Three 6 Mafia once informed us that it’s hard out here for a pimp, but Gossip Girl has taught us that being a gigolo isn’t exactly a walk in the park either.  Last week, Vanessa learned that Cougar Catherine will happily sell Nate’s dad down the river if Nate doesn’t keep delivering the love on a regular basis.  V promptly broke things off with Mr. Archibald, while Dan and Serena were experiencing a break up of their own.  Those two kids just can’t accept the fact that they come from different worlds.  Strangely enough, Blair’s relationship with the Lord still seems to be going strong, despite the fact that he caught her making out with Chuck.

On tonight’s episode of Gossip Girl, Dan gets friendly with a new girl named Amanda.  I don’t think Lonely Boy will be lonely for very long.

Gossip Girl begins on the first day of school.  Lily (Kelly Rutherford) is back in town with tales of her romantic adventures with Bart Bass, and Chuck makes sure to fill her in on Serena’s break up.  C tells S that she’s a born queen, and that it’s about time she reclaimed her crown and ruled the school like the olden days.  Over in Brooklyn, Little J is afraid to go to school due to Blair’s psychosis.  B and her gang of perfectly coiffed wannabes split new girls into two categories every year: Projects and Victims.  J was a Project last year, but now she’s afraid she’s going to be downgraded.  Luckily for her, B’s posse simply ignores her in the hallways.

Nate (Chace Crawford) corners Vanessa on the sidewalk to figure out why she bolted from the party last week.  Instead of explaining how evil Cougar Catherine is, she just blows him off.  Nate isn’t having any luck with love, but Dan fares a bit better at school when he runs into a new girl named Amanda.  It’s your typical meet cute moment, but things get awkward when Serena sees them acting like they’re in a romantic comedy.  Humphrey isn’t supposed to land a date before the Queen of Constance Billiard lines one up.  The world is askew!

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