In this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Shannon and her husband meet up with Brooks and Vicki in Mexico. Heather worries that Shannon will cause a rift between herself and Vicki. Tamra and Eddie remain at an impasse when it comes to expanding their family. And Shannon and David’s marital discord is on full display.
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Shannon claims that she and husband David have moved past his Dear Jane e-mail, but then she contradicts herself by stating how much the threat of his leaving rattled her and still appears to be looming over her head. The twosome are off for a romantic couples’ getaway in Mexico with Brooks and Vicki, and if they can survive that, they will likely be forged together for all eternity.
Heather, whose friendships with both Tamra and Vicki have been strained this season, fears the repercussions Shannon’s influence could have on her and Vicki’s friendship. It is inevitable that Shannon will have plenty to say, and it’s obvious Heather is nervous that she’s not going to come off looking so great in Shannon’s version of current events.
South of the border, Vicki prepares for Shannon and David’s arrival. Not only did Tamra blab to Heather about the Beadors’ marital problems but to Vicki as well. So Vicki knows at least part of the story. What’s laughable is that she thinks it’s important for Shannon and David to be around healthy couples because maybe it will have some influence on them. What?!?!?! Is there another couple coming as well? Has the sun fried her brain to the extent that she believes her relationship with Brooks is something others should strive for?
More important, Vicki owns one hell of a kick-ass condo in Puerto Vallarta. Still, Shannon isn’t fully satisfied with the accommodations. Although she and David don’t travel often, apparently when they do, they go all out. She’s not used to sharing a condo with anyone else. Way to be completely ungrateful. Shannon is deeply troubled by the fact that she has to sleep in a double bed.
Because Vicki’s son Michael and brother Billy are also bunking down at Casa de Vicki, David thinks it provides them with the perfect out. Shannon is hesitant, fearing the drama their exit may cause, but a girl simply cannot settle.
David’s plan to say that he and Shannon don’t feel right about kicking Michael out of his room is an epic fail because Vicki tells them he always bunks out on the couch. She’s not about to let them go without a fight, even offering up her room to make her finicky guests feel more comfortable.
Parental Guidance Needed
Tamra and Eddie are still playing house with robotic infant Astro. They haven’t had the thing long, and Tamra’s already complaining about it like she’s never had a kid before. She’s also pissed that Eddie isn’t doing his fair share to keep little Astro happy. Lucky for Eddie, Tamra is realizing that she doesn’t have the patience or the stamina to care for an infant like she once did. Little Astro may be the best thing to ever happen to him.
Even though it’s painfully obvious these two should not have a baby, Tamra still wants Eddie to participate in the experiment and get the full effect. She even suggests he straps the thing to himself when he goes for a bike ride because that’s what all good parents of newborns do. Eddie makes it clear this is her bag, and he’ll participate if and when he has the time.
Tamra’s not the only one feeling like a single mom. Lizzie just can’t stop talking about how busy she is raising her two boys, judging pageants and nurturing her bathing suit line. But she still has time to put on a full face of makeup and do her hair.
Lizzie feels like her husband, Christian, finds parenting a burden. From Lizzie’s perspective, Christian is a big believer in the traditional family where the woman stays home and takes care of the kids and dad does whatever the hell he feels like. These are the conversations you have before having children, people.
Passive-Aggressive in Puerto Vallarta
After some fun in the sun (despite Shannon’s dislike of the ocean and fish), the couples sit down for lunch and tequila. There really is just no pleasing Mrs. Beador, who is chafed that Vicki and Brooks are seeing David in his “fun mode” and not in the “d*ck mode” she gets front row seats to at home. Would it make her happier if David would act unhappy? What is her freakin’ deal? They are having a good time, but she wishes they could have even more. Okay, that’s understandable, but she’s also the one who said earlier in the episode that no marriage is perfect, and everybody has their ups and downs. If she’s got my head spinning, imagine how David must feel. Sorry, Shannon, that you are a total nag, and your husband doesn’t dig spending quality time with someone who’s perpetually malcontent.
Vicki decides to play marriage counselor and puts the couple on the spot, asking them if they enjoy spending time together. Shannon says yes, but David says their differing interests make it a struggle. Ouchie! Vicki decides that David is pretty much checked out and that Shannon is not high on his list of priorities. If anyone could identify the signs of a crappy marriage, it would be Vicki.
Vicki and Shannon ditch the boys, and Vicki gets all the deets on what’s been going on in the OC: David’s e-mail, Shannon confiding in Tamra, Tamra betraying Shannon’s trust, Heather gossiping about Shannon and ejecting her from her house and so on and so forth. We’ve all been there and done that. Vicki is fully team Shannon and also, all of a sudden, a proponent of female solidarity. Maybe people should drink the water in Mexico after all.
The couples head out for dinner, and it doesn’t take long for Shannon and David to start bickering. Both are last word freaks and neither seems embarrassed about arguing in front of others. Vicki observes that Shannon is chiseling away at David so much that, soon, there will be nothing left. Maybe they should all go beat the crap out of a pinata.
Shannon excuses herself, and Vicki follows suit. She sees Shannon making the same mistakes with David that she made with Don — always pointing out the bad and never the good.
Shannon tells Vicki that she feels that everybody’s eyes are on her relationship, and her relationship is fine. If her marriage was in such great shape, she wouldn’t be so self-conscious. Shannon just keeps repeating “But we’re fine.” She returns to the table and tells her husband that he shouldn’t make her look like such a b*tch. Oh yeah, things are great.
The two excuse themselves, and David tries to calm his wife down. She’s overly concerned how others view their marriage, but she takes every opportunity to shine a spotlight on it.
Shannon needs to stop playing victim and starting taking responsibility. All she ever says is how misunderstood she is, and she feels all the ladies are being critical and treating her badly. Yeah, it was really crappy of Vicki to invite you and your husband to Mexico — that b*tch!
I’m so over Lizzie talking about “having it all” like she’s the plucky heroine in an ’80s movie. Her company exists of a few fabric swatches and sketches stuck to a pinboard on her wall. Enough already.
The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Mondays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)