In this episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, “Beauties in the Fast Lane,” Phaedra prepares emotionally for Apollo’s impending incarceration. Kandi and Todd want to add to their family. Cynthia, Claudia and Kenya attend the opening of Peter’s new bar.
The girls are back in Atlanta, and they’ve brought more back than their luggage. The trip was the final death knell for Cynthia and NeNe’s friendship. Cynthia, who had hoped to remain cordial with her former bestie, has realized that NeNe isn’t big on second chances, saying, “Girl, bye.” She is singing Claudia’s praises, so it looks like the new “Beauties Brigade” is here to stay. I don’t know how many times these two can declare their friendship null and void, but in the spirit of beating a dead horse, Cynthia sets their “friendship contract” on fire. Yes, girlfriend had that little piece of paper filed away. Crazy much?
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Bringing Up Baby
In a lame cross-promotion attempt, Kandi and Todd go to see Married to Medicine‘s Dr. Jackie. Kandi and Todd have been trying to get pregnant (next spin-off) but with no luck. This means that Todd gets to ejaculate into a cup in “The Masturbatorium”. Talk about performance anxiety. I have to give Todd a big shout-out for putting his sperm out there front and center.
Kandi makes procreation a family affair when she recruits her and Todd’s daughters to clear out the junk food and help her track her ovulation days on a calendar. That’s got to be mildly traumatizing to know exactly when your parents are doing it. And since Todd’s swimmers are good to go, according to Dr. Jackie, he and Kandi are going to be hitting it a lot.
Hard to See the Rainbow When You’re Sitting in the Storm
Phaedra’s back at work defending alleged hair thief Derek J. Things in her personal life are about to come to a head. Apollo has been given a date to report to prison and it can’t come soon enough for Phaedra. We already know she’s got a little somethin’ somethin’ going on the side.
Her primary concern is helping her sons handle this new chapter. She’s very determined that her boys have a good male role model around them. Phaedra better rethink her vetting process. I think she let her private parts do her thinking when she chose to settle down with Apollo.
Shame on Phaedra, Apollo and Bravo for airing the “daddy’s going away” convo. Apollo’s mea culpa tour continues, and this time, he apologizes to his boys (not directly). Years from now, Ayden and Dylan can turn on RHOA reruns and see how sorry their father was for being a world-class screw-up.
Here’s to the Next Mrs. Stewart
Claudia, Cynthia and Kenya continue to bond by driving to Charlotte, NC, for the opening of Peter’s sports bar. Kenya razzed Kandi endlessly upon hearing that the singer stopped for Chick-fil-A before season 6’s road trip to Savannah. Yet, the irony appears lost on her when the threesome pick up a veritable feast at the fast food chain.
Now that she’s no longer the odd woman out, Kenya’s in pretty high spirits. She sings her own song shamelessly, sticks her head out of the sunroof and even moons some unsuspecting drivers en route to Charlotte. I’m definitely not too crazy about her trying to get the nickname “Twirl” to catch fire. She’s really trying to brand or capitalize on something incredibly lame.
Between stopping for food, getting gas and Kenya’s shenanigans, the ladies arrive to Charlotte way behind schedule. Kenya and Cynthia are also determined to give Claudia a makeover, which seems unnecessary. The woman is beyond gorgeous. Also, Kenya needs to dial it down. The woman is a bit manic.
These women obviously don’t go to run-of-the-mill sports bars because they are dressed to the nines. Sports One is definitely more upscale than beer and big screen TVs. Also of note, Porsha’s ex-husband Kordell is Peter’s partner.
Claudia knows Kordell from way back in the day, and the two are somewhat chummy. Kenya obnoxiously tries to make a love connection. I’m sure she’s thinking more about sticking it to Porsha than Claudia’s love life.
Claudia says she’s not one to go after a woman’s ex, but since she and Porsha aren’t friends, it would be on the level if she did step out with Kordell. Honorary housewife Peter is also anxious for his boy Kordell to hook up with Claudia. His motives are just as transparent as Kenya’s; he wants Kordell to have sex with a super hot woman. Cynthia gets a little testy when Peter cozies up to Claudia. She puts her husband in check pretty quick.
Claudia must have gotten a taste of something she likes because she makes the first move on Kordell. I think she should have made him come to her, but that’s just me.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)