Ali Fedotowsky begins her search for love tonight as The Bachelorette kicks off its sixth season by introducing the 25 men who will compete for her heart. And based on the press release and previews, it looks like the new season features an interesting mix of backgrounds and a lot of colorful personalities. Get to know Ali‘s men HERE. Read more »

At some point during the last season of The Bachelor, Jake was serving up so much cheese and whine that I just couldn‘t not top it off with some healthy helpings of actual wine: and so The Bachelor: On the Wings of FUN! Drinking Game was born. Well, it‘s that time again. The Bachelorette premieres tonight, which means groups of ladies and sexuality-confident men will gather across the nation to watch as 25 earnest(ly ridiculous) men attempt to woo new Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky, and those dedicated Americans want (nay, NEED!) an interactive game that will keep them in on the action of reality romance while also dulling the requisite brain-ache that comes with two straight hours of second-hand embarrassment.Want the pre-show scoop? Here‘s everything you need to know about The Bachelorette Season 6 Premiere.I have that game. This IS that game, and it is awesome. So let‘s all play it together! (And by "together," I mean you in your living room with all your friends, and me alone at my computer while I recap. Sniff.) Please, honor my stoic recapping solitude by busting out this game for every episode and making it a true Bachelorette PARTY! every Monday night.Behold, The Bachelorette: Ali-coholics Anonymous Drinking Game:  Read more »

Welcome back, Bachelorette-heads! It‘s been a long year since we lost the infectiously peppy Jillian Harris as our Bachelorette and traded ‘er in for the -- let‘s just say, divisive -- Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi. If you vowed last season to never watch again, and yet here you are, wrapped up in the drama before it‘s even really begun, take heart: you are not alone. Dull the pain, enhance the joy: play the BuddyTV Bachelorette Ali-coholic Drinking Game!But this is the best possible kind of relapse. We‘re starting semi-fresh with last season‘s short-straw-drawer, Ali Fedotowsky, who‘s looking for her shot at fame, pretty dresses, fantastical dates and, oh yeah, LOVE. The promise of ample absurdity this season, despite the even ampler spoilers (you know where to get ‘em), is just too good to resist. And, spoilers be damned, together we will milk this Bachelorette season for as much fun as is humanly possible. Or die (inside) trying. What else were you going to do this summer -- read? (Oh wait, I guess you‘re doing that right now. Way to go!) In a whirlwind of sappy intro videos, romantic tokens that would make even Hallmark gag, and 25 guys who share about five first names, tonight‘s premiere was all about first impressions, second chances and -- for eight of the 25 -- swinging for a third strike before the cocktail party‘s even over.  Read more »

The sixth season opener of The Bachelorette didn‘t really break new ground, but I‘ve got to hand it to the producers for giving us such an eccentric group of bachelors to root for and poke fun at--at the same time. In the first episode alone, we witnessed some pretty weird antics from some of Ali‘s suitors, including a pee-pee dance, a cubic zirconium ring proposal and a flip off the top of the limo. But those are actually pretty tame compared to the other things we saw on the show, which really makes you wonder the things men will do just to get a girl‘s attention. Here are my picks for worst first impressions of the night:  Read more »

Outdoorsman Kyle Higgins, 26, of Colorado didn‘t get a rose on Monday night‘s Bachelorette premiere, but he says he has no regrets about going on the show and trying to woo Ali Fedotowsky.Kyle spoke with the media this morning about his short time with Ali, plus his inside perspective on some of the more colorful characters we met, including Justin "Rated R" Rego and Craig M. from Toronto, who both rubbed viewers -- and the other guys -- the wrong way. Check out the highlights of Kyle‘s post-Bachelorette chat. Read more »

Check out these videos, courtesy of ABC, for more from The Bachelorette season 6 premiere, including:The always-depressing "Diaries of the Departed" with the eliminated menA deleted scene that explains why one of those guys got eliminatedTwo highlight videos from Monday‘s episodeAn interview with the Bachelorette herself, Ali FedotowskyReady to move on to Week 2? Check out these photos from the upcoming Monday, May 31 Bachelorette episode in which Ali and 12 of the guys hit the beach ... some in shorter swimwear than others! Read more »

Next week on The Bachelorette, we‘ll watch as two of the remaining 17 guys (Frank and Jesse) will get one-on-one dates with Ali, while another 12 will hit the beach for a sexy charity photo shoot.How did she decide which guys to keep around? Entertainment Tonight got the answer from Ali Fedotowsky, plus more hints on whether she‘s happily engaged or not, and why she decided to become The Bachelorette in the first place. Check out the video below.Plus: Watch the teaser video for Monday‘s beach party episode, plus another interview with Ali from the ABC Upfronts in which she talks about what she learned from her whole experience on The Bachelorette.  Read more »

Get, ready, Bachelorette fans: the awkwardness of Monday night‘s premiere is about to be put to shame.Next week, Ali and 12 of her suitors will hit the beach, where some will don tiny Speedos to be photographed for a charity swimsuit calendar. One question: If it‘s "for a good cause," then why are my eyes burning?! You can also find photos from the shoot below. If you Nair, err, dare. (Okay, okay, I‘ll save the rest of my Speedo jokes until Monday night‘s recap. Get ready!) Plus: check out a clip from ET of Ali‘s one-on-one date with Frank in next week‘s episode. If you‘ve been following my coverage this week, you‘ll know that I don‘t trust this manic gremlin-in-glasses so I‘m happy to see that his date looks like it will be quite a snore. Save the good stuff for Chris L., Ali! Read more »

The competition heats up as the 17 remaining bachelors take advantage of every opportunity to score points with Ali Fedotowsky on the second episode of The Bachelorette season 6. Tonight, one contestant interrupts another bachelor‘s time and tries to control his urge to kiss Ali in front of all the other men while another contestant confronts the other bachelors for calling him "dangerous" behind his back.Catch Up on Last Week‘s Recap: Rated R For Ridiculous  Read more »

As we move on to the second episode of The Bachelorette, we learn just a little bit more about this season‘s bachelors and see how they fare in Ali‘s heart. There are a couple of guys who came out on top tonight (the winners) while there are others (the losers) who just don‘t have what it takes to win the viewers over or possibly Ali‘s heart. Here are my picks: Read more »

Tonight on The Bachelorette: Ali takes two guys on exciting individual "rose or goes" dates, and twelve guys go on pants-off beach photo shoot -- for charity.17 guys remain after last week‘s premiere, and only 14 will continue through to next week. Who will make the cut?For the short and sweet version of tonight‘s episode, check out our picks for the Winners and Losers of The Bachelorette Week 2. For the fantastically drawn-out version, keep reading! Read more »

It‘s been a very busy week for The Bachelor-Bachelorette franchise with all the news and interviews surfacing on the internet. Gia Allemand has a new love,  Jesse Csincsak spills some beans behind Ali Fedotowski‘s dates and host Chris Harrison weighs in on the Ali‘s suitors. More on this week‘s Bachelor roundup after the jump. Read more »

Do you have trouble remembering what dates correspond to which days of the week? Always find yourself forgetting Deanna Pappas‘s birthday? Looking for a way to spice up your cubicle wall that says "I‘m into mostly naked men AND vicarious charity donations"? Well, ABC‘s got the calendar for you! Last night on The Bachelorette, Ali and 12 of her suitors hit the beach to pose for a swimsuit calendar, and now YOU can own this masterpiece of mankini man-meat for only $24.95. The 16-month calendar is now for sale through Warner Brothers.During the episode, Ali and the guys couldn‘t stop patting themselves on the backs for showing off their parts "for a good cause," even though the cause was never mentioned on the show. Now, the WB store reveals that $3 of each $25 purchase will be split between Global Green USA and the Oceanic Preservation Society, two environmental non-profits. Each calendar comes with "inside stats" about the guys competing for Ali‘s affections and is marked with the birthdays and anniversary dates of famous Bachelor and Bachelorette cast members. Read more »

In the description for Monday‘s Bachelorette episode, we learn that some of the guys will join Ali on a group date to shoot a Barenaked Ladies music video, in which each man gets to share a steamy scene with Ali. "But nothing compares to one man‘s outrageous bedroom scene that ends with a passionate kiss," says the description from ABC, "which is so hot, it sends one of Ali‘s frontrunners into a jealous tailspin."Which man gets the bedroom scene, and which frontrunner flips out? Today‘s Bachelorette sneak peek shows it all: Read more »

With two crazy one-on-one dates, a skin-bearing beach photo shoot and plenty of man-drama to go around, this week‘s Bachelorette episode was packed to the brim--but that doesn‘t mean we‘ve had enough!Check out these videos from Monday‘s episode, including more from Frank‘s Hollywood date, two key moments for Jonathan and Ty, and the Diaries of the Departed, which includes the now infamous hothead Craig M. Read more »

Canadian Craig McKinnon made quite a splash during his time on The Bachelorette, but not in the way that most reality dating contestants hope for. The big-haired 34-year-old came into the show hurling insults ("jokes," he says) at his competition at every opportunity, and didn‘t let up until meek weatherman Jonathan, fed up with the bully‘s antics, approached Bachelorette Ali and told her that Craig was a "dangerous" personality. Seeing that Craig was more interested in roasting his roommates than in starting a relationship with her, Ali sent him packing at the end of Week 2.Craig spoke to the media this morning about his brief and bold stint as a Bachelorette contestant, why he picked on Jonathan so relentlessly and how he feels about his portrayal on the show. Here‘s what he had to say. Read more »

Things are about to get a little more interesting as The Bachelorette moves on to its third episode. Not only will there be fierce competition among the 14 remaining contestants, some secrets will also be revealed. More details about tonight‘s installment after the jump.  Read more »

Rumor has it that Bachelor Pad -- the new Mike Fleiss late summer series that pits past Bachelor(ette) contestants against each other in a Survivor/Big Brother competition (with a little romance thrown in because hey, it‘s still The Bachelor) -- started filming today in Los Angeles.Which Bachelor stars moved into the Pad to compete for cash? Two similar lists from sources outside ABC may reveal the identities of the 20 contestants: Read more »

Hey, Bachelorette buckaroos! Before I get into tonight‘s man-meaty episode, a little shop talk: instead of slaving over a lengthy recap every Monday night after two hours of rose ‘n romance reality television, I‘m moving to a short-and-sweet, high-and-low night-of piece (which I‘m calling Bachelorette-Bites -- and when the show is particularly painful, we can take out that hyphen), and your full, snark-filled recap will come in the am. The change frees me up to tweet to my cold, dead heart‘s content with you all during the show (hit me up at @BTVBachelorette!), not to mention gives me a full night‘s rest to dream up all my amazing jabs about the guys! It‘s really a win-win-lose. (Where you and I both win, and the guys on The Bachelorette lose. As they should.)So that‘s that. Now, your Bachelorette bites for the night: Who cried? Who died -- of embarrassment? Who got sent home and who, against all odds and his own efforts to look as terrible as possible, stayed? Read more »

Another episode of The Bachelorette has aired and that means it‘s time for another round of this weekly column, The Winners and Losers of The Bachelorette.  Tonight‘s episode is all about the men going that extra mile just to impress Ali Fedotowsky. Some bachelors have stepped up and went beyond the perimeters of the mansion to impress Ali while others have been given opportunity to connect with her but failed to take advantage of their time. So who screwed up and who totally came out on top? Check out my picks after the jump. Read more »

The third episode of The Bachelorette season 6 has certainly left viewers with mixed feelings about Ali Fedotowsky‘s suitors. While some have emerged as winners, others have made themselves look like losers. Here‘s my take on last night‘s episode and here‘s what other reality stars have to say: Read more »

Last night on The Bachelorette, Ali invited the Barenaked Ladies to put some of the guys through a jealousy exam as she groped and kissed them, and some of them did not pass. Meanwhile, Roberto got one step closer to making Ali fall for him, and Justin became the official pariah of the house.Want the full rundown? Read our recap: The Bachelorette: ‘Mr. Jekyll ... and Hyde?‘Check out videos of two key moments from last night‘s episode of The Bachelorette with Roberto and Frank, plus after-interviews with her three eliminated guys, and one deleted scene showing a whole different side to lawyer Craig. Read more »

Well, that was two-hours of straight-up awkward, wasn‘t it?Last night on The Bachelorette, we saw a wide range of traits in Ali‘s remaining suitors, from Jonathan‘s debilitating anxiety about kissing to Justin‘s self-sabotaging sneakiness--both attracting the ridicule of the other guys, and both resulting in lonely man-tears. The Awkward Train really left the station when Hunter got his one-on-one date with Ali, but it wasn‘t all bad: Roberto, Chris L. and Kirk managed to make a connection with the Bachelorette without making anybody--us, Ali, the other men--recoil in disgust. That‘s a win in the Bachelorette book!Speaking of books: Yes, I know it‘s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. But Ty doesn‘t--though that didn‘t stop him from making the reference!For the condensed versions of last night‘s Bachelorette episode, check out these exclusive BuddyTV offerings:‘Bachelorette-Bites‘: Jonathan Cries, Justin Gets CrucifiedThe Winners and Losers of Bachelorette Week 3 For the full details and color commentary, read on! Read more »

During Monday night‘s edition of The Bachelorette, confirmed bachelor Ken (of "Ken and Barbie" fame) popped in during commercial breaks to drop some leopard-printed, ascot-donning knowledge bombs on us about love and dating. Because that‘s why we all watch The Bachelorette--to LEARN!Below, check out his romance tips for the Bachelorette contestants (and all hopeful bachelors everywhere). After the videos, I share my own helpful pointers for the guys. Because they need all the help they can get, apparently. Read more »

By now, you‘ve either read Reality Steve‘s spoilers for this season from top to bottom, or you‘ve build for yourself the most impressive Bachelorette-blinders in the world, given that you‘re still here at my Bachelorette page, reading an article that starts with "Spoilers."Related: Partial List of Bachelor Pad Contestants RevealedIf you fall into the latter category, may I just say: Bravo. And also: be warned, I am about to discuss those spoilers as though it ain‘t no thang, because they‘ve been out for a good month, and they play into our actual topic at hand: Astrochicks just released the names of the four final Bachelor candidates, citing their source as a woman who recently applied to be on next season. See the identities of the men (all from Ali‘s current Bachelorette season) and get ready to talk your likes, loathes and theories about their chance at becoming The Bachelor:  Read more »

Hunter Wagner, the 28-year-old internet account executive from San Antonio, TX, started off strong with Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky thanks to his quick wit and a cute ukelele serenade. But things went downhill in Week 3 when Hunter, sans ukelele, had a low-key, low-chemistry one-on-one with Ali that clued her in that she saw this sweet but reserved Texan more as a friend than a fiance.Read the Recap: The Bachelorette Week 3: ‘Mr. Jekyll ... and Hyde?‘Hunter spoke to the media this morning about his experience on The Bachelorette, how he felt about Justin "Rated R" Rego stealing his date-thunder and why his one-on-one with Ali ended up being so awkward. Here‘s what he had to say. Read more »

Ex-Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars contestant Jake Pavelka will jump the fence from ABC to Lifetime this summer, at least for a day. Pavelka has clinched a guest role on Drop Dead Diva that seems (perhaps literally) made just for him. People reports:"Pavelka will guest star as Toby Davlin, a suitor on Finding the One, a dating show whose producer is being sued for "intentionally inflicting emotional harm" when Toby spurns one bachelorette for another."Jake begins shooting his scenes on June 18, and his episode, called "Good Grief," is slated to air on August 22. Read more »

As if we haven‘t seen enough singing and guitar playing guys on The Bachelorette, this week‘s episode ups the ante by featuring even more suitors serenading Ali Fedotowsky. And it doesn‘t necessarily add points in her book. So whose song flopped, and whose lines successfully won Ali‘s heart? Check out my picks after the jump. Read more »

Want to know what reality stars from The Bachelorette have been up to these days? Check out their tweets--which range from their reactions about this week‘s episode of The Bachelorette to little updates about their latest projects. Read more »

Because if they do, this episode of The Bachelorette would win them ALL. Forever and ever. There is just too much awesome to cover in our Bachelorette bites tonight, but never fear, because tomorrow‘s full recap will include every ... single ... excruciatingly uncomfortable ... moment. And song. And Jonathan facial expression. And terrible tattoo. Tonight, we must simply try to navigate, process and understand what it is that we just saw. Oh, the horror. Oh, the (in)humanity. Oh, The Bachelorette -- you are SO GOOD this season!Let‘s run down the highs, aka Kasey (Get it? Because he is hiiiigh if he thinks that tattoo was a good idea) and lows, aka Jonathan (Haha, get it again? He‘s short) of tonight‘s episode, Bachelorette week 4, when Ali took the guys to the Big Apple, and together these 11 men out-crazied all the bums in New York City: Read more »

Last night‘s episode of The Bachelorette was the best ever. Like, they might as well just shut the whole thing down now, because it will never get any better than that two-hour horror-and-delight-mixed-together-in-a-delicious-schadenfreude-cocktail. It‘s now the morning after, and I am STILL drunk on the potency of Kasey‘s terrible, terrible decisions. So, before the hangover kicks in and this show gets back to being about looooove, let‘s recap week 4 of The Bachelorette 6 with Ali Fedotowsky, the episode henceforth to be known as Mike Fleiss‘s Magnum Opus of Uncomfortable. But first: let‘s avoid redundancy, yes? Last night I spilled my gleeful beans about the highs and lows of the episode in my wee recap, Bachelorette-Bites: Do They Give Out Emmys for Awkwardness? So be sure to read that, but only if you enjoy having FUN. Now, it‘s time for a different sort of recap. In honor of the poor, helpless, pathetic and hilarious fallen weatherman, in this recap we are going to play a little game called, "And how did that make Jonathan feel?"And the game starts ... now.  Read more »

Usually, the two-hour running time of a Bachelorette episode is about 1.9 too many hours, given the amount of substantive action that happens on this show. But last night‘s Bachelorette episode, which I have boldly (and rightly) proclaimed to be the best Bachelorette episode ever made, could have been two more hours long, and I would have loved it, as long as those two extra hours were mostly made up of Kasey transcribing his brain-crazy into spoken words, and Jonathan transcribing his into facial contortions. We will never get those two extra hours, but at least we have these Bachelorette Youtube clips from ABC to prolong our love just a little bit longer. Check out a deleted scene starring Kasey, the weekly Diaries of the Departed starring Jonathan and Hot Jesse, and two key moments from last night‘s episode, including the one you‘ll want to play over and over again: Kasey‘s song. Plus: next week, the men write poems about their feelings and recite them to Ali. And, as the sneak peek below illustrates, it‘s just as forced and awkward as you‘d expect. Read more »

So, in the grand scheme of all the Bachelorette craziness this week, apparently there was still enough room left for this to become a thing (via TV Squad):"Viewers at home may have noticed that, for much of his hike, Justin was seen wobbling down the street on his right foot, with his left leg elevated in a cast. But just as he made his way up the driveway, the camera briefly showed him using his left foot instead. To add more confusion to the mix, in the next shot, Justin was shown using his right foot again as normal."As you astute viewers at home will recall, TV Squad is referring back to Bachelorette Week 3, when Justin "Rated R" Rego, the "entertainment wrestler," cripple-walked to Ali‘s house without an invitation. And now there‘s a CONSPIRACY afoot! (Get it? A-foot.) Did Justin fake his foot being broken? Is he dumb enough to forget which foot he pretended to break? IS EVERYTHING ON THIS SHOW A LIE? Well, to that last question, yes, but to the other stuff, duh, no. Read more »

For this rumor‘s resurgence, as with most things in life, I blame Ryan Seacrest.This morning on his radio show, Seacrest spoke with ABC honcho Steve McPherson about the possibility that Kate Gosselin might ever be The Bachelorette. He told the Seamonster it was a "great" idea. Then Ryan talked to Bachelor creator Mike Fleiss, who popped his head up from out of his swimming pool full of gold coins long enough to tell Ryan, "I guess it‘s kinda interesting. I‘ve never thought about it. Seriously, It would have to be a special edition of the Bachelorette. I wouldn‘t want to jump the shark."Let‘s not even get INTO that last part where Mike Fleiss pretends his show hasn‘t always lived high up in the TV-air, forever mid-jump of the proverbial shark, but let‘s instead get to the meat of the matter: Kate Gosselin will not be The Bachelorette. Ever. These men are just saying things for the sake of saying them, and for the sake of untrue gossip column rumors to pop up with their names inside them, so they can get their self-referential Google Alerts on their iPhones later, and smile. So everyone (including you, MSNBC, who are usually too good to take anything that Life & Style says seriously) just needs to calm down.  Read more »

Read no further if you don‘t want to hear spoiler straight-talk about this season of The Bachelorette and its final outcome, courtesy once again of one Reality Steve and his reliable (so far, anyway) inside sources.So: Who does Ali Fedotowsky choose?Here‘s what Steve says he knows:  Read more »

This week‘s episode of The Bachelorette brings the nine remaining bachelors to Iceland where some of them earn a place in Ali‘s heart while others find themselves walking on thin ice. So who scored some points and who‘s out on the cold? Check out my picks after the jump. Read more »

The latest shocker on The Bachelor might as well be the most predictable news on ABC‘s reality dating franchise. According OK! magazine, last season‘s love searcher Jake Pavelka and fiance Vienna Girardi have called it quits-- officially putting an end to their short-lived engagement.  Read more »

Want to know what reality stars from The Bachelor-ette are talking about tonight? Check out their tweets--which range from their reactions about this week‘s episode of The Bachelorette to the controversial breakup of Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi.   Read more »

This week on The Bachelorette, Ali and her final nine traveled to Iceland to explore the icy sites ... and each other‘s souls. (Ha, ha. RIGHT.) Anyway, it was really boring. At least after last week‘s tattoo-terrorizing, weatherman-weeping magnum opus of uncomfortable. Two more guys saw the ugly end of the rose (the thorns) and seven got one step closer to marrying Ali--or at least flying to a more temperate climate. Here‘s what went down: Read more »

I hope you put the kiddies to bed early and turned the lights down low, because with its freezing cold temperatures, adventures on glaciers and in underground caves, mold horror stories, doctor visits, emotional breakdowns by crazy men, and so many warm bodies entirely covered in bulky Gor-Tex snowsuits and furry hats, last night‘s episode of The Bachelorette in Iceland was almost TOO SEXY for TV! Iceland? More like STEAM-land, am I right?I‘m doing things a little differently today, because last night‘s episode was, for all its overwhelming sexiness, pretty uneventful. So:For the episode recap, check out Bachelorette-Bites: Of Ice and Men.To relive all of last night‘s sexiest moments, read on!Honorable Mention, at right: We got to come along when Justin "Rated R" Rego decided to get his smelly foot-cast off, and watch as the doctor pried it off his leg. Thanks, ABC!  Read more »

Clearly, I already covered all the big notes from last night‘s Bachelorette episode in my episode recap, Of Ice and Men (sorry, John Steinbeck!) and my list of the 10 Sexiest Moments in Iceland (so many snowsuits, SO LITTLE TIME!), but there are also some important questions that the show left unanswered, such as:What happened in Kasey‘s past relationships that made him this way? (BTW, if you were ever in a past relationship with Kasey, please leave a comment with a way to reach you. We should talk.)How do you say "fair white maiden" in Icelandic?And what designs does Chris N. think Kasey should cover up his stupid tattoo with?Luckily, ABC has released these Bachelorette Youtube videos that answer all these questions, and more! Read more »

After confirming her breakup from Bachelor fiance Jake Pavelka just yesterday, Vienna Girardi has already sold her story to Star Magazine, in which she reveals the reasons behind the split. (Apparently the reason "We met on The Bachelor" just isn‘t sufficient anymore.)And, in another shocker in this already shocking tale, all of the reasons are Jake‘s fault and make him sound like a terribly confused man:"We haven‘t been intimate in months now. More than four months. At first his excuse was that he was fasting. The second excuse was that he didn‘t feel like it. And the third excuse was that he said that he felt that I wouldn‘t understand that he wants to wait until marriage, even though I told him I‘d support him. Then the last excuse was that we fight so much that I push him away. I was like, really--which excuse is it? I literally have been living six months with this guy who won‘t be intimate with me!" Read more »

I doubt I‘m the only one who hoped that The Bachelor‘s Jake and Vienna would announce their break-up in a dignified, mutually respectful way, independently retreat to their homes to recover, and leave it at that. If we can‘t believe in love on The Bachelor, can‘t we at least believe in basic human decency and the triumph of a person‘s last remaining shard of dignity over the temptation of money and publicity? No, of course we cannot! That‘s not allowed in Bachelor land. And I‘m a dreamer and a fool for thinking so. But I‘d rather be a dreamer than a ... whatever Jake and Vienna are these days.I just wanted to get that out of the way before we put on our acid-repellent brain-boots and once again sift through the toxic pool that is the Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi Bachelor break-up with this basic, purely curious question in mind: what is going on here?To make the "he said/she said" sifting a little easier, here is a side-by-side comparison of Jake and Vienna‘s tabloid covers and claims about their controversial break-up: Read more »

In his conference call with the media this morning, now infamous Bachelorette reject Kasey Kahl, who got a wrist tattoo (but not a rose) claimed that he tries to stay away from the blogs--which is probably a good idea, given how much fun I had making fun of him during his time on The Bachelorette.All jokes aside about his improv pop songs, heart tattoos and many tears, Kasey had an admirably positive attitude about his whole Bachelorette experience, despite his humiliating send-off on an Icelandic glacier. What does he think of his Bachelorette-inspired tattoo now? Is he back in the dating game? Who‘s the best guy for Ali?Here‘s what Kasey had to say: Read more »

Ahhh, the weatherman! Whether you read that as a sigh of joy or sign of terror, and whether you loved or hated to watch Jonathan Novack‘s over-emotional antics this season on The Bachelorette (if you read my recaps, you know that I skew to the extreme "love" side) there‘s no denying that the by-day newscaster had a definite presence on screen.And good thing, too, especially for us weatherman-lovers: Jonathan will be back on ABC starting August 9 on Bachelor Pad, alongside fellow Bachelorette season 6 cast members Craig McKinnion and Jesse Beck. Forecast: Drama!Also of note for Jonathan-lovers in Los Angeles: the weatherman‘s contract is up at his news station, and he‘s gearing up to move to L.A. to look into entertainment reporting and revive his stand-up comedy act. (The Bachelorette is sure to have given him plenty of material.)This morning, Jonathan took time to talk about his roller-coaster of a Bachelorette experience, from shooting a swimsuit calendar to kissing Ali in a music video. Here‘s what he had to say. Read more »

Breaking up with someone is never too easy but breaking up in the world of reality TV makes everything even more complicated. Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi, the latest Bachelor couple to join the list of reality relationship wrecks, have been dishing their dirty laundry in public through magazine interviews ever since the public learned about their split this month. Catch up on the "He Said, She Said" fiasco here.  Read more »

No doubt about it: The Bachelorette word of the week is "wrestler."This Monday on The Bachelorette, it‘s the day all of us spoiler-readers have been waiting for--Ali learns about entertainment wrestler Justin "Rated R" Rego‘s girlfriend back home.And how does she learn about this shocking news? From her former Bachelorette competitor, Jessie Sulidis! (Who will also appear on the upcoming season of Bachelor Pad, in case you‘re curious.)Watch the drama unfold in the clip below.Plus, more wrestling fun: Check out another sneak peek of Monday‘s episode in which four of Ali‘s guys take on professional Turkish olive oil wrestlers for their chance to win some one-on-one time. Read more »

Now that Ali has trimmed down her pool of suitors to seven on The Bachelorette, it‘s getting more and more difficult to decide which ones are right for her, which ones aren‘t and most especially which ones are there for the wrong reasons. But predicting the winners and losers of tonight‘s episode, however, proves to be quite easy and predictable.  Read more »

The majority of the night‘s Bachelorette excitement and water-cooler material came at us in the first 10 minutes, when Ali kicked Justin "Rated Rrrrrrridiculously Stupid" Rego out on his handicapable ass--an epic scene that I covered in detail in last night‘s Bachelorette-Bites: Istan-Bull$#!* (Geography pun! You‘re welcome for that, by the way) and where I fully expect you to go read, weigh the facts and do a little soul-searching about whether The Bachelorette or Justin is more to blame for his looking like a ‘roid-rageous fame monster on national TV. These are the important issues of the day (just kidding, please go read about the oil spill when you‘re done here), and these are the questions that keep me up at night (kidding again, last night I was actually up wondering whatever happened to Rick Moranis and how I might convince him to come back to me). Anyway The Bachelorette is no longer a "Rated R" zone, but that doesn‘t mean that last night‘s episode wasn‘t up to its exposed belly button in skin, steam and sex. Oil rubs! Bathhouse massages! The viewing of carpets! These are all things that happened, more or less. Let‘s make fun of them now, OK? Read more »

How hydrated are you after last night‘s Bachelorette episode? I mean, you spent the whole day at the water cooler discussing what went down with Justin "Rated R" Rego, right? "I couldn‘t possibly drink another tiny paper cup of this lukewarm office water, but I must, because seriously Carol, did you hear those voice mails?" That‘s you, being the pop-culture-savviest girl (or guy!) at work.Maybe not, but that doesn‘t mean you don‘t want to relive the divinely uncomfortable moment when Ali confronted Justin about his many love-lies, and then he tried to make his escape down the stars, through bushes and over fountains just to avoid talking to her. And now you can. Plus: Check out more Bachelorette videos from last night‘s episode in Turkey, including a deleted scene with my favorite--NOT--Frank, that whole olive oil wrestling fiasco, and--bonus!--the first promo for ABC‘s Bachelor Pad. Read more »

This week on The Bachelorette, Ali took the seven remaining guys to Istanbul, Turkey, where the usual happened (dates, make-outs, someone got sent home without a rose). But that‘s not the real story of the night. The real story is WHOA, HOW BIG OF A JERK IS JUSTIN? The biggest and the jerkiest, it turns out! (As if having a career as an "entertainment wrestler" didn‘t give that away in the beginning, and that his perma-smug-face didn‘t give it away every minute after that.) But Ali needed convincing, and boy, did she get it. This edition of Bachelorette-Bites is dedicated to the country of Canada. I‘m sorry that this guy is your native son, and I promise to not hold it against you: Read more »

All the Bachelor and Bachelorette news that‘s fit to print, but unfit for individual consumption:Watch out, Canada! Justin "Rated R" Rego wants to be a cop. "In the next year or so I‘m actually looking to be a police officer," he told ET Canada. "I‘m slowly studying it ... that‘s something I truly am passionate about and I definitely want to get into." What words would you use to describe a great police officer? Honor, integrity, courage, respect, commitment ... yeah, you better be studying up, Justin. Also seemingly forgetting those damning romantic voice mails that ABC played as he exited the show, Justin told ET that un-girlfriend Jessica was just "somebody that I always wanted in my life cause she‘s a great person." Guess that‘s why they were making out in public last week. Read more »

Last week, Reality Steve told us Ali chooses no one in the upcoming Bachelorette finale and goes home alone.Now, Us Weekly claims that Ms. Fedotowsky not only chooses a guy from her final two in Tahiti, but she‘s currently engaged to him.To make matters more confusing: InTouch reports that Ali is kinda, sorta dating an entirely different guy back home.We‘ll have to wait until the latest Us Weekly issue comes out to see whether the mag‘s claims of a "confirmed" proposal are all that confirming. All Us will say at the moment is that its unnamed sources say that Ali "is planning a West Coast wedding in early 2011," and "she‘s already thinking about the details."Which guy proposed? Spoiler-fiends shouldn‘t be surprised by this answer:  Read more »

So much Bachelor gossip, so little time!Well, that‘s not quite true. With two hours of ABC airtime every week and the wonders of social media, there‘s plenty of time for bad-mouthed Bachelor contestants to get their stories out.And Vienna Girardi and Justin ‘Rated R‘ Rego are doing just that. Below, check out each of their defenses against their recent Bachelor scandals. Do the stories hold up? Read more »

The self-proclaimed "bullsh*t-detector" of this season on The Bachelorette, lovable lawyer Craig Robinson made it all the way to Turkey before Ali regrettably let him go for their lack of romantic chemistry. He may have ultimately gone home roseless, but Craig got one gratifying gift before he left the show: He got to watch as Ali finally kicked out the guy he‘d pinned as a bad egg from night one--Justin ‘Rated R‘ Rego, the two-timing entertainment wrestler, and the hot topic of the week in Bachelor-land.Craig answered plenty of questions about Justin in his conference call with the media this morning, as well as about his own Bachelorette experience: Was he expecting his elimination? How does he feel about Ali now? And is he set to give up his day job for a career as an olive oil wrestler? Here‘s what he had to say: Read more »

Tonight on a very special episode of The Bachelorette, the producers proved what we‘ve known all along: This show doesn‘t need to be two hours long. After gracefully cramming Ali‘s sleep-inducing (oh, excuse me, "fairytale") adventures into about an hour--more like 40 minutes if you don‘t count commercials and gratuitous teasers--The Bachelorette and Chris Harrison treated us to that much-anticipated Jake and Vienna interview, in the same way that John Wilkes Booth "treated" Abraham Lincoln to a bullet in the head, or the Cloverfield monster "treated" New York to the bottoms of its monster-feet. But worse: "Wait, before you bash my head in with your big, nasty monster feet, can you please define the word ‘undermine‘ and then talk about the merits of various bedroom furniture organizational methods, please, oh please, Mr. Cloverfield monster?" And the Cloverfield monster is like, "DON"T INTERRUPT ME!" and then stomps. What a treat for EVERYONE!What I‘m saying is that the fight--in what turns out to be this relationship‘s only imitation of an actual relationship between two actual human beings--was a huge bummer for everyone involved.  Read more »

The final five, Roberto, Kirk, Chris, Ty and Frank, all went to Lisbon, Portugal for a romantic getaway with Ali, who was forced to decide which four suitors will be moving on to the home town dates. Though a lot of drama was promised this week on The Bachelorette, most of it came from Chris Harrison‘s highly anticipated interview with Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi, who are living proof that finding fairytale love on TV could turn into a devastating nightmare. You can check out the highlights of the episode in Meghan Carlson‘s Bachelorette-Bites. Meanwhile, let‘s identify the winners and losers of the night.  Read more »

For some reason, everyone (myself included) seems totally shocked at what terrible people Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi turned out to be. It‘s like, "Wait, hold on. You‘re saying that the constantly shirtless (and sometimes pantsless) guy who cried his way through The Bachelorette, The Bachelor and Dancing with the Stars and the self-proclaimed ‘spoiled princess‘ whom he proposed to on national television aren‘t dignified, respectful and honest people? GET OUT. But how can I ever trust again?"The many ways in which Jake and Vienna were able to fool each other, themselves and THE WORLD (Haha, sure) with their uniquely horrific, endlessly bastardized version of "love" was the real story on last night‘s episode of The Bachelorette, but there was also another story: A story so dull that you probably fell asleep and had a dream about paying your taxes that was more interesting and suspenseful. A story so predictable that I could have written this recap before the episode even aired. And that story goes like this: Ali went to Portugal, where she got super-drunk and talked about feelings until even the sky started to cry, begging her to stop, and then she broke a honky‘s fragile heart. The End.Just kidding! I‘m full of those. (Kiddings.) Get ready for some more: Read more »

And then there were two. (Successful Bachelor couples, that is.)Jillian Harrison, 29, and Ed Swiderski, who met and got engaged on The Bachelorette season 5, have announced their split."I love him and I‘m really sad, but I have to look out for me," Harris told Us Weekly.Swiderski, 30, sounded more open to a reconciliation--at least some point down the road: "We‘re both kind of resetting. Jillian isn‘t happy and I‘m definitely sad about the whole thing, but we‘ve got to work through some things on our own if we decide to move forward." Read more »

Southern boy and country crooner Ty Brown learned that he wasn‘t Bachelorette Ali‘s prince in Portugal, leaving the show before he could take her home to meet his family in Nashville, TN. Ty spoke to the media on Thursday about his time on this scandalous season of The Bachelorette, from the infamous wrestler drama to his awkward two-on-one date with fellow love-seeker Frank. Here‘s what Ty had to say about Ali, the other guys and his "traditional" background that so interested The Bachelorette: Read more »

On Monday‘s episode of The Bachelorette, Ali visits each of her final four guys--Chris, Kirk, Roberto and Frank--in their hometowns to get a glimpse at their friends, families and backgrounds.Check out four sneak peeks at her visits--they‘re nothing too crazy, except, uh, the "thousands" of dead animals that have been brought "back to life" in Kirk‘s basement!Plus, bonus for the ladiesssss: See Chris being adorable (per usual) and Roberto in a baseball uniform. The only thing NOT to love about these videos is Frank (also per usual), who is clearly trying to force something between himself and Ali that just isn‘t there. GO HOME, Frank! Oh wait, you‘re already home. STAY HOME, Frank! Read more »

Last week‘s episode of The Bachelorette, which took Ali and her final five guys to Portugal, was boring. (Luckily for you, though, my recap of it was NOT.) I think we can all agree that the second hour, which featured Jake Pavelka‘s and Vienna Girardi‘s fight to the brain death, was where it was AT, excitement-wise.But that doesn‘t mean that the more Bachelorette-y parts of last week‘s Bachelorette episode didn‘t also contain important clues about which man Ali will eventually choose: Which man is the least awkward dancer? Which is the best driver? And who looks the least stupid in a tunic? All these questions must be answered before Ali can pick her bridegroom, and all of these questions are answered in this week‘s Bachelorette Youtube videos from ABC. Enjoy. Read more »

Meeting your significant other‘s parents can be stressful. The small talk, the smiling, the straddling of the thin line between "being yourself" and coming across as a "total weirdo." (Oh, just me? OK then.) Now, imagine doing it four times in the course of a week, with four different families who all know you‘re two-timing (or more like four-timing) their beloved baby boy, and have been dumping dudes left and right for several weeks, and might dump their son next. And doing it all on national television. FUN!I guess what I‘m saying is that I can see why Ali had a drink in her hand for almost the entirety of tonight‘s Bachelorette episode. Now it‘s time for the high and low points of tonight‘s episode, which the show conveniently broke up into the first and second hours of the episode! "Save the worst for last!" That‘s ABC‘s motto. Read more »

If you‘ve been following my weekly round of Winners and Losers of The Bachelorette, it‘s pretty obvious which three of the four remaining suitors will move on to the next round and which one will go home tonight. Though what transpired this week is nothing unexpected, each of the hometown dates reveals something new and different about the bachelors and their families, and whether or not Ali can see past the horrors of taxidermy and parental interrogation.You can check out the highlights of the episode in Meghan Carlson‘s Bachelorette-Bites. Meanwhile, let‘s identify the winners and losers of the night. Read more »

If you‘ve read even one article by me about this season of The Bachelorette (thank you!), you know about my distaste for a certain guy named Frank. All valid, qualifying arguments about the misleading nature of reality television editing and the inherent artificiality that cause otherwise good people into acting in unnatural, unflattering ways aside ... I. Do. Not. Like. Him. And, as part of my job as a television writer, it is my duty to judge, analyze and then tell you, in all my uniquely ridiculous and hyberbolic ways, how much I do not like him. I feel that I have done that. Mission accomplished. And then some. That said, I know some of you like Frank. And I respect your opinion, because when it comes down to it, this is still a silly reality television show. About people we don‘t know. Who are collectively chasing a fantasy that we all know probably won‘t work out. In ways that in no shape or form resemble genuine human existence. So go ahead and like Frank as much as you want. Like him so much that you love him and marry him and have all the babies with him. In your mind. Because subjectivity, and ambiguity, and most of all, who cares. Right?Well, it‘s confession time: I still care, despite, and maybe even because of, my ardent attempts to not care. Consistent blogging: It makes you care about stuff! (Good slogan work, Meghan.) Anyway, all this serves to explain the complex, potent blend of emotions that comes over me as I watch the sneak preview of next week‘s Bachelorette episode, which you can see below.Disdain. Anger. Anxiety. Boredom. Satisfaction. Hunger. Purple. All these emotions I feel about Frank‘s wishy-washy ways. But most of all: Vindication. Not because I now think Frank is some terrible, evil person. (I can find him arrogant and obnoxious and deluded and blow-hard-y and still think he‘s not an inherently bad person. Like Shrek said, "Onions, layers, and so forth.") But because I said he was "shifty" from the start, and if this clip doesn‘t illustrate a dramatic SHIFT in the trajectory of this season of The Bachelorette, I don‘t know what does:  Read more »

You can tell a lot about a person by their parents: morals, traditions, a vague approximation of what their skin will look like in 30 years. Which is why, instead of judging the Bachelorette boys by their own actions last night (oh, we did that, too), we should also judge by the closest glimpse we‘ve got of what they‘ll be like as husbands: their dear ol‘ dads!Luckily for Ali‘s final three--Roberto, Chris and Frank--"dear" was just the right word to describe their proud pops. Each could easily qualify as a "#1 Dad," but which papa most won me (and you!) over when he welcomed Ali into his home? It was a tough call, but this totally arbitrary point system helped me pick out the primo patriarch from last night‘s Bachelorette episode:  Read more »

In this week‘s edition of Bachelorette-Tube, we get a deleted scene of Ali and Chris back home in Cape Cod, two key moments from the week‘s home visits, and the last words from poor Kirk, who brought Ali back to Wisconsin to meet his family (and his dad‘s taxidermy subjects) and then ended up getting "stuffed" as a result.Plus: Did you see the sneak peek from next week‘s episode of Frank being Frank-ish? What a frankin‘ Frank, if you know what I mean. Check it out below. Read more »

The folks over at Zap2It got the chance to catch up with Bachelorette Ali Fedotowsky backstage at the KTLA morning show today, and got her to talk about tonight‘s big drama-maker: Frank dumping her for his ex-girlfriend. And while she says she was "devastated" to hear that he‘d left his heart in Chicago and strung her along while he figured that out, she also wouldn‘t put Frank in the same category as across-the-board jerk-face Justin "Rated R" Rego:"I still have a lot of respect for Frank. A lot of warm feelings towards him."I guess I shouldn‘t be surprised to hear Ali‘s kind words for Frank now that it‘s been months since he unceremoniously dumped her in Tahiti, given how fondly she‘d regarded him up until their breakup. (Feelings I do not share. No, not one bit.) And given how this show isn‘t actually real, so the feelings that she and Frank shared were more akin to the fleeting attraction you might have to a stranger in a coffee shop than actual "love." And especially given that she had two other hunks into whose arms she could readily run after Frank "broke" her already portioned-out heart. Why shouldn‘t she have warm feelings for him? It‘s silly to hate someone you barely even know, especially for doing pretty much the exact same thing you‘ve been hired to do, over and over again, on national TV. (Dump and humiliate people in beautiful, exotic locales.) And especially when you‘ve got two other Ken dolls waiting in the wings to comfort you. When he broke the news, she probably didn‘t simply yell "NEXT!" and grab a mohito because it‘s in her ABC contract that she has to pretend to care about these people. Them‘s the rules. Read more »

Bachelorette contestant Kirk DeWindt first won over Ali with his smooth acting skills during their steamy music video scene, and then he pulled on her heartstrings with the story of a mysterious mold infection that almost killed him. After traveling around the world with Ali and her other guys, it took a visit to Kirk‘s hometown of Greenbay, Wis., for Ali to realize that while her feelings for Kirk were strong, he wasn‘t the one she was looking for.Kirk spoke to the media this morning about his whirlwind Bachelorette experience, his thoughts on Ali and the remaining three men vying for her love. Here‘s what he had to say: Read more »

Thanks to spoilers online, in the tabloids, and even from ABC (like their preview revealing that Frank would dump Ali in Tahiti--what was up with that?), very little about this season of The Bachelorette has been left a mystery. But the biggest question of this or any Bachelor(ette) season still seems to be a mystery to most viewers: Did Ali choose a groom or go home alone in Tahiti?Reality Steve says she went home solo. US Weekly says she‘s a bride-to-be. In three more weeks, we‘ll know for sure. Until then, Ali‘s been mighty busy chatting up the tabloids about the possibilities.Read the clues (plus more thoughts from Ali on this season), and then weigh in: Is Ali taken or single? Read more »

Tonight on The Bachelorette, Ali traveled to Tahiti for some steamy hut-loving with her final three guys. And things were getting serious. The only thing she packed more of than bikinis were feelings. But there was just one problem: Frank was busy getting busy with his ex-girlfriend, and instead of going on their scheduled sailing date, Frank sailed into Tahiti and crushed Ali‘s spirit with a SHOCKING revelation (if you don‘t have the Internet) that he was in love with his ex (now ex-ex) Nicole. BOOM goes the die-inside-nomite! (I‘m sorry. That joke was terrible.)And, speaking of terrible, I bring you my picks for the winners and the losers of tonight‘s Bachelorette episode in Tahiti (I‘m guessing YOU can guess who is definitely classified as a loser):  Read more »

Last night on The Bachelorette, Ali and Chris went hunting for pearls on the coast of Tahiti, which then prompted the Bachelorette to weave the following analogy:"Being here with Chris looking for pearls, sort of reminds me of our relationship: It was slow to develop, but you just wait and give it some time and you wind up with something beautiful."Ali, you are so profound. Your words are like a tapestry of wisdom woven from the fabric of the sun.Why don‘t The Bachelorette story editors let Ali wax poetic more often? Probably because then she would come off as TOO smart, and then the boys wouldn‘t like her anymore. But, luckily, we know what Ali the poet would say about all the other fun activities she did in Tahiti this week: Read more »

Unfortunately for us, there‘s no "Diary of the Departed" this week on The Bachelorette, probably because Frank said just about all he needed to say before, during and after his extended dumping of Ali. But don‘t worry, because we‘ll definitely get to hear more dramatic, superlative platitudes ("What I do today will change everything," "I prepared myself for the worst, and it was 100 times worse than that," etc.) when Frank returns for the "After the Final Rose" special in two weeks.So, while you‘re not making up your own cheesy pearl metaphors or bashing on Frank like it‘s your job (Oh, right, it IS my job! Cool.), why not check out these ABC Bachelorette YouTube videos, including a deleted scene that catches Chris and Ali--prepare to be shocked--dancing with the Tahitian natives? Because if there‘s one thing that this season of The Bachelorette needed, it was MORE DANCING. Read more »

It‘s almost that special time again, that magical evening full of laughs, tears and secrets that tragically comes only twice a year--The Bachelor(ette) Men [or Women] Tell All Special! Oh, happy day! How will I ever sleep before next Monday night?ABC has issued a press release teasing us about all the "explosive" gossip and "shocking" scandals that the "most memorable bachelors of this season" (except Justin and Frank, but thankfully including Kasey and Jonathan) will reveal when they reunite. On the docket for the Chris Harrison-hosted television event of the summer: Read more »

We‘re sure to see sparks fly when The Bachelorette: The Men Tell All airs tonight on ABC, but sparks of a different sort reportedly flew between two stars behind the scenes. People reports that third runner-up for Ali‘s affections, Kirk DeWindt, caught the eye of former Bachelor contender and Bachelor Pad contestant Jessie Sulidis, who appears on tonight‘s special to talk about her role in exposing Justin ‘Rated R‘ Rego‘s lies during the current Bachelorette season.Kirk will reportedly let Frank have it (even though Frank won‘t be there) for taking his spot in Tahiti, but it sounds like he‘s already fully moved on from Ali--right into the arms of Jessie. People‘s source says that Kirk and Jessie "met at the Men Tell All, then went to the afterparty and exchanged numbers -- and a kiss." Since then, "they have been talking."Oooooh. Talking! "He‘s driving up to Canada this weekend to see her so they can get to know each other," says the source. "Everything is hush-hush right now because they don‘t know what will come of it." First of all: They didn‘t do a very good job of keeping it "hush-hush," now did they? And could the secrecy attempt be related to the fact that Kirk is still in contention for a job as the next Bachelor? Read more »

To give viewers a different perspective on The Bachelorette season 6, Ali‘s suitors reunite one last time before she makes her final decision next week. Much like previous seasons, this week‘s "The Men Tell All" episode dishes out on the juicy revelations and the most unforgettable moments of the season, though, unfortunately but not surprisingly, it doesn‘t feature two of the most controversial contestants this season: Justin R. and Frank--who both turned out to be losers of the night despite of their absence.  So who else looked like a fool and who totally came out on top? Here are my picks:  Read more »

The time has come. She‘s traveled the world with them. She‘s met their parents. She‘s even shared the closed-door "Fantasy Suites" with them. Now Ali‘s Bachelorette journey must come to a close, and she must choose between her final two guys: Chris or Roberto? Roberto or Chris? Or, as is a popular spoiler opinion this season, neither? We‘ve all got our theories about which guy Ali will choose, but our question at hand here is which guy SHOULD she choose? In other words: If you were Ali, who would you choose?Much like the ever divisive "Team Edward vs. Team Jacob" Twilight debates, I expect that for every die-hard Chris or devoted Roberto fan, there are a handful of you who would love to chicken out and proclaim, "Can‘t I just choose both?" Hahaha--NO. As Dumbledore said in a totally relevant (or, at least, just as realistic) Harry Potter situation, "Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy." (Oops, a Twilight AND a Harry Potter reference? Cover up your nerd-dom, Meghan, it‘s grossing out the readers.)In other words, don‘t be a DUMB-bledore. It‘s time to (wo)man up and make a choice. So CHOOSE WISELY: Read more »

Melissa Rycroft has announced she is pregnant with her first child with husband Tye Strickland."It‘s the most wonderful surprise in the world," Rycroft Strickland, who is due in February, tells US Weekly. "It‘s such a blessing."The former Bachelor star and Dancing with the Stars contestant, now with a new gig as co-host of ABC‘s Bachelor Pad (premiering August 9) married Strickland in December. It‘s hard to believe that as recently as early 2009, Rycroft was embroiled in a very messy, very public breakup with then-Bachelor Jason Mesnick. It‘s safe to say that with her busy work schedule and happy home life, those days are long behind her. Rycroft joked about her big year when she announced the news this morning on Good Morning America."Apparently Tye and I wanted to see how many life-changing events we could fit into one calendar year, from getting engaged, married, new job, and we are now pregnant."  Read more »

As Ali‘s Bachelorette season winds down, Bachelor fans have a new spin on the franchise to look forward to: Bachelor Pad kicks off August 9, and the premiere episode will certainly set the sexy, competitive tone that the show seems to be going for.Check out two sneak peeks at the series premiere two Mondays from now: In the first, the original 19 Pad residents play a tricky game of Twister that quickly turns dirty as their already exposed body parts get twisted. Juan at least admits and embraces the distractions.Then, speaking of tricky, check out the chemistry between housemates Natalie and Jesse B. as they try to balance their attraction, game strategies and ever-refilling champagne glasses.Want more Bachelor Pad sneak peeks? Check out official episode 1 photos of the Twister Game, a romantic beach date for four and the cast introductions at their new Pad. Read more »

In a press release promoting next Monday‘s Bachelorette finale, in which Ali will choose between sensitive hunk Roberto or other sensitive hunk Chris (the fan favorite up in here), ABC teases that this finale will lead to a "shocking outcome," and "for the first time ever, an unexpected turn of events leaves her risking it all for love," continuing fan and spoiler speculation that Ali may indeed leave Tahiti having chosen neither man as her future husband.Bachelor host Chris Harrison, who‘s always willing to stoke the fires and promote each season‘s finale as the "MOST DRAMATIC EVER," is doing that job well once more, this time in an interview with E! Online, in which he says that this season‘s finale is "different than what our fans have seen in years past," and that it is not necessarily a happy ending for Ali."People will be surprised. Whether it‘s good or not, Ali‘s happy with it and she‘s sticking by it. It‘ll be interesting. I really just want to sit back and watch the fan reactions, what the comments are and how they feel it all played out."Are ABC and Harrison trying to play us for fools, and Ali actually will end up engaged to Roberto or Chris? (I mean, these two are probably the two hottest and best liked finalists in Bachelorette history. Wouldn‘t she be a crazy woman to pass up both?) Or do these hints actually say what we think they do--that Ali ends up alone? That would certainly explain why we don‘t see either guy at the final rose ceremony in this Bachelorette finale preview, though Ali sounds oh so in love:  Read more »

Tonight‘s the night! It‘s the finale we‘ve been waiting for, and the one Ali‘s been dating for: When she‘ll have to decide between her final two guys, Chris or Roberto--or go home solo.We may not know what‘s going to happen, but we do know that The Bachelor(ette), especially on a finale, works on a strict and well-known formula of "last chance dates," tearful kisses and serious gazes across gorgeous landscapes. Whether you‘ve stuck it out through the whole season or are just joining us to find out the outcome, whether you‘re Team Chris or Team Roberto, and whether you give a care or couldn‘t care less who Ali picks, we all deserve have some fun with tonight‘s three-hour Bachelor(ette) ABC extravaganza. And here‘s how: A "Let‘s Predict the Finale" party game! In the comments, place your bets on each of these seven unknowns for tonight‘s Bachelorette finale. I‘ll be keeping track of each item as I live recap the two-hour finale and one-hour After the Final Rose special. If your answers come closest to the truth, you will win a very special prize: The pride of being the Biggest Bachelor Nerd in all the land! (Very cool prize.) Read more »

It‘s tough to weigh in on the Winners and Losers on The Bachelorette simply because almost everyone in the finale won the crowd over--which doesn‘t often happen on this reality dating franchise. Ali was obviously left with two great suitors: Roberto, who is hot, sweet and nice, and Chris, a family man who is also attractive and genuinely down-to-earth. Let‘s face it, Ali wins no matter who she chooses and whoever Ali doesn‘t choose is her loss and our gain. But for the sake of wrapping up the season, let‘s weigh in on the winners and losers of the night from The Bachelorette‘s final episode down to the After the Final Rose special. Read more »

"The Bachelor: The Videogame" comes out today, and it is both stupid and terrible. Is it necessary to tell you that "The Bachelor: The Videogame" is both stupid and terrible? No, I imagine you could have predicted that simply based on its name.Is it necessary to tell you how and why "The Bachelor: The Videogame" is both stupid and terrible? Oh goodness, yes. As it is sometimes considered cool to spend hard-earned money on things that are stupid and terrible in an ironic form of self-entertainment (the old "so bad it‘s good" reaction to veritable garbage), you might think a video game that is based on a ridiculous reality show that is based on unrealistic fairy tales would fall into that category. But this is not one of those "so bad it‘s good" things. It is one of those "so bad it‘s so, so, so, SO bad" things. If I could sum up this review in one word, it would be this: DON‘T.But here come lots more words, because the ways in which "The Bachelor: The Videogame" is both stupid and terrible are the most entertaining things about this game.  Read more »

After finally seeing their proposal air on TV and getting their engagement out in the open, Bachelorette Ali and her new man Roberto stopped by Jimmy Kimmel to talk about what life‘s been like for the past three months, plus what they have planned for the future.You can always leave it up to Jimmy to ask the funny tough questions, like how did Roberto like watching Ali make out with all those other guys? And what kind of "weird stuff" have they been doing in seclusion all these months?For engaged couple cuteness that borders on overdose, watch for when Ali and Roberto chat about the the weird quirks they‘re learning to love about each other: Read more »

On tonight‘s Bachelorette finale, Ali (to quote Chris Harrison) "broke the rules again" when, after introducing both final men to her family and going on a romantic Last Chance Date with Roberto, she let go of Chris before his final date and the Final Rose Ceremony. (Read the full Bachelorette live recap for all my color commentary on tonight‘s two-hour finale.)But for a woman who broke the rules, Ali came out smelling like roses, and got everything she wanted: the man of her dreams, a beautiful proposal and no dumping (and therefore no tears) on the day of her engagement. She even managed to keep the love and respect of Chris, who thanked her for letting him go and sparing his feelings before the big day. That‘s called "breaking the rules"? Maybe Mike Fleiss and his Bachelor minions should change the rules.During tonight‘s The Bachelorette: After the Final Rose, Chris Harrison spoke with Ali, her new fiance Roberto and Chris about those final days in Tahiti, and it was all smiles and hugs--even from Chris, who may not have "cemented those feelings" with Ali like he hoped in Bora Bora, but who certainly cemented his place as America‘s #1 choice for the next Bachelor. Read more »

I was totally ready to kick off tonight‘s "shocking" Bachelorette finale live recap with an energetic little rant about how in previous seasons we knew exactly what was going to happen, but that this time around all our spoilers have been conflicting and rather confusing. And that even though the spoilers were frustrating and often quite stupid this season, the lack of a definitive answer to "Who does Ali choose?" was rather refreshing and actually made me more excited to see how this finale would all play out. And then I was going to nostalgically note how much I missed that feeling of anticipation from previous seasons, and how it almost took me back to the good old days when I still believed that The Bachelor(ette) could produce a "happily ever after." (So, like, around season 2.)But then Reality Steve came out five hours before tonight‘s finale with an updated account of what his sources say will happen in tonight‘s finale, and it just makes so much sense and sounds so logical that I can‘t help but believe it. So, last ounce of anticipation (and intended recap introduction) ... gone. (If you haven‘t read today‘s spoiler, AND you haven‘t watched tonight‘s finale yet, I encourage you not to read it and let yourself be surprised. But, if you must, here it lives.)Anyway, whether I knew the ending or not, it makes no difference: I‘ve been here every step of the way since Ali and her 25 original doofuses started this journey, and I‘m sticking it out until Ali finds her man every last opportunity to make fun of them has passed. And tonight, I‘m doin‘ it LIVE--so join me in the comments with your thoughts, hopes, dreams, zings and random observations during tonight‘s Bachelorette finale. Read more »

Back in June, at the beginning of The Bachelorette season 6, blogger Reality Steve cited his inside sources as saying that Ali left her Bachelorette journey a single woman. Since then, so many competing spoilers have left us confused and wondering what would actually go down during tonight‘s finale. Now, the day of the finale, Steve made sure he got the last spoiler word in before ABC airs Ali‘s final decision, and he‘s changed his tune about what‘s to come for Ali‘s romantic fate. Better late than wrong, right?Want to be surprised by tonight‘s Bachelorette conclusion? Then stop reading. Want to know what Reality Steve‘s sources are saying now? Keep reading ...  Read more »

Now that Ali and Roberto are riding off into the celebrity sunset for their happily ever after, it‘s time for ABC to close the book on The Bachelorette and look ahead to their next TV fairytale in the making on The Bachelor. But first, the big decision: Which suitor from last season‘s Bachelorette would make the perfect prince charming as the new Bachelor?If you watched this season with the same fine-toothed chemistry comb and iron-fisted judgmental attitude that I did, it‘s clear that two guys stand head-and-shoulders about the rest when it comes to all the qualities we want in a Bachelor--looks, personality, back-story, sense of humor, and the ability to drive women to madness with one glance. Oh, and don‘t forget those pecs!No, I‘m not talking about Kasey Kahl, though a season of The Bachelor: To Guard and Protect Her Heart would be unquestionably amazing. I‘m talking about sweet, sensitive runner-up Chris L. and happy, hunky fourth-placer Kirk. Who‘s the right guy for the gig? Let‘s break it down in a side-by-side Bachelor showdown:  Read more »

After finally seeing their engagement revealed on national television during Monday night‘s romantic, rule-breaking Bachelorette finale, happy couple Ali Fedotowsky and Roberto Martinez spoke with the media about their engagement, the future, whether they‘d ever get married on TV, and which guy should carry the Bachelor torch next season.Check out what the future Mr. and Mrs. Martinez had to say, and then scroll down for photos of their first few days as a publicly engaged couple. Read more »

Bachelor Pad, ABC‘s answer to the question no one asked ("How can we make The Bachelor sillier and more scantily clad?") premieres tonight at 8pm. I had the chance to preview the two-hour episode that introduces the 19 former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants who will compete for $250,000, and went into it thinking that my history of watching these characters on the Bachelor franchise is the only thing that would make this show even remotely watchable. Instead, I came out of tonight‘s episode with the need to tip my cap to executive producer Mike Fleiss once again, because whether you‘ve seen The Bachelor or not, I‘m willing to bet that Bachelor Pad will entertain you. Make no mistake: It will entertain you in the basest and most brain-barren of ways, and you may not like yourself much for it ... but it will entertain you. Here‘s why. Read more »

Don‘t kid yourself: You may have tuned in to the premiere of Bachelor Pad for the swimwear, but you got hooked on the drama. And with 19 former Bachelor and Bachelorette rejects fighting for money, looking for love and using sex as a weapon, there‘s plenty of insanity to go around.Here, we honor the craziest of the crazies in the weekly Bachelor Pad Padded Room-o-meter.  Read more »

Hey men! You know how it is when you‘re casually dating a girl, but she wants something more serious than you do, so you try to gently tell her that you should just be friends? But then you know how she inevitably takes what you said the wrong way, because she‘s crazy in love with you, and you‘re both on a reality show trying to win $250,000 and, oh yeah, she‘s also certifiably insane? And then you know how you‘re in a real pickle, because you either have to take back the truth you said so you don‘t lose your chance at the money, or you have to risk seriously pissing off a woman with crazy-eyes whom you literally cannot escape from because you‘re both trapped in a house with no phone and no way to get out? So you know how you just lie and apologize and hold her hand and become her bitch in the hopes she won‘t murder you out of love-madness? You know how it is. Such a common and relatable scenario. Women: Can‘t live with them, can‘t reason with them like human beings, am I right? Well, even if you can‘t relate, that‘s exactly what happened between Jesse Kovacs and Elizabeth last night on Bachelor Pad, and the two scenes during the episode of Jesse saying rational things while Elizabeth cried just weren‘t enough. We need one more. Here it is. PLUS: Hear what the Pad‘s first casualties, crazy Michelle and jerk-face Juan, had to say about their eliminations. SPOILER ALERT: No self-awareness gained, no life lessons learned. Just as it should be on Bachelor Pad.  Read more »

If Bachelor Pad didn‘t tune you into the fact that being a contestant on The Bachelor or Bachelorette enters one into quite an exclusive social club, let this news do the trick: Three separate couples, all associated with the Bachelor franchise, have gotten engaged this week, including one set of twins, Michael and Stephen Stagliano, who are reportedly now hoping for a televised double wedding to their respective Bachelor star brides.Ironically enough given the purpose of the show, more love connections seem to take place off camera than on. Behold, the Bachelor wedding web at work:Michael Stagliano, who appeared on The Bachelorette 5 to compete for the affections of Jillian Harris, announced on Twitter today that he is officially engaged to Holly Durst, who lost out on Matt Grant‘s love during The Bachelor: London Calling. Michael‘s identical twin Stephen, who never appeared on the show as a contestant but did pop up during Michael‘s hometown visit with Jillian, also popped the question to former Bachelorette Deanna Pappas. Read more »

Those of you with high-def TVs are in for a real treat this evening, because you won‘t want to miss a single, vomit-inducing pixel of tonight‘s Bachelor Pad, when the remaining padders will compete in their second challenge: A good ol‘ fashioned pie eating contest. In this sneak peek, the ladies sit down, take off their shirts (as you must when consuming mass amounts of desserts) and get down to business on their pies of questionable flavor--and the result is the opposite of pretty. Funny thing about cleavage: It‘s somehow less attractive when you‘re heaving into a bucket with pie crust smeared all over your face.Below the clip, check out photos from tonight‘s messy Bachelor Pad episode, and another preview of Jonathan‘s speedo-tastic art experience. Read more »

OK, let‘s cut right to the chase, because after those two hours of Bachelor Pad, the last thing you need is for me to waste MORE of your time. Tonight‘s episode was the WORST! So much ... what‘s the word ... THINKING!When I made a promise to myself that I would enjoy the pure summer fun of Bachelor Pad to its fullest, on this blog, with all of you, my special Bachelor Pad buddies, did I think I was signing on for two painful hours of vodka-soaked psychobabble about "outsiders" and "alliances"? NO! I thought I was in for a series of PG sex scenes, ridiculously irrelevant "challenges" that test basic human brain functions, and a constant stream of hilarious English-language-butchering through the mouths of people who once thought that finding love on TV was a good idea and whose ideas just got worse from there. Those people don‘t need teams and strategies and alliances to be entertaining--in fact, they need just the opposite. Don‘t you see that forcing them to think goes against their inherent nature, and if they‘re busy thinking, they‘re NOT busy NOT thinking, and thus NOT making terrible televised choices?Maybe it‘s my fault for not fully understanding what Bachelor Pad even is (though I‘m pretty sure Bachelor Pad doesn‘t fully understand what Bachelor Pad even is), but I feel duped. No--worse. I feel Fleissed. I WANT MY DRUNKEN HOT TUB MASSAGE FOLLOWED BY SOMEONE CALLING SOMEONE ELSE A SLUT WHICH THEN INSTIGATES A POOLSIDE CRYING SESSION! (I do? Oh God ... I do.) AND I WANT THEM NOW! This is still (kind of) The Bachelor after all. This isn‘t Survivor! (Although I would love to see these people marooned on an island). Anyway, we might as well try to parse out whatever it is that happened tonight on Bachelor Pad. But I‘m not happy about it. Read more »

Ready for your daily dose of quick TV news in 300 words or less? Sure you are!Steven Tyler Signs Idol Contract ... According to Someone Other Than FOXWe just can‘t seem to get away from the never-ending American Idol judge rumor mill. The newest word on the street this week: Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler has finalized negotiations with FOX and is officially on board to be a judge on the 10th season of American Idol--this according to "a very-inside music source." FOX still says, "No comment." We‘ll believe it when we see him at the judges‘ table. [Eonline]Vampire Queen Still Seeking KingTrue Blood‘s Evan Rachel Wood, 22, and rocker Marilyn Manson, 41, have broken off their engagement--again. [People]  Read more »

Next week on Bachelor Pad, 15 scheming housemates remain in the quest for the $250,000 grand prize, but not everyone is focused on the cash. In this sneak peek from last week, we see just how hard Tenley is crushing on Kiptyn (can you blame her?) and, on the less innocent end of the spectrum, just how hard Gia is falling for Wes--and how hard he‘s working for her attention.Plus, see what this week‘s Pad cast-offs, Jessie S. and Craig M., have to say for themselves now that the Bachelor tribe has spoken. Read more »

ABC announced this week that instead of the usual pre-filmed announcement of the new cast of Dancing with the Stars, hosts Tom Bergeron and Brooke Burke will hold a live news conference, with actual reporters in attendance, on August 30 to reveal the dance show‘s season 11 cast. The broadcast--scheduled for August 30 during a two-hour episode of Bachelor Pad--will also include a Q&A with the cast, though it‘s unclear whether we‘ll see that portion on air or online the next day.I‘ll be the first to admit that we certainly do consider the cast reveal to be news around these parts. But a "news conference," Dancing with the Stars? That‘s how seriously you take yourself, glittery dance competition show that stars B- and C-list celebrities? Your ratings may give you license to pull such a stunt, seeing that they were at their highest last season (though we probably have Kate Gosselin to thank for that) but a news conference still sounds like a little much--unless, of course, you‘ve got at least one massively "OMG"-worthy celeb ready to pull out of your hat for season 11. Is that what you‘re trying to tell us with this scheduled pageantry--that you‘re about to unveil a truly unmissable cast of ballroom misfits?Which brings me to my point at hand. News conference or no--but especially because you‘re setting this season‘s tone with a news conference--the rumors that you are going to cast Bachelorette-no-more Ali Fedotowsky and her TV-found fiance Roberto Martinez are troubling. Casting these two on what could be--and what you seem to want us to think will be--your biggest Dancing season yet is just a flat-out bad idea, and a waste of two spots that would go to better use with pretty much any other star in them. Here‘s why. Read more »

Apparently all the romantic dates, communal sleeping arrangements, unlimited alcohol and mandatory bikini time haven‘t led to enough action on Bachelor Pad, so the producers are taking mouth-matters into their own hands with a kissing competition on tonight‘s episode.Ewww. But also: Eh. Not surprising. Just another day at the grown up summer camp that is the Bachelor Pad, right? Maybe next week they‘ll play Truth or Dare.Check out these sneak peeks at tonight‘s "challenge," when the men and women will take turns lining up and testing their tongue skills on a blindfolded lad or lass. The guy and girl with the most votes for best kisser wins the competition.And the prize for being the best kisser in the Pad? Oh, you didn‘t think the lip locks ended there, did you? Each winning guy and girl will earn the right to take three special guests of their choice on overnight dates to Las Vegas. Bow-chicka-wow-barf. After all that making out, I hope they bring a toothbrush. Read more »

Aaaand, we‘re back. Where last week‘s Bachelor Pad got mired in excruciatingly idiotic strategy sessions between the "insiders" and the "outsiders," this week‘s episode brought forth the elements we were all hoping for in the first place on this summer sleaze-fest: Crying. Romance. Rejection. Overnight dates. Massages. Topless parties. A kissing contest. (Once just an apt metaphor for the show concept, now a literal activity.) Back-stabbing. (Unfortunately not literal.) One person calling another person "the modern day Shakespeare" when he or she is so clearly NOT the modern day Shakespeare. Also, no speedos. Hurray!You‘re lucky I‘ve got nothing else to watch and no moral compass left to guide my hand on the remote, Bachelor Pad. But thanks for getting back to making me sick in a good(ish) way.  Read more »

Next week on Bachelor Pad, things will get even uglier between the remaining 13 contestants when they each fill out a survey asking them to name the dumbest, meanest and other-bad-things-est people in the house. (Check out photos from next week‘s episode: Bachelor Pad Episode 4: A Brutal Quiz, Bruised Egos.)Here‘s a sneak peek of the contestants as they struggle to name names (surprise, surprise, Tenley cries) and then guess who the majority picked for each category. Plus, watch a deleted scene after last week‘s Kissing Contest and see what Gia and Jonathan had to say after their eliminations from the Bachelor Pad. Read more »

If this rumor is to be believed,it looks like ABC has found their new Kate Gosselin. At least when it comes to the "You‘ve got to see this" factor.E! Online reports they‘ve learned exclusively that Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin‘s 19-year-old daughter, has been cast on Dancing with the Stars season 11, set to premiere on September 20.My knee-jerk response to this news? A big, loud, horrified "Noooooooo!" But in the minute or so I‘ve had to process this information, I‘ve already thought of several reasons watching Palin on DWTS could be a fabulous thing: Read more »

All the Bachelor, Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad news bites that are fit to give an e-rose to and invite back to your mind‘s Fantasy Suite so you two can "get to know each other a little better."Ali Talks ElopementAli Fedotowsky recently told People that she and her TViance (that‘s the word I just made up for "TV fiance") Roberto Martinez would love to avoid going through "all the motions" of wedding planning and just elope. Ali, you and I both know that ABC would be happy to go through all those motions for you. By planning a fancy schmancy TV wedding for us all to creepily, vicariously enjoy. Read more »

Tonight on Bachelor Pad: Hurt feelings over botched boob jobs and burgeoning new romances at romantic beach dinners. Two liars and jerks got sent home and a bunch of other liars and jerks are one step closer to going home at a later date. You know. The usual. Here‘s what went down in the PAD: Read more »

Last night on a special Labor Day edition of Bachelor Pad: Silly carnival games, sexual manipulation, gratuitous and ineffectual strategizing and about 600 mentions of "love" between the dysfunctional remaining couples. Just like every night on Bachelor Pad! God Bless America.But you still want to know all the ridiculous minutiae. Which is why you will read on: Read more »

You probably have at least one friendship that blossomed, if not entirely formed, out of a mutual love for a television program. Whether you‘re raving or ranting, watching TV with friends brings us all closer together. (Why do you think we call ourselves BuddyTV?) Well, for fellow BuddyTV writer Carla Patton (who‘s currently getting Real with the ‘wives and realizing America has not Got much Talent) and me, that special bond was forged in the fiery loins of the Bachelor and Bachelorette franchise. The fights. The tears. The cheesy, unrealistic dates and dramatic, drawn-out rose ceremonies. And, most dear to our cruel, tandem hearts: All the second-hand embarrassment. Out of jaded jokes and genuine obsession, a friendship was born.Which is why it pains us so much--though I don‘t think my cynical recapping method has suffered all that much for it--that Bachelor Pad is just so, so, so, so terrible. Not "so bad it‘s good" bad. Just flat-out bad. We get no simultaneous joy from watching these pretty morons preen and ploy and plot against each other, all while weakly professing their watered-down love for one another. It‘s painful. It makes us angry. It hurts our Bachelor-loving, two-sizes-too-small hearts. Read more »

Tonight is the season finale of Bachelor Pad. What? Already? Someone pinch me because this must be a NIGHTMARE. Why would ABC give us such a powerful and magical gift, only to steal it away again so soon? The world can be so cruel sometimes. Ah, well. I think I‘ll survive--barely. And at least we have two more hours of bitchering (that‘s the word I just made up for bickering bitches) and one last idiotic challenge to tide us over until Bachelor Pad returns next summer. (Fingers crossed! And hope I don‘t die of anticipation-itis in the meantime!) So this is the end. That means it‘s time to bring back all the crazy characters who made this season so profoundly unlikable and make them rehash all the flimsy drama no one cares about for one last time.  Which means: What‘s new with Michelle? Is she still crazy? (Yep.) How about Gia and Wes--still two teenagers in lust? (Also yep.) Can I please have a little more Jonathan awkwardness for the road? What about Craig--at least give me one more glimpse of that glorious mane before I die! And also some depressing Elizabeth and Kovacs dysfunction. Please? I‘ve been so good this year!So let‘s all watch these Bachelor Pad finale videos. And then let‘s all watch the finale at 8pm tonight on ABC. And then let‘s all hibernate until next summer, because what‘s the point without my Pad?  Read more »

It‘s finally here! The not so anticipated finale of Bachelor Pad, in which we find out which of the three remaining "power couples" (what is it about that term in this context that still gives me the hearty LOLs?) made up of the "cool kids" (again, LOL-barf) who easily coasted their way through a small number of idiotic carnival games will win an unquestionable undeserved $250,000, as voted on by a group of their peers (fellow jerks, some of whom empirically proved earlier this season that they don‘t know the difference between right and left). America: This is our game show. Are you happy?Tonight, on the Bachelor Pad finale: In hour one, it‘s a Bachelor-Dancing with the Stars mashup (because those don‘t happen often enough) as the remaining three couples must dance to the death (I wish). Hour two: The final two couples duke it out for the money in front of a live studio audience and all of this season‘s eliminated contestants. Hour three: I cry myself to sleep.Who will win? (Who cares?) I guess we both do. Let‘s get through this together. Read more »

Now that the horrible abomination known as Bachelor Pad has closed its doors on our nightmares forever (we hope), it‘s time to get back to serious business. And by serious business, I mean: "Who will be the next man to make out in a million hot tubs on his way to short-lived romantic happiness?" The short answer: We still don‘t know. But an anonymous inside source (gotta trust those!) is now telling People that ABC has narrowed down their pool of potential rose-givers to two men from Ali‘s Bachelorette season: Cape Cod dreamboat, rainbow lover Chris Lambton or Southern crooner, "traditional marriage" fan Ty Brown. Read more »

"I‘m #1 at being #2."Leave it Kiptyn Locke to see the silver lining in his perpetual runner-up status. After losing the hand of Jillian Harris on The Bachelorette last year, Locke returned to ABC‘s reality romance franchise on Bachelor Pad, and last week fans watched as he and partner Tenley Molzahn (a former Bachelor runner-up herself) lost the $250,000 prize to fellow Bachelor alums Natalie Getz and David Good in a group vote. Fortunately, it‘s not hard to see the silver lining here. Locke and Molzahn, fan favorites for their good natures and sportsmanship, were the only contestants to leave with the show‘s other, arguable even more valuable, prize: A blossoming new relationship.And Locke, a philanthropist and event coordinator, hasn‘t let a lack of prize money keep him from moving forward on his latest charitable project: Hope Rose, a gift-giving service that also gives back.We spoke to Locke this week about Hope Rose, his experience on Bachelor Pad and his future with Tenley, and were happy to find that he‘s just as gracious and goodhearted as we all saw on TV. Here‘s what he had to say. Read more »

We‘ve seen some truly outrageous things happen over the span of 20 Bachelor(ette) seasons and one of the even more insane Bachelor Pad, but if rumors prove true and ex-Bachelor Brad Womack is about to brush himself off and try again on season 15, that might just take the cake.We‘ll find out soon enough if Brad, so badly maligned for rejecting both his finalists on season 11, is willing to risk his reputation once more to look for love on TV. ABC reps have announced that the newest Bachelor will be announced during Dancing with the Stars next Monday, September 27, the taping of which he will attend with a buddy: Bachelor host Chris Harrison.A couple days ago, People posted info from an anonymous source saying Bachelorette alums Chris Lambton and Ty Brown were the frontrunners for the next Bachelor gig, but since then Brad‘s name has floated to the top of the rumor pile.  Read more »

Most of us believe in giving second chances, but does that charitable spirit apply to our Bachelors?ABC is banking on it, as they announced tonight during the live airing of Dancing with the Stars that tall, handsome and once nationally scorned Bachelor 11 Brad Womack, the 37-year-old bar owner from Austin, Texas famous for rejecting both his finalists the first time around, will reprise his soulmate-seeking role as Bachelor 15 this winter. This news should come as no surprise to those who have been tracking the spoilers. But ABC did their best to try to punk the Dancing audience this evening. After host Chris Harrison tweeted that he would be sitting next to the new Bachelor, viewers were shocked to see Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad contestant Jonathan Novack, known to have all the romantic charisma of a baby weasel, sitting in Harrison‘s shotgun seat. Call it ABC‘s way of tricking us into feeling relieved when they actually announced Womack‘s name.Dancing with the Stars host Tom Bergeron had some sage words of advice for Womack: "Brad, this time, pick somebody."The redemption storyline for Brad has already started, and we can look forward to it only snowballing until the next Bachelor season begins in early 2011: Read more »

It‘s that time of year again: School is starting, the leaving are falling ... and Bachelor spoilers abound.Want the latest on what‘s in store for returning Bachelor Brad Womack and his cast of aspiring wives? Keep reading.But first, let‘s get the non-spoilery stuff out of the way:  Read more »

Brad Womack. Bernie Lomax. Beyond their eerily similar names, at first glance you might not see the similarities in their stories. But as a professional Bachelor blogger who just can‘t help taking my work home with me, a casual weekend viewing of Weekend at Bernie‘s 2 turned into a true revelation: They‘re exactly the same. Well, maybe not exactly. But read these 10 connections between the 1993 goofy comedy sequel and the romantic reality show coming to your TV in January of 2011, and you‘ll discover: My theory‘s got legs. (Rigor mortised legs.)  Read more »

If you‘re looking for a non-sarcastic take on the latest Bachelor and Bachelorette "news" ... this probably isn‘t the right place for you. If you look at Jake Pavelka and still think, "my dreamboat!" ... also probably the wrong place. (And the wrong boat.) But if you want the "news" with a hefty slice of "uh, what now?" then you‘re home, Bachelor(ette) fans! Here‘s what‘s been cooking in the Bachelor kitchen lately:  Read more »

UPDATE: Julien Hug‘s father spoke with US Weekly and revealed that Hug died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. "He left a letter for me, his mom, co-workers, his girlfriend at the time. He wanted us to know it was his only way out." Read more here. Our original story follows:Restaurateur Julien Hug, who competed on The Bachelorette season 5 with Jillian Harris, was found dead off a highway in the Southern California desert. Reports San Diego‘s 10News:"Bertrand Hug told 10News Julien was on his way to help manage the family‘s newest restaurant in Palm Desert, Augusta Modern. He said two days ago his son‘s phone went dead while he was driving somewhere on Highway 74 in Riverside County, which was the last time anyone had heard from him." Hug‘s body was found Wednesday and identified Thursday. The cause of death is not yet known, but 10News also reports that authorities said they should know by Friday.  Read more »

Sometimes when worlds collide, the result is a magical mash-up of two great things that actually become greater when combined. See: Peanut butter and jelly, rubber duckies and bathtubs, or chocolate and nougat as Finn pointed out on Glee last night. And sometimes, when worlds collide, it makes you wish an actual apocalypse would happen as a result, because sometimes it‘s all (this existence) just too much. And yet, those worlds that are colliding--they make sense, when you think about it. This is one of those times, and it is somehow both deeply horrifying and completely logical to me, especially as the resident Jersey Shore and Bachelorette recapper at BuddyTV: Angelina "dirty hamster" Pivarick and Justin "Rated R for Ridiculously Obnoxious" Rego are apparently an "item" after hooking up in Vegas over the weekend. They seem to have bonded over the fact that everyone living with them on their respective reality shows, and most people watching, vehemently hated them. How sweet. Angelina was more than happy to speak at length about the liaison to whomever would listen (that would be RadarOnline): Read more »

It looks like Jake Pavelka‘s dreams of being a big Hollywood actor weren‘t so realistic after all. After a terrible performance on Drop Dead Diva, Jake‘s Actor Phone went dead. Who saw this one coming? As a result, Jake is back in the skies as a commercial pilot--the role he was born to play (after "sociopath" and "Ken doll" were taken). UsMagazine.com reports that Pavelka piloted a Delta flight from Atlanta to Augusta on October 24th."The flight attendant asked us not to tell anyone because he didn‘t want it to be known," a passenger reported. This brings two scenarios to mind:  Read more »

In a little over a month, we will see Brad Womack‘s second attempt at finding Bachelor love premiere on ABC. But who says you have to wait until January 3 to kickstart your Bachelor obsession again?Here‘s the latest from Bachelor-land, including three preview clips and the latest spoilers from Reality Steve: Read more »

"I know in my heart that I am very, very ready to fall in love."If you‘re not ready to hear those types of sentiments come out of Brad Womack‘s mouth over and over for two hours every week, then sorry, but you‘re not ready for The Bachelor to premiere January 3. If my excitement over this new preview for The Bachelor: Brad‘s Do-Over (or whatever they‘re calling it) is any indication, I am SO ready. The following preview is absolutely chock-full of Bachelor cliches, and I honestly wouldn‘t have it any other way. Every season of The Bachelor is essentially the same, and that is why we love it! We‘ve seen everything, from the helicopter dates, to the champagne toasts, to the jealous glances in the hot tub, before. It never gets old.So if ABC wants to go FULLY green with their show and recycle a Bachelor, why not? The show looks just as dramatic, deluded and absolutely DELICIOUS as ever! Watch the preview, and follow along with my list of cliches below:  Read more »

Welcome to The GBU, a weekly column coming every Monday where I look at the Good, the Bad and the Ugly on TV.December is a time to look back at the year that was in television, and I‘m starting with reality TV. From Simon Cowell‘s American Idol swan song to Prince Poppycock on America‘s Got Talent to Derek Hough‘s back-to-back Mirror Ball trophies on Dancing with the Stars, there were a lot of huge events this year in the world of reality television.  Read more »

I‘ll have a full recap of The Bachelor season 15 premiere when it airs January 3. Until then, here‘s my initial assessment of how Brad will fair as our first do-over Bachelor:By now you know that the upcoming season of The Bachelor is going to be a little different, simply by virtue of the show‘s attempt to keep one key element the same as a season past: For the first time, we‘re getting a repeat Bachelor. Disgraced Bachelor #12, Brad Womack, is back to try his luck and find a wife on season 15. But for Brad, this return to The Bachelor is about a lot more than finding love: It‘s about finding redemption. In the upcoming premiere, Brad openly admits that America thought he was a total jerk when he publicly dumped Deanna and Jenni back in 2007. Within minutes he‘s called himself a jerk, compared himself to his absent father and admitted to seeking years of therapy to change his callous and commitment-phobic ways. "I was a broken man," he says, and though he peppers these vulnerable admissions with the promise that he‘s now a "changed man," one part of himself still seems to be in pieces: His confidence. This makes for a distinctly different Bachelor premiere than ever before. Because it‘s a total bummer.  Read more »

For Bachelorette and Bachelor Pad fans, this is some random, absurd, rather hilarious news. For everyone else, just thank your stars you don‘t know what I‘m talking about and kindly move along. OK, here we go:According to E! Online, former Bachelorette contestant Jonathan "The Weatherman" Novack is joining Skating with the Stars on Monday, apparently as an "understudy" for food poisoned Disney starBrandon Mychal Smith. Now, I don‘t watch Skating with the Stars, but I noticed three major things wrong with that sentence I just wrote. First, "The Weatherman" is not a "star." He is a celestial sidedish, at best. And I mean the kind of sidedish that people only eat when there‘s nothing else to eat or because it‘s comical. Like those weird mini corncobs. (And yes: Whether any of the other "stars" on this show qualify for that title is very debatable.) Second, Skating with the Stars has its FINALE next week, and it‘s a competition show. You can‘t just jump into the 100-meter dash at the last 10 meters, cross the finish line with everyone else and pretend you have any entitlement to a rank, a prize or even some measly recognition. That‘s cheating! And third, "UNDERSTUDY"? Don‘t make me laugh, Skating with the Stars. You are not Broadway. Good grief, it‘s like even YOU don‘t think of yourself as a real TV show.And listen, Skating with the Stars. I‘m guessing you‘re trying to appeal to people like me with this casting, because I loved "The Weatherman" on The Bachelorette. Openly loved him. But that was a specific case, in which his talents (or lack thereof) were perfectly suited for that schadenfreude-ridden spectacle of a show. That doesn‘t mean I want to watch him iceskate! Or watch him do anything besides cluelessly fight for some lady-love. But if I had to choose, here are 5 things I would RATHER watch "The Weatherman" do than go Skating with the Stars: Read more »

Here are the highlights from returning Bachelor Brad Womack‘s conference call from yesterday, in which reporters grilled him about feelings, very much in the same way that the women on The Bachelor will grill him about feelings on the first episode. He‘s getting good at this! Questions in bold. Brad‘s answers in non-bold. My commentary in italics. Good ol‘ slanting italics, like ready-made sarcasm.Did you feel that pressure going in and throughout filming the show that "if I don‘t pick someone at the end, I‘m screwed"? Brad Womack: No, not at all. You know something, I almost sound like a jerk when I say this, but you know, love and all of it, I take that very seriously, and not a chance would I let anyone pressure me to make any kind of decision like that, any decision at all for that matter. So, I definitely make my own decisions and felt no pressure. I can truthfully say that. [...]  Even though I would have been publicly exiled, I would have walked away again. So I didn‘t feel pressure, but I‘m happy to say I did fall in love and I‘ve very, very happy. So I‘m grateful to have had a second chance. Brad thinks he sounds like a jerk for saying that he takes love seriously, and would never let someone pressure him into proposing. I think he‘d sound like a jerk if he said the opposite. Romance reality television is still weird. Also, "publicly exiled"? As a public, we should probably reassess how and why we exile, you guys. That sounds way too extreme, even for us.  Read more »

The powers-that-be at ABC were smart/cruel enough to include a brief questionnaire with each of the 30 Bachelor contestants‘ information when they released their identities this week, and boy oh boy, is the information enlightening! And entertaining. Enlightertaining, I think is the word. Yes that‘s totally the word that I am thinking of because of how it exists. And no, they did not ask the women about their political affiliations, or their thoughts about how the public school system is failing our youth, or whether they have any history of sex changes. Weird, I know! Instead they asked them what they would take on a desert island, what their most embarrassing dating moments were, and how they feel about "romance." ("Just the essentials, ma‘am. Just the essentials.")Here are all the surveys (plus photos of all the ladiezzzz) if you‘re a "qualitative data" sort of Bachelor research analyst. But I took the liberty of sending the data back to the lab, and thought it my duty to present my findings to the group. I think you, my Bachelor colleagues, will find them highly enlightertaining: Read more »

Dear ABC,Let me begin by saying: I‘m a big fan of The Bachelor. Yes, it‘s unrealistic and quaintly, openly sexist. And yes, the contestants are obnoxious, superficial and as self-satisfied as they are self-unaware. And yes, at almost any given moment you could wipe the excess cheese off the screen and use it to top a million crackers. Still, The Bachelor, the granddaddy of reality romance shows, still has its charms, twisted as they may be. It‘s about loooove. It‘s about slow-twirling and slow-dancing and slow-kissing. And it‘s proven that, even as we all know the show‘s process almost never works, it‘s still a fun process to watch. (And, as you‘re fond of reminding us, it did work that one time.) The Bachelor is a beast--but a friendly, familiar, benign beast that understands its purpose and never strays from its safe little corner full of candles and roses. I‘m truly fond of it. It has been the inspiration of some of my best work, and some truly enjoyable viewing experiences. Read more »

Less than a week until The Bachelor premieres and Brad Womack graces our TV screens once more! And you thought the season of gift-giving was over.OK, but in all seriousness: I know some of us aren‘t so stoked about Brad the Bachelor 2.0, but this new extended trailer reveals some positive signs for the upcoming season. As in, DRAMA. Watch as the women turn on each other, tears are shed, and a few villains make their mark, maybe even literally. According to the trailer (which, we need to remember, have a history of being much less than truthful) one contestant wakes up with a black eye. Did a jealous Janice bodyslam her face in her sleep? Plus, a proposal! Maybe? WATCH: Read more »

Do you have a New Year‘s Resolution? Around this time, most people make resolutions to lose weight or go to the gym more, or at least to shave off some "holiday pounds." Sometimes we wish TV shows would make similar resolutions. If they would only trim a little fat, or cut out certain aspects all-together! Here are some shows we wish would trim up a bit.Dexter: trim the LaGuerta/Batista romance subplot. At the end of Season 5 they were like, "let‘s start over," and we were like, "Noooo! Let it die!" Because there was nothing less interesting than their marital problems when killers and vigilantes were on the loose. Make it stop, or at least don‘t let it take up half of an episode.  Read more »

To kick things off, I have a confession to make: I did not watch Brad Womack‘s previous season of The Bachelor. Three long years ago (500 million years in Internet time), when Brad was just an unknown bar owner from Texas lookin‘ for luv, I was into other stuff, like books, and being outside, and not spending two hours every week watching plastic-faced people talk about how amazing each other are. (Obviously, since then, things have changed, for me and for Brad. These days I‘ve burned all my books in my indoor fireplace, because I HATE being outside. And Brad hates himself!)And yet, as I sit down to write this recap of Brad‘s Bachelor Adventure Part 2, I truly feel like I watched his first go-round. Like I was right there with you when Brad "shockingly" dumped Deanna Pappas and Jenni Croft (didn‘t watch; still know their names and what they look like when they cry) and became "the most hated man in America." (Take THAT, bin Laden!) Maybe that‘s because every season of The Bachelor is essentially the same. Or maybe that‘s just how pervasive this Bachelor business is in our culture--and how dutifully I always study tabloid covers in the check-out lines. Whatever the case, even though I didn‘t watch Brad the first time, I can tell you this much after watching him tonight: I‘m already sick of him. What a self-loathing robo-drag! Are we really going to have to put up with three months of him apologizing for dumping the first batch of women to the new women who volunteered to get dumped by him? Because if we are, this is going to be me, in writing, every single week. Get ready.Anyway. The premiere. Sad Brad. Looking for love. Lusting after ladiezzz. Lamenting his loserdom. It all happened; let‘s talk about it. TO THE RECAP! Read more »

In Bachelor-land, at least if these videos and photos are any indication, the answer is YES. Tonight the ladies will film Red Cross PSAs with Brad, and, shockingly, their priorities are not getting the organization‘s message across. See for yourself in this sneak peek from tonight‘s episode, plus two deleted scenes from last week‘s premiere, including another speech from Renee, the sad Barefoot Bandit who kept trying (and failing) to steal Brad away.They‘re each ridiculous in their way, but if you watch just one of these videos, make it the last one. Read more »

In this new segment, I read what Brad Womack and Chris Harrison write in their post-show Bachelor blogs, and tell you what I think they‘re really saying. Or what they‘re really not saying because it would be inappropriate for them to say it. I will say that something. As inappropriately as possible. Because someone needs* to. This is the first installment. (*I have a different definition of "need" than the rest of the world.)Let‘s tackle Chris Harrison first, because it is just inherently amusing that he writes as though he had a big orchestrating hand in the goings-on of this show. How long was he on screen last night? Two total minutes, maybe? Not saying his job isn‘t important (oh wait, yes I am) but I AM saying that it is a great job. But you know what Chris is not very good at, job-wise? Straight-shootin‘:"We here at The Bachelor are very happy to be partnering up with the American Red Cross to shine an entertaining light on a very serious topic."Oh, you mean trivializing and degrading it with sex and terrible acting? Great job!"I checked, and there really is a Best of Eddie Money album. Who knew?"C‘mon, Chris. I see what you‘re doing here with your bizarre non sequiturs. Let‘s stay on topic. Read more »

Two hours of The Bachelor on Monday night is definitely not enough, am I right? Every time our weekly movie-length episode is over, I find myself involuntarily pounding my fists on my knees and  shattering my empty wine bottle on the hardwood floor while screaming, "MORE! I need MORE!" And I bet I‘m not alone.Thankfully, ABC hears our pleas for more, more, MORE Bachelor. This is their weekly batch of extras for our collective enjoyment. In this batch: Emily prepares to tell Brad about her past, more Raichel and Melissa madness, a "Devil Voice" competition and the Diaries of the Departed. So ... enjoy! Read more »

WOW. The Bachelor was an overflowing bucket of nutjob tonight, wasn‘t it, you guys? Is it seriously only Week 2? I feel like I‘ve already spent months with Brad reliving his childhood traumas and hearing him work through his debilitating "commitment issues." Maybe if I was his therapist getting paid $500 an hour to listen to him reexamine his life, I‘d be fine with that, but as a lowly blogger, I must say: Brad, I‘m SPENT with your problems. Just put on your damn prince crown and play the part. I‘ve got enough on my plate without you getting into the insecurity game!Speaking of which: What about these women, who went from total strangers to total bloodthirsty balls of tears and terror in the course of a week? Did you know they hold Bachelor casting calls at mental outpatient facilities and under fairytale bridges? Is there an expression like "the claws came out," but where you replace "claws" with "staggering delusions"? Somebody call Timothy Olyphant, because THE CRAZIES have taken over! And it‘s only WEEK 2! But that‘s OK. Let‘s just breathe, write, drink, look at funny pictures of these women embarrassing themselves, and get through this together.  Read more »

Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, everybody! Who wants to celebrate by watching the whitest show on television? (You. You do. That is why you are here.) Tonight: Brad and his gaggle of remaining women embark on one awkward adventure after another that tests their (and OUR!) fortitude, patience and tolerance for a variety of tortures, the worst of which is Michelle, who should really have gotten billing in the credits as tonight‘s narrator, since she wouldn‘t SHUT UP and ABC wouldn‘t STOP LETTING HER NOT SHUT UP. It‘s like that famous quote, the one that goes, "All that is required for evil to prevail is for reality TV producers to stand by and let crazy bitches yap on and on all day long." Well, I won‘t stand idly by. I will make fun of her and all the dumb stuff she says to until the bitter (BITTER) end. Such is my joy and my job and my curse and my duty. Let‘s go:  Read more »

In this segment, I read what Brad Womack and Chris Harrison write in their post-show Bachelor blogs, and tell you what I think they‘re really saying. Or what they‘re really not saying because it would be inappropriate for them to say it. I will say that something. As inappropriately as possible. Because someone needs* to. This is the second installment. (*Put "needs" in sarcastic mental air quotes.)Once again, we begin with Chris Harrison, who set his own obsolescence bar impossibly high this week after being replaced by Brad‘s actual therapist. How will he insist upon his own importance and involvement in The Bachelor this week? Let‘s find out!"I‘d like to start this week by talking about another dramatic show that I hosted, The 90th Annual Miss America Pageant. It was an honor -- as a TV host, there are a few jobs out there that you always look forward to checking off your bucket list, and that is one of them."Oops, that‘s your bucket list. Be careful not to dream too big. Read more »

There is no question that, besides angelic Emily, who is (sorry, excuse me, move OVER Miss Nebraska!) officially America‘s sweetheart, Michelle Money is the breakout star of The Bachelor this season. Michelle is both the narrator and the villain of this story, coyly acting out careful strategies of manipulation and destruction while freely verbalizing her fantasies about murdering her competition every step of the way. She‘s like a female Dexter, but without the moral code. OR IS SHE? Could it all be an act? A way to get a bunch of sensational publicity, not unlike the very sensational publicity I am providing in this very article? Watch this interview in which Michelle talks about her MAJOR MOTION PICTURE career, and you be the judge. Then check out three more short and sweet Bachelor videos from the week. Read more »

I ought to be honest now, since I was so blatantly honest then: I was probably Madison‘s biggest critic when she rolled onto the Bachelor lot with a carefully constructed air of mystery and a pair of vampire fangs. It just seemed too intentionally dishonest and bizarre--even for this show. But in the three weeks she appeared on The Bachelor, Madison transformed--and no, I don‘t mean into a bat. Her facade came down, and--perhaps proving that this show can still surprise us in its 20th season, if you want to think of it that way--Madison became one of the most sincere and likable bachelorettes in the batch. And then, just as quickly, she left, saying the whole thing wasn‘t for her. It goes to show an old adage: First impressions aren‘t always accurate. And it tacks on a new caveat: Even less so when those impressions are cut up and edited for TV.But what about Madison‘s impressions of the other women, and of Brad? Why did she decide to walk out, and who does she hope takes home the final rose? She spoke candidly with the press this morning in a conference call. Here‘s what she had to say: Read more »

Welcome to the newest feature in our ever-expanding Bachelor universe on BuddyTV: Bachelor Bitchin‘! In an effort to get you talking, laughing and, most of all, thinking (because that‘s what The Bachelor is FOR!) each week Carla and I will pose a Bachelor-related question and hash it out. But we don‘t have all the answers. So leave yours in the comments! (Note: Sarcasm is optional.)Carla: What‘s the sexiest thing about Brad?Meghan: Definitely his crippling insecurity.Meghan: And how his facial muscles don‘t convey emotion.Carla: Abandonment issues.Carla: Beady eeeeeyes!Meghan: Spent some time in the clink.Carla: Thinks "making movies" is a good date.Meghan: Once voluntarily changed his last name to "Pickelsimer."  Read more »

The other morning I was putting on my mascara when something occurred to me: With all the crying and swimming they do, there should be a lot more runny mascara on the ladies of The Bachelor. Then I remembered last week, when Sarah P. got dumped and it looked like she was auditioning for the part of the Black Swan. And that‘s when it occurred to me that there is probably a person whose entire job it is to clean up (or NOT clean up, for dramatic reasons) runny mascara on the set of The Bachelor. And it made me really sad. Sad for that person whose job is awful. And sad for the women, always crying and forever alone. But mostly for myself, whose brain has been so completely infiltrated by this show that I think about it even when I‘m not thinking at all, and involuntarily compose theories (I‘ve got more!) about it in my free time. I guess what I‘m saying is that I‘m sort of afraid this is my calling in life. But that‘s appropriate because, according to tonight‘s episode of The Bachelor, dating is all about fear. And torture. Why shouldn‘t writing about it be, too?   But enough about my all-consuming pain-and-joy cycle of recapping The Bachelor (and how that is a fitting metaphor for the show itself ... UGH I CAN‘T STOP, I TOLD YOU!), because did you hear Michelle got a black eye in her SLEEP? "I wish I had given it to her. I want to rip her head off," says Ashley S. Yes, Miss S. We all do. We ALL DO. Let‘s talk about why.HERE COMES THE BRIDE RECAP:  Read more »

In this segment, I read what Brad Womack and Chris Harrison write in their post-show Bachelor blogs, and tell you what I think they‘re really saying. Or what they‘re really not saying.Aye aye aye, what a Bachelor week! Michelle continued to be the mayor of Lunatic-ville, Ashley H. moved there and ran for city council, and Chantal was basically that woman who mostly keeps to herself but then shows up to PTA meetings and yells obscenities. (What? I don‘t know. I have a Bachelor hangover after last night‘s recap. Please do me a favor and read it. That will help heal my brain.)You know what else will help? Making fun of the words that Chris Harrison and Brad typed up about this week‘s episode. Let‘s see how they equivocate their inside stories this week!First, a fun fact! Did you know Chris Harrison is still ON this show? According to his blog, he is. According to my TV, he‘s not. This ranks up there with the "How‘d Michelle get a black eye?" mystery! Speaking of which ... let‘s see what Chris has to say about that: Read more »

Ready for a hefty serving of Bachelor news, broken up by categories, illustrated by videos and accompanied by a dose of snark? Hope so, because here it comes.Brad and Bettina Bell:Remember Bettina Bell, Brad‘s second runner-up from his first time as The Bachelor? (No? Well, that‘s who Bettina is.) And apparently she‘s in Life & Style this week spilling her guts, saying that Brad was "pursuing her like crazy" before he got the call that his second-go-around was a go. She said they began dating in October 2009 and that he dumped her last summer--around the time he became Bachelor Brad again."Out of nowhere he went MIA," Bell tells Life & Style. And she was shocked to hear of his return to TV: "He said it was a bad experience. He was really negative about it," she said, though the appeal of a comeback is obvious. "The show has 18 million viewers. It can open a lot of doors."Is she telling the truth? Were she and Brad happily together until he dumped her out of the blue (again) like a total jerk (again) just to get paid a bunch of money to date a bunch of other women (again)? Do we care? Will Brad just keep dating and dumping and re-dating the same women until there are no TV shows or no women left, whichever comes first? What is "truth"? Does anything even matter? Can I go home now?No, I can‘t. Not until I share the rest of this vital Bachelor news with you: Read more »

Probably because the three ladies eliminated from The Bachelor this week barely got to speak on TV and the producers weren‘t about to let any of them start yappin‘ now, host Chris Harrison spoke to the media today about his unique perspective on all the drama on and off the show. Guess what: He thinks that The Bachelor is the "ultimate soap opera," because it‘s real. Um. Well that certainly is a unique perspective. (Meaning no one else thinks that. But no one else gets paid to hand out roses, either, so who‘s to say who‘s winning at the game of life, us or Chris? I think it might be Chris.)For more Chris Harrison thoughts on Brad, Michelle, Bettina Bell and that "controversial" NASCAR date, read on:  Read more »

Gather round, my fellow Bachelor armchair psychiatrists, because we now have hard, sneak-peeky proof that something is Very, Very Wrong with Michelle. I mean, more proof. The question is: Why is she such a maniac?Please watch this video of [real life Disney villain?] [real life crazy person?] [fake life actress-faker?] Michelle Money going into full-on tyrant mode, and then join me after the video to assess her symptoms and give our diagnosis. Read more »

What would happen if Survivor and Bachelor Pad had a love child, and that love child was raised by mankind‘s cruelest mistress of all, the jungle? Next summer we will find out, thanks to NBC, who are doing their part to make MILF Island a quasi-reality with their next reality show, Love in the Wild. The Hollywood Reporter reports from Hollywood:"Twenty men and women will pair up each week in the middle of the jungle. Each couple is dropped into a remote location with nothing but a map and each other to rely on. Along the way, they‘re put through challenges that test them emotionally and physically. At the end of the day, some of the couples will be treated to various romantic indulgences at a romantic oasis. After, they‘ll have the choice of staying with their partner or switching for the next challenge." Read more »

When Vampire Diaries and Supernatural Collide Here‘s some juicy Vampire Diaries casting news to sink your teeth into. The mysterious town of Mystic Falls is about to land a new sexy vampire (is there any other kind). The show has cast Lauren Cohan to play the role of 500 year old Rose. We don‘t know much about her character but her character but we can bet that this sexy "young" vamp will make a pass at Damon.Hardcore CW fans surely will remember Cohan as Bela Talbot from season 3 of Supernatural. Bela was a tough as nails character who got the best of both the brothers so she should have no trouble winning over Damon. She will first show up in the eighth episode titled "Rose." What do you think Vampire Diaries fans? Are you excited for Rose? [Zap2it] Read more »