Tonight on a very special episode of The Bachelorette, the producers proved what weve known all along: This show doesnt need to be two hours long. After gracefully cramming Alis sleep-inducing (oh, excuse me, "fairytale") adventures into about an hour--more like 40 minutes if you dont count commercials and gratuitous teasers--The Bachelorette and Chris Harrison treated us to that much-anticipated Jake and Vienna interview, in the same way that John Wilkes Booth "treated" Abraham Lincoln to a bullet in the head, or the Cloverfield monster "treated" New York to the bottoms of its monster-feet. But worse: "Wait, before you bash my head in with your big, nasty monster feet, can you please define the word undermine and then talk about the merits of various bedroom furniture organizational methods, please, oh please, Mr. Cloverfield monster?" And the Cloverfield monster is like, "DON"T INTERRUPT ME!" and then stomps. What a treat for EVERYONE!
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