'Big Brother 11' Recap: Jessie's So Excited, I'm So Scared
'Big Brother 11' Recap: Jessie's So Excited, I'm So Scared
It's time to start another insufferable week of Big Brother 11.  Don't get me wrong, I still love this show and it's the best guilty pleasure of the summer for me, but for the third straight week, an HG I absolutely HATE is the HoH, which means the people I actually like will be targeted once again.  I really hope one of my people like Jeff, Casey or Michele win HoH next week, because I'd like to go into this show feeling good instead of dreading the worst.

Of course there is a glimmer of hope, as Laura's final days in the Big Brother house were spent successfully exposing Ronnie for the lying liar he is, which essentially turned everyone against him.  The only problem is that the king and queen of the "Ronnie Isn't Such a Bad Guy" club, Jessie and Natalie, are back in power.  Jessie may be HoH, but Natalie is his Lady MacBeth.

The Ken Burns documentary known as the "Previously on" package starts before Ronnie even won HoH and ends with Ronnie crying "I miss my wife."  Oh how the mighty have fallen.

After winning HoH, Jessie continues to redefine the word "narcissism" by admiring how great and wonderful and smart he is.  Casey and Kevin fear that they now have co-HoHs again because of Natalie.  That girl is quietly running this house by controlling the big dumb jocks Jessie and Russell, just like Shredder with Bebop and Rocksteady.

The worst part is that Jessie, Russell and Natalie are the only three people on Ronnie's side, and they're in charge.  Right away, my head starts to explode because the initial plan is to get rid of Casey.  Natalie even goes as far as to tell Ronnie that he's safe this week.  That girl is going to have some serious blood on her hands after this week, and all the bleach in Lydia's hair won't get those damn spots out.

In Jessie's HoH room, Jordan proves that she's one the smartest women in the house, which says a lot about the idiotic bimbos in the house.  Natalie is gaga over the photos of Jessie's big muscles and Lydia essentially has an orgasm after seeing Jessie's big fat hog (ie his motorcycle).

Casey attempts to reason with Natalie by explaining that not getting Ronnie out will turn the entire rest of the house against Jessie even more than they are already since he's a strong guy who already has his chance on the show.  Lady MacNat immediately tells Jessie about Casey's speech, making it sound like it was a threat and not a rational recitation of the facts, which is exactly what it was.

Lydia aims to throw a wrench in the MacBeths' relationship by flirting with Jessie on the hammock.  She tries to talk to him about serious issues, and he interrupts to ask her to feel how soft his hair is.  That's followed by an extended metaphor where Jessie calls Lydia and himself caterpillars that can turn into beautiful, steroid-riddled butterflies.

Natalie walks outside to c-block the off-beat tattooed chick by sitting between them.  Kevin adds his useless two cents saying that Jessie is a hot guy and that right now there are three people in love with him: Lydia, Natalie and Jessie himself.  Why the hell is everyone under the false impression that Jessie is attractive?  He looks like a freak of nature and his personality is a bigger turn-off than back hair.

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-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of CBS)