Here we go, the season 5 finale of Lost. Sawyer, Juliet and Kate are in the sub, Sayid, Jack, Ellie and Richard are with the hydrogen bomb, Miles, Hurley and Jin are in DHARMA-Ville and John Locke is going over the river and through the woods to Jacob’s cabin…to kill Jacob.
Before the episode started I had two theories: either this entire series is Jack’s dream while he’s on a space shuttle to become the first man to walk on Mars or Mr. Spock is controlling everything from his office in an alternate universe World Trade Center. Congratulations to anyone who gets both references.
Oh ye Gods! So some dude weaves on a loom and goes outside to the beach on the Island to catch and heat up some fish. He sees a ship coming and another man walks up. They talk about the end and progress and how the ship found the Island.
The second man wants to kill the first one, but for some reason he can’t. The first man is Jacob! And as the other guy leaves, we see the giant four-toed statue of Anubis standing tall right next to him. This episode will be insane.
And the confusing flashbacks continue as a little Kate and her friend steal from a convenience store. They get caught and the shopkeeper threatens to call the cops, but a mystery man says he’ll pay for what she stole. The man is…Jacob! Yeah, this is going to be one of those kinds of episodes. Jacob makes Young Kate promise never to steal again.
Back to the sub, an older Kate wants to go back to the Island to stop Jack from detonating a hydrogen bomb. Sawyer doesn’t really give a crap. I love new Sawyer.
Sayid reads through Faraday’s journal and learns they only need to take the Plutonium core of the bomb to detonate. Richard is worried about Ellie because she’s pregnant, but she isn’t scared because she knows her son will be safe. Until he returns to the Island and he kills her, of course.
Dr. Chang is still scared about drilling into the pocket of energy, but Radzinsky is adamant. Was I asleep this whole time, or did Radzinsky suddenly get a whole lot more power than he used to have?
30 Years Later: Sun wants to know who Jacob is, and Ben tells her that he’s in charge of the Island. Richard is still confused about how John Locke came back to life, but Locke suspects it’s the same way Richard never ages – Jacob did it.
Ilana and Bram row up to the main Island with Lapidus, Ilana thinks their pilot might be a candidate for their group, whatever that is. Lapidus wants to know what’s in the box, and when they open it, all he can say is: “Terrific” in a classically ironic tone. Maybe it’s Gwyneth Paltrow’s head.
It’s time for another Jacob flashback! This time, he’s crashing the funeral of James Ford’s parents. This time he gives Lil Sawyer a pen so he can write his letter to Mr. Sawyer promising to kill him. An old relative finds it and makes James promise that he won’t finish the letter because what’s done is done and you can’t change the past.
In 1977 on the sub Sawyer still has no interest in trying to change the past like Jack is, but Juliet makes that decision for him by helping Kate knock out the guard. The three of them point a gun at the captain and make him return to the Island.
Sayid takes the core out of the bomb while Richard has some questions for Jack about John Locke. Richard claims he’s been off the Island to see Locke three times since they first met in 1954. Jack suggests that Richard should have faith in Locke, because Jack is now a convert to the power of faith and destiny.
Speaking of Locke, he’s making plans of his own. Ben reveals that his dead daughter told him to always follow Locke, so Locke tells Ben that he isn’t going to be the one to kill Jacob, Ben is.
Another Jacob flashback, only this one is in the future. Sayid and Nadia are walking around Los Angeles talking about their anniversary. Jacob stops Sayid and asks him for directions. While Sayid is distracted, Nadia walks through the crosswalk and is hit by a car. So that’s how Nadia died! I’m loving Jacob.
Back in 1977 Richard knocks through a wall into one of the DHARMA houses. Ellie wants to go first, but Richard knocks her out, saying that he needs to protect the leader and Jack and Sayid are now on their own.
Jack and Sayid put on some DHARMA jumpsuits to try and blend in, but they’re discovered by Roger Linus who is still angry that Sayid shot his son. A huge gunfight breaks out and Jack kills about 30 DHARMA members thanks to his gun, which must have an infinite number of bullets in it. It’s a magic gun.
Sayid gets shot and luckily Hurley, Miles and Jin ride up in a DHARMA van to take them to safety. To be honest, I wouldn’t be all that sad if Sayid dies.
Rather than have the sub take them back, it just surfaces and Kate, Sawyer and Juliet take a raft back to the Island. Kate and Juliet are now total BFFs. On the Island, Vincent runs up to them. Vincent is alive! But how did he survive for three years?
With the help of Rose and Bernard! Rose and Bernard are alive too! They’ve been living off the grid for three years, happily relaxing in retirement in a cozy little place in the jungle.
Sawyer tells them about Jack and his bomb, and Rose doesn’t give a crap. Rose and Bernard honestly don’t care whether they live or die or what happens to the Island, they’re just happy being together for whatever time they have left. Over the summer I demand a series of webisodes chronicling Rose and Bernard’s three years in the past. That would be delightful.
Back to the future, Lapidus is still pissed off after seeing what’s in the box. Bram tells him that their boss needs it and that they’re the good guys. The caravan arrives at, where else, Jacob’s cabin.
Ilana goes in, but first she flashes back to a time when her face was covered in bandages. Jacob visited her and the two seemed to know each other. He asked for her help.
Inside the cabin, Jacob isn’t home, and he hasn’t been for a while. Jacob had a little Goldilocks problem, because someone else was staying in his place. So Ilana decides to burn it and go somewhere else inspired by a cloth with Anubis on it. The others carry the box through the jungle, and it looks a lot like those scenes of the Ark of the Covenant in the first Indiana Jones movie.
In yet another Jacob flashback, he’s sitting on a bench reading a book when John Locke falls out of a window behind him. Jacob walks over and touches him, which makes John open his eyes. Jacob apologizes for what happened,. Does this mean Jacob was brought Locke back to life more than once?
On the Island, Locke leads his people to the Oceanic 815 survivors’ original camp. Locke and Ben share a special moment next to the Hatch door, a remembrance of where they first met. Yes, things are getting as oddly romantic as that line suggests. Ben’s so sorry for pretending to see Jacob when he took Locke to the cabin, saying that Ben just wanted to impress Locke. Seriously, their relationship is identical to that of two 14-year-olds on their first awkward date.
The next flashback belongs to Sun as she remembers her wedding day with Jin. Actually, it’s another Jacob flashback, because he was their to give a blessing to the happy couple, saying that their love is very special and should not be taken for granted. Jacob speaks excellent Korean.
1977: Hurley is driving along with the Plutonium core of a hydrogen bomb in his van, but he comes to a sudden stop when he sees Sawyer, Kate and Juliet standing in the middle of the road looking not so happy. Hey, everyone’s finally back together!
Sawyer wants five minutes to talk to Jack which leads to a flashback for Jack where he’s performing surgery. He accidentally cuts the patient’s spinal cord and the fluid is pouring out. It’s the same story he told Kate way back in the “Pilot”! Christian is there to tell his son to stop and count to five so he’s not afraid.
After surgery, Jack gets angry when a vending machine won’t give him an Apollo Bar. He’s also pissed at his dad for embarrassing him in front of his surgical team. Christian leaves, and as you no doubt predicted, Jacob shows up to buy some candy of his own and give Jack his Apollo Bar.
Sawyer talks to Jack about destiny and second chances. He tells Jack that a con man killed his parents, and that happened in 1976, one year ago from where they are. So Sawyer could’ve left the Island and stopped it, but what’s done is done. Jack counters by saying that Locke was right along about how important the Island was for them and Jack came back because he’s sad things didn’t work out for Kate.
Since Sawyer can’t solve this problem with words, he uses his fists and engages in a kick-ass fight. Jack does OK, but Sawyer kicks him in the balls and proceeds to pummel him until he agrees to stop his stupid mission to change everything. Jack refuses, so Sawyer keeps punching until Juliet shows up to stop him. She thinks Jack is right, and when asked why, her only answer is that she changed her mind.
The actual reason is that she saw how Sawyer looked at Kate and she knows that everybody loves Kate and nobody loves her, so she just wants the future to change so Juliet never meets Sawyer and never has to lose him.
Flashback time for Juliet. She and her sister Rachel are little kids who are told that their parents are getting a divorce.
At the Swan Station, Kate patches up Jack’s wounds while Phil warns Radzinsky that Sayid is loose with a bomb. Alarms sound and Jack figures that the Incident is about to happen, so he and Kate go to change the future.
It’s time for Hurley’s flashback and it’s when he got out of prison the day before the Ajira 316 flight. He doesn’t want to leave, but he hails a cab, though Jacob is already in it. Jacob invites Hurley into the cab.
Jacob wants to know why Hugo won’t go back to the Island. He says it’s because he’s cursed, but Jacob thinks getting to see the people he loved isn’t a curse, it’s a blessing. Before leaving the car, Jacob tells Hurley all the flight info and leaves his guitar case in the cab for Hurley to take on the plane.
Jack gets the bomb from Sayid, who tells him exactly what to do. Sayid seems to be dying slowly, but Jack is convinced that everything will be better after he blows up the Island.
On Locke’s journey in the future, Richard leads them to the foot of the four-toed statue because that’s where Jacob lives. Is Jacob like the old woman who lived in a shoe?
That night, Sun wants to know what happened to the statue. Ben says it was like that when he got there, and Sun doesn’t believe him, and he agrees that she probably shouldn’t. Ben has given up trying to lie. Richard doesn’t like that Ben is going too, but since Locke is the leader, there’s nothing he can do.
Richard opens a secret panel in the statue’s foot that leads to Jacob’s hideout. Locke and Ben go inside, and Locke gives Ben a knife, promising that everything will be better once Jacob is dead.
In 1977, Miles provides the smartest theory yet – what if Jack isn’t going to prevent the Incident with the bomb, but cause it? They see Phil drive up to the Swan Station and Sawyer and Juliet decide to go with the old mantra, “Live together, die alone,” so they team up to help Jack.
Jack nears the construction and he’s spotted, which starts yet another gunfight. The DHARMA van drives up to provide back-up for Jack. Sawyer takes Phil hostage to stop the fight and let Jack do what he needs to do.
Jack takes the bomb, looks around and throws it down the hole. And then…nothing. Looks like Jughead was a dud. But what does happen is the electromagnetism kicks in and all the metal construction equipment gets sucked into the hole. Dr. Chang is pinned down by Miles saves him. Phil is impaled by a metal rod. And Juliet gets knocked into the hole by some metal chains.
For this last one, Sawyer grabs her at the last minute and tries to pull her up, but he can’t quite shake her loose., After plenty of hemming and hawing, she says goodbye, lets go, and Juliet falls deep into the hole.
In the future, Ilana dnd Bram arrive at the statue. She asks for “Ricardus,” only he goes by Richard now. She asks him what lies in the shadow of the statue and he responds in Latin. That’s when she opens the box and reveals what’s inside.
It’s John Locke’s dead body.
No, seriously, it’s like the exact same reveal as last season, only now it makes even less sense. If that’s Locke, then who’s inside the foot with Ben?
The answer to that question is revealed when Jacob applauds the man for finding his loophole. The man currently in possession of Locke’s body is Jacob’s friend from the opening scene. That would be very cool if we had any idea who the heck that guy was in the first place.
Jacob tries to talk him out of it, but Ben only wants to know why he wasn’t special enough to ever get to see Jacob. Jacob doesn’t really care about this whiny little man, so Ben stabs and kills Jacob, rolling him into the fire. Before he dies, Jacob says, “They’re coming.”
Which takes us back to 1977, where Juliet is still alive at the bottom of the hole. She sees the bomb next to her and gets pissed, so she picks up a rock and hits it. Then she hits it again. And again and then…KABOOM!!!
The screen fills with white as the bomb explodes and…that’s it. That’s the end, and I’m calling B.S. right now. We all knew the bomb was going to off, but we wanted to know what happens after. This feels like a really cheap way to end the season without actually explaining anything, just leaving it all in cliffhanger form.
What happens after the explosion? Who was the man with Jacob now possessing Locke’s body? Who’s coming? I really don’t want to wait until 2010 to find out.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)