'The Real Housewives of Orange County' Recap: The Bunco Hits the Fan
'The Real Housewives of Orange County' Recap: The Bunco Hits the Fan
Last time, in the most anticipated episode for me, personally, Slade did a terrible stand-up routine. It was based largely on the assumptions that everyone in the audience 1) knew all about The Real Housewives of Orange County, and 2) cared. Gretchen told him to re-think some of the jabs at her friends, but he didn't. And for what? What did he stand to gain? This is not a career for him, and yet he jeopardized his relationship with the woman who is supporting him. But hey, Alexis thought it was funny.

"For me, for the first time, I felt like this is what I'm supposed to do," Slade tells Gretchen about stand-up comedy. That might be the douchiest thing he has ever said? I don't know, I haven't been keeping track. Are we witnessing the beginning of the end?

Like, most of me is all, "noooooo!!" but part of me is like, "yes!" because if he pursues this, it is more fun for me, the viewer. But it is awful, and bad news for Gretchen.

"That's a really--no," Gretchen says. But giving an inch, Slade says he will respect her request not to make fun of the women any more. But the damage has been done.

Tamra wants to have an 80's themed Bunco party. That sounds fun! Heather likes it, too. As "an act of good will towards Gretchen," Tamra has invited Alexis. After picking on Alexis a bit, Heather gets to the main event: Slade's "jokes." Tamra takes it in stride, though.

"I'd rather be called fat than someone who doesn't take care of my child," she notes. But she's pissed. Heather's great advice is to make Slade comfortable enough to "shut down the jabber." Tamra says killing him with kindness is a good idea, emphasis on the killing him. Heather is so smart.

Alexis is getting more work done! She has a deviated septum! Nose job woo hooo. Alexis freaks out because it's one of the few things she has left that's original. Or because someone is going to take her FACE. OFF.

After her appointment, Alexis meets Gretchen for coffee. Gretchen looks so cute in that hat! They both hate the bumps on their noses, but Alexis gets to have hers fixed. Then Alexis gets her head very far up the Gretchen/Slade collective comedy ass. In an actual decent piece of advice, Alexis suggests that Gretchen tells Tamra what Slade said before it gets back to her. Too late for that, but it might mean something.

In her beige office, Vicki is distracted by her divorce, forensic accounting, and probably her daughter Brianna's possible tumor.

Gretchen has been invited to dance and sing at Robin Antin's new Pussycat Doll Saloon in Las Vegas. Good for her! Gretchen is appropriately nervous about it. See how she does that, Slade? How she sees an opportunity but is worried because she wants to do well at it? You should maybe do that.

Gretchen's friend? stylist? comes over to help her pick out an outfit for the 80's Bunco party. But Tamra calls in the middle, to talk about Slade's performance. Gretchen was worried, but Tamra handled it lightly. Good job, everyone!

Vicki and Tamra meet, talk about Vicki's stress, and Slade's stand-up. They agree that Vicki is on the verge of a breakdown. BUT, she will be attending the Bunco party. The perfect storm is gathering.

Let's crimp! Or, if you're Heather, a tasteful Robert Palmer "Addicted to Love" outfit will do. But everyone is having fun. Tamra is dressed in an 80's aerobics getup. Wouldn't it be fun to have so much money that you could dress perfectly for any theme party?

"Just because it's an 80's party doesn't mean you have to look bad," Heather says with all the class in the world. But everyone looks bad and it is Heather who is out of place. Alexis didn't get it. But on with the Bunco! It's a dice game that allows you to drink while you play.

Alexis won the first prize, which was "Nipple Nibblers." A few drinks in, Tamra and Gretchen laugh about Alexis's huge nipples that stick out of every shirt and dress she wears, evidently. A few more drinks in, the topic of Slade comes up, and here comes Vicki's breakdown, momentarily!

Gretchen asks Tamra's friend Ricky why he's trying to start sh*t. Uh. oh. Tamra motions for them to stop, but Ricky and Gretchen will not be stopped. To be fair, Ricky is the problem here. Poor Tamra.

They decide to drop it, temporarily, but the tone of the room has changed. Tamra tries to save the mood with a final surprise: "the 80's hottest men" (Terry, Eddie, and Slade dressed 80's). Vicki felt hurt, betrayed, and drunk, by Tamra's invitation to Slade. 

(images courtesy of Bravo)

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