On this week’s episode of Alcatraz, the team must find a former inmate who has an explosive personality, and by that I mean that he kills people with land mines. So crank up the greatest song of the last 25 years (Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas) and settle in.

Population Explosion

I would like to continue this review by saying that this episode started with a bang, but I would be lying, and you can’t lie when using terrible puns. Hauser is visiting Lucy in the hospital and is asked by the doctor whether she had a DNR. It turns out that Hauser and Lucy first met when Hauser transported a criminal named Paxton Petty to the island. They shared a mint and sexual tension, and the rest is history.

While Hauser is reminiscing, a local park is destroyed by land mines, injuring and killing people in the process. Doc and Madsen appear on the scene and discover that this is Petty’s work. Madsen is shown his picture and notices him in the crowd. She gives chase, but is attacked by a rolling land mine attack. I like this guy’s style.

Big Bang Theory

Madsen is cleared by the paramedics and runs into Tanner,an old friend of hers that works for the bomb squad. They find out that Petty is using custom made shrapnel to make the mines even more dangerous. Doc and Madsen then go to the autopsy of one of the victims where Doc meets the nerd girl of his dreams name Nikki. She shows them a piece of removed shrapnel and it turns out to be a part of a military medal.

It turns out that Petty was being water boarded, or should I say “advanced interrogated” while in Alcatraz to disclose where he kept his bombs. The torture doesn’t work so Lucy wants to try her way, which Warden James allows. Lucy is much nicer since she only drugs Petty and electrocutes him for information. It turns out Petty was in the Korean War, and he was left out from receiving a Silver Star due to the small fact that he killed innocent children with bombs.

Medal of Honor

Doc and Madsen talk to the owner of an Army Navy Surplus store about where Petty would be able to get his hands on Silver Star medals to put in his bombs. The owner tells them to check the Presidio Graveyard. They go there and find Petty’s bombs and other supplies hidden in a soldier’s tomb. They also find paint supplies that were used to disguise the mines.

Madsen calls Hauser who has found clues to where the bombs may be in song lyrics. He tells them to check out any parks that have the words Windward in them. She asks what he is doing, but in typical Hauser fashion he leaves her in the dark. If only there was a way from him to learn his lesson…

Mine Sweeper

It turns out that Windward refers to an elementary school in the area. Madsen asks Tanner to have him team sweep the area but they find nothing. Hauser goes to another lyric location called Sunset Beach. There he finds Petty planting bombs in the sand. Well it looks like the arrest will be made and the episode will end. Wait a second, there’s 20 minutes left. Knowing that he needs to fill airspace and add some tension, Hauser decides to step on a land mine. If he moves he dies, so Petty takes his gun and phone and leaves him on the beach.

Doc and Madsen are staking out the playground when Petty arrives. Madsen apprehends him and tries callign Hauser, only to find that Petty has his phone. They trow him in a jail cell while they try to find out what is going on. Madsen learns about the lyrics clues and figures out that Hauser is at Sunset Beach. They take Petty and head that way.


Madsen arrives on teh beach and calls the bomb squad to help out. Tanner is trying to disable the bomb, but finds out that Petty custom rigged it just to create more of a head ache. Tanner comes up with the great plan of “Jump off the mine and run,” while he keeps his knife on the detonator. Hauser makes it to safety, but Tanner unfortunately does not.

Hauser then shoots Petty in the leg, buecause he hadn’t shot anyone in over 24 hours and was starting to experience withdrawals, and finds out where one of Petty’s old undetonated bombs is located. it turns out that finding that location is what allowed Lucy and Hauser to hook up in the 60s. To commemorate solving the mystery, and as a Valentine’s gift, Hauser goes back to the hospital and steals Lucy’s body. He takes her to Dr. Beauregard to “fix her.” That sounds easy enough.

While I’m still holding out hope that these episodes will soon start to dig a little deeper into the mystery instead of following formula, it is getting a bit predictable. The show is still entertaining though, so I guess I can wait for things to start happening.

Chase Gamradt
Contributing Writer


Contributing Writer, BuddyTV