So apparently, and oh so SHOCKINGLY, Vanessa Hudgens is nude on the internet again. And, in actually shocking news: people are talking about Vanessa Hudgens!
Somewhere in the Hollywood Hills right now, Vanessa Hudgens‘ agent and Vanessa Hudgens are sitting at a fancy glass table in Vanessa Hudgens‘ big fat mansion that she owns because she is a 20-year-old movie star who obviously needs to own her own mansion at that age. Her agent just got done checking off his #1 item on his V-Hudg To-Do List (“Make relevant again”) while next to him, Vanessa Hudgens just wrote a big fat check for $300,000 dollars made out to “My super duper agent LOL!” Because KA-CHING! Now that these new-die nudie pictures are on the internet, everybody is going to want to see Vanessa Hudgens‘ new movie Bandslam, in theaters August 14!
Wait, what? No. That is not what just happened. OR. IS. IT?!
Such are the questions Kim Wetter and Meghan Carlson asked themselves today: why, Vanessa Hudgens, did this nude picture thing happen again? Why did it happen ever? How stupid do you think we are? And how, exactly, stupid are you? Hear us out, and decide the answers for yourselves, dear listeners. If you dare.
Whatever the answers, we’re not going to dignify your publicity stunt by seeing your movie Bandslam, V-Hudg. It looks like a crappier version of School of Rock, anyway. But with teen romance. And we all know what teen romance leads to… (Hint: Apparently, teen romance nowadays leads to girls taking nude photos of themselves on their iPhones. Or Blackberries. Whatevs.)
Another hint for the road: Looking for the scandalous photos? Try “Google.” We’ve already contributed to your moral corruption enough!
-Meghan Carlson & Kim Wetter, BuddyTV Staff Columnists (and Concerned Citizens of Young America)