'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Tea and No Sympathy
'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Tea and No Sympathy
Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Jennifer Lind-Westbrook
Contributing Writer, BuddyTV
On this episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Lisa and Kyle meet for cocktails and agree to try and move forward with their friendship. This oath falls apart before the ice melts in their drinks. Brandi and Yolanda are fast becoming friends. Lisa throws a tea party, and none of the women seem to know what constitutes a lawsuit.

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For someone who claims to dread confrontation, Kyle is, if not the source of drama, at least embroiled in it in some way. She has finally decided to sit down with Lisa and try to discuss their differences. Kyle admits that she has genuine affection for Lisa and doesn't want to throw their friendship away over a petty argument. I'm not sure that Lisa views Kyle's constant failure to support her as "petty," which may be where the root of their problem lies.

After some small talk about the loveliness of Lisa's home, the two are off and running. Lisa immediately berates Kyle for not defending the ridiculous claim made by Camille that Lisa doesn't own the restaurant Sur. Kyle states that Lisa was more than adept at defending herself; an understatement to say the least. The two women try to figure out where the source of this season's worth of accusations are coming from with little success.

The bottom line is Kyle didn't rush to Lisa's aid simply because she didn't want to argue with Camille. Lisa realizes that Kyle just wants their relationship to go back to how it was in the past, but Lisa says that can never happen. Lisa says she can "unknow" something. I'm unclear what that means, aside from the fact that it isn't a word. Is she referring to the fact that she can't count on Kyle to have her back, or is she talking about the supposedly planned attack against her on the last reunion show? So many of these women are constantly feeling slighted, it is impossible to keep up with their complaints.

Brandi meets up with Stepford Wife Yolanda as she watches her daughter's horseback riding lesson. She laments the fact that she can only afford to buy her daughter, Bella, one horse while many of the other kids have two or three. Even obscenely wealthy housewives have to economize. Brandi thanks Yolanda for trying to diffuse the awkward dinner at the ladies' last night in Vegas. Brandi expresses concern about attending an upcoming tea party that Lisa is throwing because Adrienne will be there as well. Yolanda praises Brandi for admitting she screwed up and trying to move on. Yolanda faults Adrienne for keeping the dispute going.

We find out that all might be neither forgiven nor forgotten if Brandi signs a piece of paper that apparently prevents her from speaking about the Maloofs and God only knows what else. Although this would prevent a lawsuit, it is doubtful it would put the issue to rest for good. Brandi admits that if she tried to censor herself, she would probably "implode." I certainly have no interest in watching Brandi behave. Yolanda has very strong opinions on the subject and feels Adrienne is using what power and money she has to intimidate Brandi.

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Lisa has planned a tea party to welcome Adrienne back into the fold. Fans of Vanderpump Rules will recognize Sur employees Peter and Jax working the event. What a great excuse for some cross-promotion. Brandi arrives first, and Lisa warns her that the last time she spoke her mind, it cost her $20,000 (in attorney fees). Tyler and her lips show up next. She brings Lisa a vibrator, the perfect gift for the hostess when one attends a tea party. Flowers are just so last year. Marisa arrives, still dissatisfied with her husband, and admits it would be nice to have sex with someone new. Brandi suggests spicing things up with a threesome: "Maybe it's time to bring in some outside talent."

Kyle arrives with Adrienne and uninvited guest Faye Resnick. Lisa is shocked that Kyle would bring her, given how she treated Brandi at her dinner party weeks earlier. This just goes to prove that Kyle is a s**t stirrer. Camille shows up and after a nauseating amount of air kisses, it is time to sit down to tea. Per usual, Kim is a no-show.

The fact that everybody is drinking booze as opposed to tea is a strong indicator that Lisa's attempt at a peace summit is going to be in vain. A drunken Taylor is surprisingly the one to get the ball rolling by saying offhandedly that "Everybody loves to sue everyone here." We knew that big mouth was good for something. Kyle tries to change the subject by talking about her upcoming white party. Tyler continues her quest to make the group uncomfortable by bringing up how she was asked to leave last year. Lisa pulls Taylor and Brandi aside and warns Taylor to stop with the innuendos. I'm not sure why she feels the need to scold Brandi, who seems to be behaving herself.

Meanwhile, back at the table, Adrienne tells Kyle that there is no lawsuit. Camille confirms that all Adrienne wants is for Brandi to back off on the chatter. Taylor returns to the table and tells Adrienne that Brandi claims to have a letter from Adrienne saying that she is suing her. Adrienne acts bewildered by this revelation. Taylor is determined to insert herself and her humongous lips where they don't belong. When Brandi and Lisa return to the table, Tyler asks Brandi if she got a letter. Brandi states that Adrienne's attorney sent a letter to Brandi's attorney. Again, Adrienne proclaims there is no lawsuit. Watching this play out is giving me a headache, much less trying to write it down. Tyler is just pissed because the situation resembles the debacle she had to deal with last season. The whole thing deteriorates into she said/she said.

This season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is metaphorically stuck in the mud. Everyone talks about moving forward, but every time these ladies get together, they rehash the same arguments. Somebody, please get a tow truck and free us all from this drivel.

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 3 now airs at 8pm on Bravo.

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(Image courtesy of Bravo)



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