The Amazing Race travels to Scotland to compete in traditional Scottish culture; maybe there’s some crossover for this show and Game of Thrones!

Even The Amazing Race refers to the Roller Derby Moms as the Roller Derby Moms!  Did anyone catch that in the ‘Previously on…’? Whereas Max and Katie, Caroline and Jennifer, Bates and Anthony and Meghan and Joey go by their actual names, the Derby Moms don’t have an identity. If I knew anything about them, I’d have some empathy. However, I think it’s disrespectful enough to garner some sympathy. 

There’s some more Ford Fusion product placement in the first few minutes. In case last week’s over-the-top product placement didn’t quite make you want to gag via spoon, this week ensures at the very least a good eye roll. 

Fight for Flights

Edinburgh, Scotland, is the next place. I’m pretty excited because I watched Brave last night (which was disappointing to my Scottish core). Also, I’m pretty sure it is pronounced Ed-in-borough, no? At least, in all the British films I’ve seen. Or is it just an accent thing?

The fight to get a good flight begins as Max and Katie use the Internet for more information about flight times. Why aren’t other teams as smart? Maybe this team is just a little more ruthless. I don’t know.

The duo alliance — Meghan and Joey, and Mona and Beth — gets in at 1pm. The other teams look like they are getting in at 4:00, but manage to find themselves on the 10:40am plane. The Newlyweds look pissed, but now they are the Sexy Six. The Country Singers make my job so easy sometimes.

The teams go to a beautiful castle to meet up with the Royal Regiment of Scotland. At this Roadblock, one team member works with an instructor to learn how to play a harmonizing note on the bagpipes while walking around a coolio castle with the rest of the Royal Regiment.

“She’s a singer. She knows how to blow.” Oh, honey. I know you are being nice to your teammate, but that’s so not the thing to say. Especially because Jennifer is failing hardcore at it. Seven tries later, and victory leads to tears. Jennifer’s future husband? This week, his name is Jim, a 70-year-old bagpipe player from Scotland.

Much, much later, Joey and Meghan arrive. Meghan basically makes out with one of the guys by blowing the bagpipes and the task is difficult for her.

Teams now must travel to Craigmillar Castle — a gorgeous castle, but I doubt Scotland’s in short supply of gorgeous castles — for the clue to the Detour.

Scotch or Haggis?

To deliver a national drink or a national delicacy? Oh, the existential questions of the beloved Detour. Tasty Puddin’: use an ox’s intestine and put it in other organs to make haggis and then eat it. Honestly, touching things like that freaks me out so much that I’d have a panic attack. Whiskey Rollin’: roll eight whiskey barrels up the road, but neither the road nor the barrels are especially rolley.

Max and Katie choose haggis. Max says, “‘I could smell that sheep’s last meal.” TMI, Max, especially because you continue to eat and love the food. Jen and Caro also choose puddin’ and adorably flirt with the old poet. 

Bates and Anthony roll the barrels, and decide to carry these 100-pound barrels above their heads. I’m pretty sure no other team could do that. “I feel like the Greek god who is holding up the world. We have the same body, so yeah.” Bates is clearly my favorite contestant this season. 

U-Turns Never Make You Turn Around

The teams then travel to Duddingston Kirk for a clue — and a U-Turn alert. Bates and Anthony U-Turn Meghan and Joey. Max and Katie U-Turn Mona and Beth. We all saw that coming, right?

But before that can happen, the Roller Derby Moms have to make up for coming in last place last week. They must play Skittles — Scottish bowling. One member of the team must bowl for a strike, except they don’t have finger holes. True anecdote: I once got my hand stuck in the bowl retriever machine. I feel the Scottish bowling game of Skittles is the game for me.

Elsewhere, Max and Katie take first and $10,000 each. At this point, how much money is being given out besides this $1 million? I know CBS does well in the ratings, but jeez. Oh, 

Bates and Anthony take second, and Caroline and Jennifer take third. 

Alliances Are Tested

So, in addition to being two hours behind the Sexy Six, the teams are U-Turned and literally traveling behind one another. It’s all about directions.

The U-Turn means Meghan and Joey, and Mona and Beth, must make haggis and roll whiskey. Mona and Beth make haggis really fast — due to their superior cooking skills — and roll whiskey like champs. 

Now, it is already really tight for the race. It might just come down to getting lost or not. 

Meghan and Joey find directions easily. Mona and Beth get lost. It’s neck and neck. Probably. But I guessed Mona and Beth would finish in fourth because they’re mentioned during the episode as Mona and Beth. Surprise! Meghan and Joey are good sports about going out strong.

Again, no mental challenges. I was half hoping that the poet who stopped by the haggis station would play into a clue later, but alas, no, considering Bates and Anthony did not meet him. Maybe the Jekyll and Hyde thing will come up for the two-hour finale next week? I just pray for a mental challenge, please.

So what did you think of tonight’s episode? Are you as sad to see Meghan and Joey go as their U-Turn photo? Are you happy Mona and Beth are in the finals with individual identities now? What did you think of tonight’s episode?

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(Image courtesy of CBS)

Emily E. Steck

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV