There’s quite a few shockers in tonight’s episode of American Horror Story: Coven, and I’m sure I’m not the only one left screaming when the next episode air date was announced.

First of all, remember Hank? Cordelia’s horrible, no good, very bad husband? Well, he’s back. And I think we’re meant to be sympathetic towards him after we’re shown a flashback from his childhood, when his father taught him to hunt witches, aka the family business (I sensed shades of Supernatural here, just me?).

But no. No, show. I do not feel bad for Hank. Not after what he pulled at the end of this episode. But more on that later.

Fiona’s Offer

So what did Fiona get up to this episode? Well, to start, she went to Marie’s salon with Madame LaLaurie’s head in a box to “talk terms.” She wants an alliance with Marie, to protect both groups from the witch hunters she’s discovered are after her coven. 

But Marie will have none of that, and to top it off, she tells Fiona she’s “weak” when she figures out she’s got cancer, and say it’s obvious that Fiona can no longer protect her coven without outside help. Fiona warns her that the hunters won’t stop with her coven, that they will be sure to go after Marie and her group next, but Marie won’t be swayed. 

Oh, and Marie tells Queenie, who is still staying there, to take LaLaurie’s head out back and burn it. You know, just to top off her badass points for this particular scene. 

Cordelia Gets a Gift

In this episode of American Horror Story: Coven, Cordelia starts out still blind due to the mysterious attack on her a few episodes back. We learn a little more during this episode about her relationship with Myrtle, who claims she has always loved Cordelia as a daughter. She asks Cordelia to hug her to see that she wasn’t the one to blind her, but Cordelia says she doesn’t need to see that to confirm what she already knows. Aww.

So what is a mother figure to do when her “daughter” is suffering from sudden blindness, and when she’s a witch to boot? Why, give her some eyes to replace the ones she’s lost, of course! And when the two other members of the Council who condemned Myrtle to the stake a few episodes ago visit the Academy, we get to see where she gets these eyes from. 

And I mean it when I say “see,” because the team behind American Horror Story: Coven decided it was a good idea to actually show their audience Myrtle gouging out Pemby’s eye with a melon baller, after paralyzing her and Quentin so they are awake for the whole ordeal. “Are you terrified?” she asks them. “You should be.” I know I was. 

So Cordelia is left with one blue eye and one brown eye, and her sight is restored. Um, yay? But in the process, her second sight is lost. So, not yay?

Fiona vs. Myrtle

Fiona and Myrtle argue a little bit about their roles in Madison’s death and Cordelia’s attack, respectively, and when Fiona asks where her daughter’s new eyes came from, skeptical of Myrtle’s abilities, we get to see that she apparently chopped up and burned or boiled the bodies of Quentin and Pemby. Because American Horror Story needed that extra “ew” factor tonight, apparently. 

But Cordelia basically tells them to shut up, and I’m guessing they’re going to join forces for the good of the coven or something in the future. I mean, I’d still be super pissed at Fiona if I were Myrtle, but whatever works for them, I guess.

Hank’s Assignment

So back to Hank. Apparently, his father is now the head of a corporation for witch hunting, masquerading as having something to do with business or finance or something. He goes to his father’s office, where he is scolded for his lack of progress in New Orleans. Acting as their man on the inside, including his marriage to Cordelia as part of his surveillance, his father and the organization expect better. 

For example, that firestarter he had an affair with and killed? His mess had to be cleaned up, as he used a traceable credit card, and two innocents working at the hotel had to be killed in the process. Pfft. Amateur. 

During this scene, we learned that it was the corporation that authorized Cordelia’s blinding, and Hank actually seems a little bit upset about this. His father notices, and reminds him of his role as a “soldier in a shadow war” against all witches in North America. He tells Hank he understands that it’s confusing to pretend to love someone you marry only to keep an eye on them as the enemy, and yeah, I can see how that would get weird.

A little while later, Marie sends someone to Hank just after he starts writhing on the floor of a room, bleeding and in agony. She’s performing voodoo on him, and the messenger hands him a phone through which Marie instructs him to kill all the witches of Fiona’s coven that night, or the next needle will be through his heart. So, no pressure or anything.

Nan’s Gift

Meanwhile, Nan is at the hospital, waiting outside of Luke’s room, when Madison and Zoe approach her. She tells them Luke’s mother won’t let her in, so they all barge in anyway. She thinks Luke being in a coma is their fault for bringing evil into her home, and when Nan starts telling her things only Luke would know, she is alarmed. We literally see Luke whispering in Nan’s ear, which is a little creepy, to be honest, no matter how cute he is.

Luke’s mother demands that they leave after Nan says something about a song Luke says she used to sing to him, but just as the girls go to leave the room, she starts to sing. Nan runs over and they hold hands, although I’m not totally sure why because it’s not like he suddenly woke up or anything.

Cordelia is a BAMF

Cordelia teaches Misty a few things about plant magic in the greenhouse in this episode, and Misty tells her she is a great leader. Cordelia reminds her that Fiona is their leader, and just then, Hank shows up. But she basically tells him to eff off, for all that he’s done and because he’s drunk as a skunk. 

We get confirmation that it was Hank in the woods the night Misty was attacked, and he is disturbed when he remembers this. He tries to reason with Cordelia a bit more, but she tells him to get his stuff and leave, as she will be filing for divorce and he no longer lives there. Go, Delia!

The Dog?! Really??

As he’s leaving, Hank runs into Fiona and her new guard dog. She explains that she got it to protect the coven, and that it’s female because they are more aggressive about protecting their own. 

So Hank leaves, and the dog leads Fiona to the door of the room Kyle is in. She doesn’t think much of him and tells him to get out as the dog sniffs him, and then we hear a sickening crunch noise. We don’t actually see it, which, thank God, but I’m pretty sure Kyle snapped the dog’s neck or something. Really, American Horror Story? You had to kill the dog?

Later, when the girls return from the hospital, Fiona is playing cards with Kyle and explains that he will be their new guards dog instead. She fixed him, kinda sorta, and will attack on command, and also he killed the old guard dog, so it all works out I guess?

Queenie’s Plan

So Queenie didn’t burn LaLaurie’s head on Marie’s orders earlier in the episode. Instead, she decides to show her eight hours of the series Roots, among other things, in order to educate her and free her from her racist ignorance. Good luck with that. 

She leaves for a bit, and when she comes back, LaLaurie tells her she had her eyes closed the whole time. So Queenie opts to play her a song about freedom from slavery, telling her that if she won’t watch, she’ll have to listen instead, and it eventually moves LaLaurie to tears. 

Luke’s Mother is Awful

Back at the hospital, Luke’s mother tells Nan she’s a miracle one second, but then after Nan tells her a few more things that Luke has revealed to her, she turns on her and says her power must be a trick after all. Why does she get so flustered?

Turns out, Ms. I’ve-Got-A-Friend-In-Jesus killed her husband after she caught him having an affair and he asked for a divorce. And she does so…with BEES. She trapped him in his car, and he was attacked by a bunch of them, which he is allergic to, so he died. P.S.- where did all those bees come from? Did she buy them? Catch them? …Conjure them, perhaps? Just a thought.

Later, when Luke wakes up, his mother is by his side. But he isn’t happy to see her, probably because of all the crazy stuff he’s learned about her in limbo, so he cries. Which is upsetting. But what’s even more upsetting is that she then proceeds to smother him with a pillow. Not Cute Luke!! We don’t see if he actually dies, but it doesn’t look good.

The Attack 

Speaking of shockers, after Queenie leaves LaLaurie to listen to some music and cry, she heads down to the salon for work. Then, as scenes from civil rights protests and marches play on the TV LaLaurie is finally watching, Hank enters the salon and attacks everyone there. 

No one is spared. He shoots Queenie before going after Marie and shooting her as well, and just as Marie holds up a bloodied hand, in surrender or to try to stop him, Queenie crawls over with a gun, despite the bullet in her stomach. She shoots the gun into her own mouth, and thanks to her power, Hank’s brains are blown out. But it looks like maybe Queenie paid the ultimate price in the process.

At the end of the episode, Marie shows up on the Academy’s doorstep, and Fiona lets her inside. But we won’t know what happens next, or the fate of some of our favorite characters, until January when the show returns. Cue screams of fan frustration!

American Horror Story airs at 10:00 PM Wednesday nights on FX.

(Image courtesy of FX)

Josie Cook

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV