Evil has a new name. And that name is, simply, “Courtney.”

At least, that’s what this Bachelor promo for tonight’s “most controversial season finale you’ll have to see to believe!” tells us, in a series of seizure-inducing cuts and intense death-drum-accompanied block letters. GOOD VS. COURTNEY! The final showdown! Who will control THE (engagement) RING?

Watching this, you’d think it’s not just Ben’s heart that’s at sake. The fate of the entire world must be on the line.

Remember this network-produced and -sanctioned promo when, in the After the Final Rose special (10-11pm), Ben and Courtney and Chris Harrison all take turns shaming us, the viewing public and media, for saying mean things about Courtney. Remember that this is the image that ABC WANTS us to have of Ben’s maybe-fiancee. And remember that the show only revealed her “softer side” belatedly and halfheartedly. This is the Courtney they want us to relish and remember, not the weeping one from last week. They started the Evil Courtney thing — and they’re finishing it, too.

And, just in case the world ends when we see Ben propose to Courtney tonight, you should probably make all of these Bachelor-inspired cocktails and play the Finale Drinking Game. Go out with a bang! Or, you know, a hurl.

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.