Things just got crazy in the Big Brother
house. The pawn goes, America's Player grits his teeth and tries his best to make America like him, and there's even a barbershop quartet. It's a trainwreck of awesomeness, and I'm going to savor every drop until Dick inevitable starts alienating people again as he becomes drunk with power by proxy.
The episode begins with Julie Chen trying desperately to forget last week's mess up during the HoH competition. Don't worry, Julie, we're here to make sure you never forget that you make Jeff Probst look like Edward R. Murrow. After a week or terrorizing the other HGs in order to ensure his eviction, Dick is suddenly singing a new tun. With his daughter safe, he struggles to win over all those he's verbally assaulted.
When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts
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Dustin is confident about his chances to stay. A little too confident. He's fake crying and boasting about how he's the super genius who plotted the demise of Nick and Dick, Daniele's entire support system. It gets real annoying, and even his overly catty and bitter ex Joe chimes in during a canned segment about how Dustin's true, self-destructive self is showing.
Zach takes Jessica on a backyard date and the two have an engaging discussion about game strategy. It's a shame, because it's among the first times Zach is getting involved when he shouldn't, but his goal is admirable: he wants Jessica to team up with him so they can fly under the radar together. It is true that, up to this point, they seem the least involved in Dick's massive web of gaming. It's sweet, and I continue to find myself rooting for Zach to win this whole thing.
On the opposite end of the spectrum is Eric, who is so busy trying to juggle all the balls and chainsaws America is throwing at him that Jessica is slipping through his clutches. First, he explains that the silent treatment was due to a mystery illness,and she buys it. Then, after America instructs him to evict Dustin (naturally), he heads up to the HoH bedroom to try and get Jessica on his side. While he does this, she continually makes overt sexually advances. She mentions her boobs while heaving them out. She keeps up these moves, telling him he's hot, but all he wants to talk about is trying to evict Dustin. I think those nipple rings are dampening his sex drive.
Eric Tries to Win America Over
As angry as I've been over the unfair way America has been treating Eric with the America's Player voting, he is taking it all in stride. When he discovers he has to evict Dustin, he sighs, but vows to do it. Later, he and Dick are talking, and it looks like Eric is willing to team up with the Donatos. This is so messed up for so many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that, one week ago, Dick was full of fire and brimstone about what a sneaky punk Eric was (just imagine I inserted about a million excessive curse words). Now Dick admires Eric's game play. For someone who accuses everyone of being liars, it will be interesting to see whether Dick sticks to this, or whether he'll turn on Eric.
The point is that Eric is showing a lot of patience with the AP twist, and has more or less given up fighting it. Now it's up to America: will they support this new plan and start to play with him, or will America be fickle and just want to mess with him as much as possible?
Dick Redeemed, Dustin Checks Out
Here's my problem with Dick: when he's a verbally abusive tyrant trying to intimidate everyone into doing what he wants, he's terrible. When he lets go of the control, he's awesome. During the nominee speeches, Dick, knowing he's about to leave, says his only regret is that Carol isn't there to give him a big sloppy kiss on the lis. Everyone laughs, as they should, because laid back Dick is hilarious. Sadly, this may be the shortest redemption in history. By a vote of 4-2, Dustin is evicted.
During the votes, Amber and Jameka side with Dustin, but the other four (Eric at America's behest) vote to evict Dustin, so he's gone. The look on his face is almost worth it, because he's more stunned than probably anybody who's ever been evicted in this game. The video farewells are quite telling. Now that Dustin's on the jury, Eric has to hide his AP status, so he plays it off like he voted for Dustin. Yeah, no one's going to buy that Amber or Jameka flipped.
Dick is probably the worst, because it shows signs that old Dick is about to return. He pats himself on the back, saying that if Dustin's watching this, then Dick pulled off the most amazing upset in the history of the game. Yeah, he didn't. He had little or nothing to do with it whatsoever. His salvation is all courtesy of America, because if they didn't vote for him to stay, Eric would've booted his butt and Jessica would've cast the tiebreaker to send him home. Sadly, he doesn't know this, and as such, his ego remains fully overblown.
The Surreal Life
The day before, untold insanity went down in the house, and it was easily the craziest stuff this show has ever done. First, a little person dressed as the Mad Hatter wanders into the house, spouting off phrases like "A stitch in time saves nine." It's creepy as all hell. Then they go into the backyard where a barbershop quartet and a pirate on stilts also rattle off enigmatic songs and phrases about alliances and power and trust. Everyone is obviously clued into the fact that this all means something, so they try to memorize every single word.
Back in the house, some real bunnies are in a cage, and a moving statue strikes various poses. There are playing cards, phrases, images, all kinds of things to memorize. It's not quite as cool as when Neil Patrick Harris stopped by, but very few things in this world are cooler than NPH. Absolute zero is the only thing I can think of right now.
You Say Donato, I Say "Do Not...Oh"
The HoH competition is, of course, about answering true or false questions regarding that insanity. Jen is knocked out on the first question, though she raises all kinds of chaos saying she thought she put in the correct answer, and that it wasn't her fault. Julie Chen, mindful of last week's misstep, completely ignores her. Zach, Eric and Dick all get eliminated next, so it's down to Amber and Daniele. Much like the tag line to the film Alien vs. Predator
, "Whoever wins, we lose." The lesser of two evils (I think) prevails, and Daniele is HoH once again. For the third time in five weeks, a Donato runs the house.
Why This is Good: Amber has a great shot at going home, so maybe we won't have to see her cry, or swear on her daughter's life, or go off on meth flashback-induced anti-Semitic rants.
Why This is Not Good: Dick will once again let this go to his head, and we'll probably be treated to more of his obnoxious antics about how he's the greatest.
Why We Should Wait and See: If Dick is fair and honest, he should recognize that Eric voting to save him is the sole reason he's still in this game, and he owes his survival to him. If Dick and Eric team up, it could be a fascinating re-alliance. If Dick targets him, then everyone who supports Dick will have no leg to stand on when defending his integrity in the game.
Chime in with your opinion. Are you happy Dick is still around and Daniele is HoH? Do you still hate Eric, even though he's now doing exactly what America wants? Will Zach win it all by never accomplishing anything?
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of RealityBBQ)