Evidence (Debbie Chang)
I believe that in order to be hot, you’ve got to be able to rock a wide variety of different looks, from formal wear, to casual, to naked. You can’t hide behind your clothes, but at the same time, you can’t expect that just having toned abs is going to get you into the Hot Hall of Fame.
So with that, I present you with three pieces of evidence.
Boyfriend really knows how to work a suit.
Dude looks fiiiiiine in a casual outfit.
The shirt comes off, and Jason is still working it. No weird bulges or strange patches of hair. He is definitely hot.
Evidence (Henry Jenkins)
Let’s examine this whole Bachelor myth. What are the requirements for being The Bachelor?
You have to have a responsible job. Well, no, you don’t. Actually you just have to have a job where you make a lot of money. Jason does something in the financial sector, right? “An account executive in estate and legacy planning?” What is that, really? Like selling time shares or something? You know these reality show bios. If an unemployed college kid on one of these shows could say he once wrote a letter to the president as part of a second grade class assignment they’d probably call him a political consultant. Anyway, the financial sector? I’ve kinda got bad news about that. While Mr. Responsible was off gallivanting around the countryside going on fantasy dates the entire economy was collapsing. There were probably people ringing his phone off the hook while they stood on the side of a ledge, but he couldn’t come to the phone because he was hanging out by the pool at the mansion. Yeah, that’s hot. John McCain could stop in the middle of a presidential election to fly home and deal with this crisis. Jason flew home all right. So he could shop at REI. Way to pitch in and do your part for America, Jason. Little Lord Fauntleroy is not a responsible career guy and that is not hot.
You have to be great looking. No doubt: Jason has a nice body. Just ask him to take his shirt off – he’ll be happy to show you. He’s the kinda guy who would probably take off his shirt at a baseball game when it wasn’t even that hot out. The guy probably undresses and gets in a hospital smock if he’s stopping by to pick up his bill. And he has that big smile. What would you call it? It’s kind of a “cute little boy smile,” right? A lot of women think it would be nice to wake up in the morning and see a cute little boy smiling at them, but when that cute little boy is your boyfriend and he needs you to get up so you can make him French toast shaped like dinosaurs? Not hot. Jason struts around like Fabio but he’s actually kind of boyish and that is not hot.
You have to be adventurous and athletic. From what I understand Jason’s actually an incredible athlete. He’s been practicing his golf swing for a long time. What girl wouldn’t get revved up watching him parade around in his little uniform? Plaid pants pulled high on the belly? One of those little golfing beanies? Ranks right up there with grease paint and shoulder pads, doesn’t it? Just think that the future Mrs. Mesnick will get to follow around behind him carrying his clubs for 20 years. That’s a lot of weight. You’ve got to think about whether you really want that. Twelve holes at the country club goes a little bit slower than it does on the putt putt course. Jason’s golf pants are probably taller than he is and that is not hot.
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