While “Ice Pick” doesn’t tell us much more on the mysterious, shape-shifting thing haunting Teen Wolf, the episode doesn’t skimp elsewhere. Keep reading for everything you need to know about new werewolves, scary moms and even a Zamboni!
Please Pay Before Pumping
Allison opens this episode of Teen Wolf by pumping gas. I know, not the most dramatic of beginnings. Fortunately, there are lightning strikes in the distance and a mysteriously smiling motorcyclist to spice things up. Just as Allison begins to get creeped out by the lack of anything happening, the lights go out.
Allison decides she has enough gas now. And, since this is one of those special gas stations where no one has to pay, she hops into her car. But her keys are gone! Allison exits the vehicle in order to look fearfully in every direction. No one is there.
No one, that is, except whoever manages to sneak up behind her with a burlap sack.
A justifiably freaked-out Allison next finds herself in a very rundown room, bound and gagged and seated across from her equally restrained father. A disembodied and scary (and possibly auto-tuned) voice informs the captives that werewolves are dangerous and stuff.
The disembodied and scary voice becomes suddenly less scary (although still disembodied) when a Hunter henchman shows up with a smart-phone. Is Siri the leader of the Hunters? This explains so much…
Mr. Argent quickly breaks through his restraints and informs Allison that this is punishment for her little arrow-shooting spree in defense of Isaac. And it is heavily implied that Allison’s darling, psychotic mother is the actual inventor of such a punishment. Shocker.
With a kiss on the head, Mr. Argent hands his daughter an arrow and leaves her to free herself. Thus ends this creative moment of father-daughter time.
It Has Tentacles! Tentacles!!!
Because she’s awesome like that, Allison frees herself in about two and a half hours. The happy motorcycle guy from before congratulates her for the effort and then randomly stays behind in the dark, misty woods after she leaves.
That’s when the tentacles come out.
Seriously, we’re talking giant octopus here! A giant octopus with a scorpion sting…
The creepy tentacle from nowhere grabs Motorcycle Guy’s leg. Moments later, the Hunter staggers his last steps and falls to the ground. In the misty distance, a dripping claw watches with pleasure.
We now jump ahead to the next school day. It’s climbing-wall time in gym class (because Beacon Hills High is way more well-funded than my high school, where volleyball nets were the best we could expect of gym equipment), and Allison and Scott are using the activity as a chance to flirt. So nothing new there.
Next up, however, are Stiles and a frumpy, messy girl named Erica. Stiles is surprisingly agile on the wall, while Erica has a full-blown panic attack about three feet off the ground. It turns out that Erica has epilepsy and thus good reason for nerves. With everyone watching, the girl gives up.
Only to come back later to try the wall again… Because it’s so much better to climb a wall with no safety equipment. In the dark. Alone.
Not so much. Erica gets up pretty high on the wall before the panic attack brings about a fall. She’s fortunate that Scott somehow senses danger and races back into the gym to catch the girl.
In the hospital, Mrs. McCall — the only nurse who ever does anything there — gives Erica a brief lecture about the need for medication and the glory of good legs. Then she leaves, only to be replaced immediately by Derek. Derek has different ideas about how to treat Erica’s epilepsy.
We will just ignore the borderline sexual assault that apparently must accompany any attempt to turn a girl into a werewolf. Not that Erica is complaining about proximity to the hotness of Derek.
The Philosophy of the Universe and Hot Girls
While all of this is going on, Jackson is still not a werewolf. Thanks to an informative biology-class video, Jackson suddenly realizes that he has someone to blame for this! Yay!
It’s not so yay for Lydia, however, who really has no idea why Jackson is suddenly screaming about her soul-killing immunities. Apparently, werewolf immunity is a sexually transmitted disease.
Believe it or not, Lydia is human enough to be shaken up about this verbal assault. The tearful princess takes refuge in that safest of havens — the women’s restroom. Or maybe it’s not so safe. A pair of big, dirty man-feet approach the stall. But when Lydia emerges to scold the man who dares enter the Secret Sanctum, the bathroom is empty.
Lydia follows the barefoot man down some stairs and to the trophy case. He seems quite interested in the contents but runs away before we can see more. Who could he be???
Meanwhile in the lunchroom, Erica — wearing hideous, bright red lipstick to indicate that she’s now hot — makes her grand entrance, eats an apple and then leaves again. Scott and Stiles follow her out to see Derek and his new werewolf chick driving away in a haze of sexy grandeur.
This sight bothers Scott so much that he breaks stuff later on at his job with the Mysterious Vet. But it’s all okay because the Vet is wise in the ways of entropy and a shape-changing universe. Or something deep like that. Because the Vet is also wise in the ways of deflection instead of discussing werewolves with Scott, the man offers a $2.50 an hour raise. Which is actually pretty good. I’d like a raise like that. But I digress…
Nothing Says Romance Like a Haunted Ice Rink
Scott may also have been distracted by the prospect of a romantic date night at… an abandoned ice-skating rink? I suppose in a small town with nothing but lacrosse to entertain you, ice skating equals romance.
Whatever the romantic sentiment, access to this night of icy fun comes courtesy of Boyd, a quiet, poor student who I guess works there as a janitor or something. We’ll get back to Boyd later.
For now, we get to revel in the amusing antics of Scott and Allison on ice, Scott and Allison in a photo booth, and Scott and Allison reacting in horror as Lydia has a screaming fit on the rink.
Oh yeah, Lydia’s there. Although hanging out with Stiles all night, Lydia refuses to admit any date-like aspects to the whole thing and just eats some candy. Lydia turns out to be as good at skating as she is at math, doing all sorts of slack-jawed-Stiles-inducing tricks. But then she sees some purple flowers and falls to her knees. There, frozen (yet screaming) under the ice is Peter the Dead Alpha.
I would probably scream too.
Don’t Mess with These Ladies
Alas, this is the last we see of Lydia. This is probably because the rest of the female cast needs time to be badass.
First, Erica confronts Scott at the lockers, basically jumping him as she talks about how humiliating her seizures were. Such actions don’t sit well with Allison, even though young Miss Argent manages to avoid jealousy. Instead, Allison informs Scott that a battle is coming and all she wants is for him to stay alive.
This might be difficult — if Mommy Dearest has her way. This creepiest of creepy Teen Wolf characters finds Scott’s love note and reacts as any normal, rational mother would: She slices open her arm with a giant knife.
The wound allows Mrs. Argent to question the always-on-duty Mrs. McCall about Scott’s emotions after the “breakup.” It also allows us to be even more scared when Mrs. Argent doesn’t need anything for the pain of stitches.
I am quite honestly terrified of this woman right now.
An Empty Seat Where Boyd Once Sat
Boyd, the ice-rink Keymaster, doesn’t show up to his normal spot in the cafeteria the next day. Scott and Stiles immediately assume this means Boyd is the next new werewolf in Derek’s pack. You would think that illness, skipping school or just another activity might more easily explain this absence. But no.
Whatever. Their wild conjecture is proved correct when Stiles goes to Boyd’s house with the intention of beating hysterically on the door. While Boyd does not appear, Erica and her lipstick do. She then knocks out Stiles with part of his engine. Because that’s what sexy girl werewolves do, I guess.
Scott does better in the finding-Boyd department. The young man is at the ice rink, totally rocking a Zamboni! Sorry, but Zambonis are wonderful things that must always be mentioned. Scott doesn’t recognize such awe-inspiring machinery though and just wants to warn Boyd that Derek is not to be trusted.
This is Derek’s cue to show up with Isaac and Erica in tow. Scott manages to wipe the floor with the two newbies, but then Derek uses his Alpha power to beat Scott into a bloody pulp. We’re talking literally bloody, with red drops falling on the ice.
Throughout all of this, Boyd has sat calmly atop his Zamboni. You might think this is due to Boyd’s acknowledgment of Zamboni superiority, but no. Boyd has a secret. Lifting his shirt, he reveals a healing bite on the torso. Boyd is already in the pack.
His power displayed, Derek rounds up the pups and leaves Scott on the ice.
No Time for Animals…
I hope there are more vets available in Beacon Hills, because our Vet is too busy for dogs and cats. First, the mysterious animal doctor gets a slashed-up Hunter to examine, courtesy of Mr. Argent. Then, Scott wants to know why Derek’s Alpha-attack wounds won’t heal.
The Vet knows about Slimy the Shape-Shifter too. And he’s not happy.
Not That Jackson Deserves It, But…
Happiness all belongs to Jackson as the episode ends.
After a stern lecture from Mr. Argent and some lacrosse therapy, Jackson gets confirmation that the universe hates him when his truck gets stuck in the mud.
Jackson tries to push it out but initially gets nothing but a face-full of mud. But then… Jackson’s rage lifts the truck right off the ground in a sudden display of superhuman strength.
It looks like Jackson might not be so immune after all.
What does the Vet know about the shape-shifter? How many wolves does Derek need? Who would win in a fight — the shape-shifter or Mrs. Argent? Share your thoughts below!
(Images courtesy of MTV)