tyra notices how weird that was. #Awkward

And then there were seven. 

America’s Next Top Model airs Wednesdays at 8pm on The CW. 

(Images Courtesy of The CW)

Catherine Cabanela

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV