'Teen Wolf' Recap: Bestiary? Don't You Mean...
'Teen Wolf' Recap: Bestiary? Don't You Mean...
Laurel Brown
Laurel Brown
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
This is a very important episode of Teen Wolf. Not only does the Thing come back with a slimy and paralytic vengeance, but we also get an important vocabulary lesson! Keep reading for everything you need to know about "Abomination."

In Which We Learn a Very Important Secret About the Vet

"Abomination" picks up right where we left off last week. As the Vet quickly cleans and dresses Scott's wound, he tells the boy... Well, nothing really. The Vet's story is -- like all important character back-stories -- too long to actually tell us. Figures.

All Scott gets to learn is that the Thing, whatever it is, probably has an entry in the Argents' "Manual for Hunting Creepy-Crawlies."

But then the Hunters come back for their slashed-up comrade, and Scott has to hide in the closet. The Vet holds an after-hours consultation with Grandpa Gerard, Mr. Argent and some Hunter Redshirts.

In this scene, we learn the following things:

1. The Hunters and the Vet know each other. But they don't like each other.

2. Teen Wolf has no budget for prosthetic wound makeup -- the dead guy's claw marks look like they were made with Silly Putty.

3.
The Thing slashes the neck with a paralytic toxin and then claws its victims to death.

4. Because the unfortunate Hunter was not eaten, the Thing may live only to kill.

And most importantly...

5. The Vet's name is Alan! OMG! He has a name! Who cares about the rest?!


Death-by-Thing Is Too Good for Overpriced Mechanics

Stiles has had car trouble. And now he has mechanic trouble. Because this is Teen Wolf, the overpriced mechanic is essentially a god of a man, blond and shirtless like the grease-stained embodiment of Thor, the Mighty God of Thunder!

He's still a prick.

While Thor the Mechanic thinks of imaginative ways to "fix" Stiles' car for higher prices, Stiles heads to the office for some passive-aggressive texting. But there's a problem. Thanks to some convenient Thing-goo on the door handle, Stiles' hands succumb to paralysis.

It gets worse. Out in the mechanic's bay, the Thing spies on its next victim. One quick neck-slash and Thor goes down! We are then treated to the slowest death in the history of TV deaths. Poor Thor!


If You Can't Trust Your Psychotic, Murder-Prone Family, Who Can You Trust?

Over at the Argent McMansion, Allison prepares for a moonlit rendezvous with Scott. She mists up her window for the details... And Grandpa Gerard appears in the window! Seriously, he's like the creepiest jack-in-the-box ever!

Somehow, Allison still trusts Grandpa. That's what Gerard wants -- trust. Allison is expected to trust her obsessed, murderous family over her friends. A simple teenage "Yeah..." not cutting it, Allison gets to see a brief glimpse of Evil Grandpa before he gets all cute and pill-popping again.

You're better off with Scott, girl.


Everyone Has a Crappy Night

The garage of the Mighty Thor is now a crime scene. Sheriff Stilinski doesn't exactly believe Stiles' "He was dead when I got here and my hands are totally OK and not even a little paralyzed!" story. But what else can he go with? A scaly, slimy monster Thing who hates price-gouging?

At least Stiles can talk things through with Scott. Even when those things include a Thing with a thing for Stiles.

Meanwhile, at Werewolf Boot Camp, Derek is running a training session for the puppies. For Isaac, this means repetitive hurling into a wall. For Erica, this means one last make-out session with her Alpha. For Boyd, this means... Standing around? Wow, Boyd has it easy.

Neither Derek nor his hotness is impressed with the puppies' survival skills. Also, he's irritated with the continued presence of the Thing. Why does irritation make Derek more attractive? That seems wrong.

Shortly after this Thing talk, we totally coincidentally visit Lydia. Lydia isn't doing so well. Not only does she need to see the school psychologist/irritable French teacher, the poor girl also wakes up surrounded by her own blood. That's what happens when you smash a mirror...


Bestiality and Other Psychological Conditions

Everyone has a lot to deal with at school the next day.

Lydia has to deal with pink gloves, a random weird guy and a totally disinterested and oddly combative psychologist.

Stiles has to deal with his friends' limited vocabularies (for the record, bestiaries and bestiality are very much not the same thing) and love messenger-induced asthma.

Scott and Allison have to deal with being cute and flirting via Stiles-proxy.

At least we get results. Allison realizes that the bestiality bestiary must be in Grandpa Gerard's locked office. But how to get the key...


Extracurricular Activities

That night's lacrosse game is a veritable hotbed of activity. There's the game, of course, complete with dangerous coaching and random player substitutions (do they usually call spectators like Boyd onto the field?). But the supernatural stuff is way more interesting.

Allison manages to steal Grandpa Gerard's keys, passing them on to Stiles. Alas, Stiles being Stiles, the sight of a sobbing Lydia distracts the boy from his mission. Then, Stiles being Stiles, he calms Lydia's tears by telling her she's beautiful and awesome and "Oh shoot. Wait five minutes while I go break into the principal's office, OK?"

He should have stayed with Lydia. Grandpa Gerard's office is empty of all bestiality bestiaries. The office is not, however, empty of werewolves. Erica is back to continue her odd little obsession with Stiles.

Speaking of obsessions, Jackson uses his obsession to learn from Danny and Matt(?) that two hours were edited out of his sleeping movie. Speaking of other obsessions, Matt(?) is still way too into photographing Allison.


Danger and Discomfort

Erica leads Stiles to the pool and to Derek. They want to know all about the Thing, a point emphasized when Derek kills a basketball. He shouldn't have bothered. After all, the Thing shows up right on cue for its attack. Stiles is safe yet again, but Erica gets knocked out and Derek gets a paralysis-slash.

The Alpha werewolf topples straight into the pool, prompting Stiles to go all unappreciated-hero by jumping in after him. While the apparently hydrophobic Things skulks around the edges of the water, Stiles keeps Derek afloat. Derek is not as appreciative as you might think. Hot guys are like that sometimes.

Out on the field, Scott sacrifices himself to score and to stop Boyd from going full-on werewolf. This results in a broken leg, a whole bunch of unwanted attention and a dinner invitation from Grandpa Gerard.

Remember when Scott had that awkward dinner with the Argents back in season 1? Well this dinner beats that. By a lot. Gerard seems perfectly content to eat his gourmet food and tease the kids about their star-crossed love affair. The rest of them, not so much.

But what are they going to do? Mr. Argent can threaten Scott over cake as much as he likes, but no one is going to spill the beans about Scott being a werewolf. That would be bad. Very bad.


Ignorance Is Bliss, Considering the Alternatives

Allison and Scott excuse themselves from dinner to "study." Shockingly, this is not code for "making out in Allison's bedroom." Instead, these crazy kids break into Grandpa Gerard's portable safe (because who doesn't travel with a safe?) to find the bestiality bestiary.

Unfortunately, it's a cookbook. Grandpa is a foodie!

Because Allison is slightly smarter than her vocabulary would indicate, she figures out that Grandpa Gerard had gone high-tech with his ancient monster lore. The bestiality bestiary is on the flash drive hanging from Gerard's keychain. Stiles has that, so Scott rushes off to the school with the new information.

Why couldn't he just call? Mostly this is because Stiles is still in the swimming pool with Derek. You've got to be impressed by the boy's water-safety skills, since Stiles has kept Derek afloat for about two hours.

Not even Stiles can keep up such heroism, however. He drops Derek (who sinks to the bottom in slow motion) and tries for the phone. As is its habit, the Thing does not attack Stiles and just hisses a bit. Not that this helps. Stiles fails to get through to Scott and nearly drowns in his attempt to save Derek.

Fortunately, Scott shows up right about then.

Too bad he doesn't notice the slimy monster Thing. Although Scott avoids being slimed into paralysis, the Thing does manage to throw the werewolf into a few walls. Adrenaline being helpful to brain power, Scott grabs a shard of broken glass to use as a weapon. Not that broken glass can beat paralytic Thing-goo, of course.

Or can it? The minute the Thing sees its own reflection, it takes off. It's like the reflection caused it pain.  Like the Thing might want to smash that mirror image before crawling under its comforter until morning and more pink gloves come...


So What Is the Thing?

Safe for the moment, Scott and Stiles boot up the bestiality bestiary and marvel at the probably-Latin contained in it. That's OK. They have Derek, who suddenly knows all about the monster. He calls it a Kanima, which is some sort of abomination that doesn't even know its own identity.

Derek doesn't care about the identity issues. He just cares about killing it.

Deadly force is also on the mind of dear old Grandpa Gerard. All jovial grandpa-ness gone, Gerard ambushes Scott and stabs him in the gut. But the Hunter doesn't want this werewolf dead -- he wants Scott to do him a favor.

And if not, the next stabbing victim will be Mrs. McCall...

Is it just me, or is Grandpa Gerard a bit of a jerk?


Is Lydia the Kanima, or is that way too obvious? What did Jackson do in his missing two hours? What does Grandpa Gerard have planned? Tell us your theories and thoughts below -- and check back here or on Twitter for more Teen Wolf!

(Images courtesy of MTV)


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