Without a doubt, Chad Johnson was the definitive star of week 2 on The Bachelorette, and not for any good reasons at all. Chad has already made a name for himself as the most arrogant, cringe-worthy and just generally unbearable contestant currently on the show. Here are all of the the absolutely appalling things he managed to pull off in just week 2 on the show.
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1. His Comparison Between Competition and a Protein Shake
This little analogy that Chad gives about the competition pretty much sums up the perfect combination of “WTF” and disgust that Chad is proving to be. When describing the competition and the standings of the other guys as he sees it, Chad says, “If you were making a protein shake made of the group of dudes here, and then, you know, blended it up, half of that dude protein shake would be, like, have zero chance.”
What. Does that. Even. Mean. Not only does that make ZERO sense, it was a feeble attempt for him to throw the word protein (clearly the only thing ever stuck on his mind) into a sentence, and for what purpose? Dude. Shut up about protein. JoJo doesn’t care, and we at home most definitely don’t.
2. Being a JoJo Hog
Admittedly, a lot of contestants do this on every season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Trying to steal away as much of the time and attention with the bachelorette from everyone else so she can focus on you is a pretty common strategy. If she only sees you, you’re always on her mind. But somehow, when Chad does it, it just seems that much more douchey. At least in Alex’s eyes.
Alex calls Chad out, rightfully so, for creeping behind and following along everytime JoJo is having one-on-one time with one of the other guys. Alex has had enough of this and of Chad in general, so he tells him, “[JoJo]’s probably getting creeped out. It’s getting weird that you just are hanging around, lurking around the corner.” Of course, Chad doesn’t like hearing this, and the argument escalates quickly. Chad threatens Alex and tells him that if he keeps up the insults, he’s going to lose some teeth. Frankly, Alex is completely in the right to call him out on this. It’s one thing to keep JoJo away from the other guys, but creeping behind them like that is just weird, sneaky and a little absurd.
3. Eating Throughout the Rose Ceremony
Again “bro,” we already got the point. You’re a meathead. You like working out, eating steak and drinking protein shakes. There’s a time and a place for all of that, and a rose ceremony where the potential love of your life is deciding whether you’re worth keeping around or not is definitely not one of them. The creepy little face he made at her while slurping a piece of meat through his face legitimately made me gag out loud.
4. Lifting Weights with a Suitcase Full of Protein
More on the point of the general douchery, we all got to play witness to Chad’s sick workout routine. Chad strapped on his suitcase, which he filled with his protein and creatine supplements to add weight and make it more challenging, and began to do pull-ups from the side of the house. Hey, gotta make do with what you got, right?
5. Insulting the Other Guys
Chad got unnecessarily catty about the other guys and went out of his way to constantly insult them. Yes, it was a little much to see how often and how many songs these guys were writing for JoJo, but you don’t need to get after them about it, Chad. If that’s there strategy, leave it alone. It’s unnecessary to accuse them of being disingenuous, especially when you look at the person who’s saying that. This wasn’t an isolated incident, either. Chad referred to the group of guys who went on the first group date as “the B-Team,” after seeing that he wasn’t picked for that. He has a real habit of insulting others to try and make himself look (or probably feel) better.
6. His Proposal
When Chad finally does get to go on a group date, he’s not a fan of the event. The guys go to do sort of fun, staged marriage proposals to JoJo, but Chad seems to think giving it his all isn’t genuine or worth his time. He casts judgment on the other guys for what they say in their proposals and assumes they think they’re a lot deeper than the are. When it’s his turn, he doesn’t even seem to do the dizzy bat, but just goes straight up to JoJo and says, “will you marry me?” Well, that was straight to the point. He explains by saying that at that point of the relationship, he feels like she would already know the reasons he loves her, so there’s no point in saying them. You know, cause you don’t want to waste time hearing about how someone feels about you before getting proposed to. Also, don’t think I didn’t notice that little butt-grab you tried on JoJo when you were on one knee, Chadster.
7. Insulting JoJo
When they tell Chad that he should probably tell JoJo all of the things he loves about her before he would actually propose to her, he apologetically tells her she’s starting to get a little “naggy.” As he puts it, if he feels like he’s getting nagged, he’s going to say something. That’s a little defensive for a game of a fake proposal, bro. Just play along and stop being such a spoilsport.
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8. Explaining His Strategy to Keep Getting a Rose
Inexplicably, Chad manages to get his rose yet again. Well, not inexplicably, because a reality show like this needs a villain for us all to hate or it isn’t any fun. “I will not write her a song about how much I love her,” he said. “I’m going to have some protein shakes, keep working out, keep eating food, and just continue doing what I do.” You do you, Chad.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8pm on ABC.
(Image and videos courtesy of ABC)