Rachael Kirkconnell addressed her intimacy “dry spell” and how it intersected with her four-year relationship with The Bachelor lead Matt James. On October 16, 2025, during Hallie Batchelder’s Extra Dirty podcast, she said, “I feel like a virgin again,” adding, “I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. It’s been years.” She also described why physical attraction alone isn’t enough for her right now.
What Rachael actually said on Extra Dirty
Kirkconnell emphasized that her chosen pace is intentional and rooted in needing emotional safety: “I can’t just give it up to just anyone. I want it to be special.” She also explained that she may identify as “demisexual,” clarifying that someone can be “really attractive,” but “if they’re a terrible person or have the worst personality ever,” that would end any interest in intimacy.
She further noted that casual hookups aren’t appealing after such a long gap: “It’s like almost like I can’t just hook up with someone random at this point because it’s been so long that I want it to be incredible.”
Since the split, Kirkconnell has described herself as “chronically single,” adding she hasn’t “been on a single date” and isn’t using dating apps, though she stressed she’s not judging anyone who does. The remarks came nine months after the public breakup.
View this post on Instagram
How this reflects on The Bachelor era with Matt James
Kirkconnell and James ended their relationship in January 2025 after four years of dating. Before their breakup, they discussed getting engaged and starting a family. Her podcast comments also renewed attention on James’ previously stated approach to intimacy on the show, including his 2021 off-camera remarks that he did not sleep with finalists in the “fantasy suites,” using that time for conversation instead.
Cast & key names mentioned
- Rachael Kirkconnell — The Bachelor alum who says, “It’s been years,” and who described feeling “like a virgin again.”
- Matt James — The Bachelor Season 25 lead; he and Kirkconnell broke up in January 2025 after four years of dating. They had discussed engagement and starting a family before the split.
- Hallie Batchelder — Host of the Extra Dirty podcast episode (October 16, 2025), where Kirkconnell shared the above quotes.
- Michelle Young and Brianna Springs — Finalists referenced in resurfaced discussion of James’ “fantasy suites” stance from 2021.
Context, timeline, and what’s next
Kirkconnell’s comments arrive months after the January 2025 breakup and clarify that her abstinence predates the split. The couple’s four-year arc—from their 2021 connection through private talks of an engagement and a future family—ended without a proposal. Her current stance, including the potential “demisexual” label and focus on an emotional bond, suggests she is waiting for a deeper relationship before resuming a sex life.
Nothing in her remarks suggests a sudden reversal on dating; rather, the comments reinforce a deliberate reset. The combination of a long “dry spell,” a desire for intimacy that feels “special,” and a reluctance to date casually indicates she is likely to continue prioritizing emotional alignment over convenience. For fans of The Bachelor and those following the pair’s post-show journey, the update underscores that the adjustment period after a public breakup can be longer—and more complex—than timelines suggest.
Rachael Kirkconnell on sex life — takeaways
- “I feel like a virgin again.”
- “I haven’t had sex way longer than you think. It’s been years.”
- She and Matt James broke up in January 2025 after four years of dating.
- The two discussed getting engaged and starting a family before their breakup.
- She may identify as “demisexual,” and won’t “just give it up to just anyone.”
- She describes herself as “chronically single” since the split and is not on dating apps.
View this post on Instagram
With a collective experience in film analysis and entertainment journalism, our team, comprised of avid movie buffs, has always been on the frontline of exploring cinematic universes, from the enchanting realms of Disney to the action-packed scenes of the MCU.
Our passion has led us to exclusive interviews with notable figures, early access, and active participation in the industry.
Recognized by the press, we dive deep into various genres, including drama, cartoons, comedy, and foreign films, always eager to bring fresh insights to our readers.
Connect with us or explore our journey to learn more about our adventures in unraveling the magic of the big screen.
