This week on Hart of Dixie, it’s Christmas in Bluebell, so I assumed it would be unnaturally blue. Nope, just hot. Wade and George embark on a journey to get a Christmas tree and find themselves in jail, and Zoe and Lemon go head-to-head with their mini-me counterparts in a beauty pageant. And, oh yeah, this episode is sad.

Miss Cinnamon Cider Beauty Pageant

The name of the pageant is the Miss Cinnamon Cider Beauty Pageant. It sounds like product placement and … maybe it is, now that I think about it. I don’t know, I’ve never heard of Cinnamon Cider. Is it another Southern thing? Well, the pageant is a tradition in Lemon’s family, in any case.

Lemon has mama drama and offloads that on to her sister, Magnolia. Magnolia must win. I hope we get to meet/greet her mother one day just so we can get an explanation for these terrible names she decides to give her children. We flashback and meet her and teenaged Lemon!

Meanwhile, Zoe and Lemon are at war, with mini-mes as the troops: Rose for Zoe, and Magnolia for Lemon.

Zoe must work with Rose on her pageantry. Talent montage! Rose reminds me of a teenaged Scout. I counted a trumpet, a hula hoop, foot sock puppets, roller-blading, clog dancing… But she is a talented singer. Magnolia’s talent is being Scarlet O’Hara, which is less talent and more annoying and obnoxious. But I’m in the minority of people who actually hate Gone with the Wind — so sorry.

The two use their mini-me counterparts to win a war of one-upmanship and intense dislike. Each abusing the system, they attempt bribes and such with the board. By the way: that patient, Zoe, does not have bronchitis. I have bronchitis, and it does not sound like that.

Flashbacks! Lemon has some serious mommy issues, especially when it is revealed that Lemon knows where her mama lives, a mere 30 miles from Bluebell. By the way, is Lemon’s mother Andy from Dawson’s Creek? I totally think she is! I love when the WB veterans pop up on The CW. Christmas has indeed come early.

Lemon’s known for a year, when George was away in New York and she was all alone. But luckily, Lavon Hayes has been recently elected as the town Mayor and is there to help her. I guess we know how these two got together then.

It’s Ain’t Chrismakkuh, But It Will Do

Wade is commissioned by George to get a giant tree for the town. Because this is Wade, he gets the Charlie Brown Christmas trees of Christmas trees. Is it going to be one of those Christmas episodes? I hope so!

So Wade knows a guy who knows a girl who knows a tree farmer. But this person doesn’t like Wade because of the sleeping-with-his-daughter bit. Wade and George get arrested stealing one of his trees. While in the jail, Wade finally calls George on his crap by dangling Zoe on a thread while he’s engaged. I forget if George registers that Wade likes Zoe, but George goes into a nice monologue about how this is wrong and declares his eternal love Lemon. If he were a tool, he would leave them right now. But he’s Lavon, so fail. Lemon seeks comfort in Lavon again, but he flatly tells her that he can’t do that — she should tell George, since she is marrying George. I’ve just summarized like fifteen minutes of the show in a paragraph. Boo-yah.

Cut to the pageant, where Zoe and Lemon let their mini-mes do their initial routine. It’s not a big deal, surprisingly, and I don’t even think we find out who was crowned winner. Zoe, upset about the flirting with George, wants to tell George off, but ends up doing it through Rose’s almost beaux. George and Zoe agree not to spend time with one another. Wade puts the moves on Zoe, but she says rain check. Sorry, shippers!

I like Christmas episodes that are somber in nature, and this was probably the most bittersweet end to Hart of Dixie. I think it balanced the tone well so the characters and the show did not get too kooky or melodramatic.

Emily E. Steck
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of The CW)

Photo AlbumHart of Dixie – 1.10 “Hairdos & Holidays”

Emily E. Steck

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV