It’s not going to be a pretty sight. Not if you’re Charlie Sheen anyway. There has been much speculation about which horrible things Two and a Half Men will inflict on its former star, and it looks like the worst of our hopes fears will come true.

According to recent reports, season 9 of Two and a Half Men will begin with the funeral of Charlie Harper. has reportedly confirmed the storyline of the pilot, which will air in two parts. The funeral will most likely take place in the first part, with the second more likely covering the aftermath of Charlie’s death as it relates to his family’s living arrangement.

For the funeral segment, a host of Charlie Harper’s ex-girlfriends will be on hand to laugh cry at the loss of such a ladies’ man. Which girlfriends specifically are not yet known, but there could easily be many, many ladies on hand.

It is equally unknown which celebrities might show up to take a look at Charlie’s house. For those without a sufficient Two and a Half Men grounding, most of the show took place in Charlie Harper’s beach house, in which his brother and nephew had crashed indefinitely. With Charlie gone, the house will be for sale.

And among those looking to buy the house? New Two and a Half Men star Ashton Kutcher.

Will Ashton Kutcher buy the house? How will the surviving Harpers manage to retain residence after the purchase? That remains to be seen — and it’s not certain that home-ownership is Kutcher’s entree into the show’s world. reports that Kutcher will not necessarily be a homeowner before the premiere is through.

Whatever all this means for the future of Two and a Half Men, one thing is absolutely certain: they are done with Charlie Sheen. That’s hardly a shock, of course, after the events of this past winter and spring. But there is still a slight surprise in the thoroughness with which Chuck Lorre & Company are getting rid of old acting baggage.

You just don’t come back from a funeral.

The season 9 premiere of Two and a Half Men will air on Monday, September 19.

Do you think this will work well for Two and a Half Men? Do you expect a Charlie Sheen response to this? Is death too harsh a fate for Charlie Harper? Let us know your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below!

(Image courtesy of CBS)

Laurel Brown

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Laurel grew up in Mamaroneck, NY, Grosse Pointe, MI and Bellevue WA. She then went on to live in places like Boston, Tucson, Houston, Wales, Tanzania, Prince Edward Island and New York City before heading back to Seattle. Ever since early childhood, when she became addicted to The Muppet Show, Laurel has watched far too much TV. Current favorites include ChuckModern FamilySupernaturalMad Men and Community. Laurel received a BA in Astrophysics (yes, that is possible) from Colgate University and a PhD in Middle Eastern Studies and History of Science from Columbia University before she realized that television is much better than studying.