September 2, 2008
Last week on America's Got Talent, we watched for four excruciatingly long hours as 20 members of the top 40 attempted to entertain us. Some of the acts were horrendous, such as George the Giant, who pretended to be a piñata, let children beat him with baseball bats, then appeared shocked when the judges booed him. Other acts were just strange, such as the group of seven-foot-tall inflatable animals known as the ZOOperstars. Amidst all the insufferable pseudo-talents that made me long for the sweet release of death, there were a few performers actually worthy of praise. I won't be forgetting Jessica Price's touching rendition of "Time After Time" anytime soon.
On tonight's episode of America's Got Talent, 10 more acts take the stage and attempt to win over the Hoff and his British comrades.
August 28, 2008
I have quite the epic love/hate relationship with NBC. If NBC and I were characters on a TV show, we'd be the couple who bickers non-stop before eventually falling into bed together for a wild night of passion. I have to respect the network for supporting shows like Friday Night Lights, 30 Rock and The Office, but I also loathe them for resurrecting junk like American Gladiators and Knight Rider when they could be taking creative risks. NBC has a split personality, and that makes our relationship rather complicated.
As if to prove that they have no desire to fix this problem, NBC has announced that they've ordered more episodes of one of their best shows and one of their worst. The good news is that Chuck will have a full second season consisting of 22 episodes. The bad news is that America's Got Talent won't be going away anytime soon.
August 27, 2008
Last night on America's Got Talent, over 10 million viewers watched as 10 of the top 40 acts performed for our amusement. Some of the performances were legitimately entertaining, such as Jessica Price's moving rendition of "Time After Time," and others were completely underwhelming, such as DC Cowboys reenacting the end of The Full Monty without any stripping. Tonight's installment gives us 10 more performances and also reveals how viewers voted after last night's episode. Will anything be as thrilling as watching Shimshi the magician do a flip and kick a card in mid-air? Let's find out!
August 26, 2008
Michael Phelps is old news. The guy may have won eight gold medals and broken all kinds of records during the Olympics, but his accomplishments seem unimpressive now that America's Got Talent is back. Sure, Phelps has abs of steel and a face like butter, but how can he compare to the cheerleading squad known as the Dallas Desperados Dancers? Or famed sideshow performer George the Giant? The AGT top 40 truly showcases the most amazing talent America has to offer.
With that sarcasm out of the way, let's move on to tonight's big return of America's Got Talent, which features performances from 10 of the top 40 acts.
August 12, 2008
I'm always slightly wary when decisions are left in the hands of the American public, which is why I never watch the People's Choice Awards. The people believe that Stargate Atlantis is the best sci-fi show on television and that Rascal Flatts is the best band on the planet. That scares me. In my quest to ensure that mediocrity not be rewarded yet again, it's time for me to weigh in on America's Got Talent. Due to an injury sustained by one of the people in the top 40, America gets to decide which formerly ousted act should come back and take the final spot. Viewers can currently vote for one of eight acts over at NBC.com, but who truly deserves the honor? Let's take a look at the nominees.
August 7, 2008
The sadistic programming execs over at NBC are under the impression that we need three-and-a-half hours of America's Got Talent this week. Maybe these episodes are meant to tide us over during the Olympics, which begin tomorrow and will preempt the show until August 26. Sure, people doing gymnastics and running track is impressive, but what will we do without our Ozzy Osbourne impersonators and four-year-old singing sensations? Where are their gold medals?
On Tuesday's episode of America's Got Talent, the 113 acts were whittled down to 60. Tonight, the top 40 will finally be determined. Will Man Tina and Boy Britney both make the cut?
August 5, 2008
The audition rounds of America's Got Talent have finally come to an end, which means that every act we see from here on out should have at least a modicum of talent. That's assuming that judges Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne and Michael Knight, aka the Hoff, were actually paying attention when they let people through to Vegas. It's possible they were zoning out, thinking of the olden days of Baywatch, The Osbournes, and whatever Piers Morgan did before becoming the low-rent version of Simon Cowell. If that was the case, we may have to suffer through more shaky singers, cheesy magicians and wacky celebrity impersonators.
Tonight's two-hour episode sends all the America's Got Talent hopefuls to Las Vegas, where they'll compete in the hopes of securing a place in the top 40.
July 29, 2008
America must really have a heck of a lot of talent, because the audition rounds for America's Got Talent have been going on for approximately 200 years. Tonight finally marks the last of the audition rounds, meaning that we're nearly done suffering through Burger Kings who recite Shakespeare and retail clerks who dance to Lionel Ritchie songs. On this week's episode, the Hoff and his two cohorts judge MySpace submissions, which brings out a whole new breed of freaks, weirdos, and Tila Tequila wannabes. Who will have what it takes to make it to next week's Las Vegas callbacks?