Previously on Love in the Wild: I reviewed the premiere instead of recapping it, and one commenter got sorta mad at me about it! Fair enough. I know my place (recapping, not opinion-ing). So heres a mini-recap that literally leaves out nothing relevant (because nothing is relevant on this show!): Twenty University of Arizona graduates were dropped into the remote Hilton Ropes Course of Costa Rica, where they paired into hetero super-duos to collect meaningless talismans and forcibly smooch each other. Couple-who-creepily-look-like-each-other Sam and Mike won, earning the prize of smooching some more by a waterfall, or something. Their babies will have big, bushy, beautiful, brunette eyebrows. A guy named Ben was a dick, but a guy named Steele existed, making him automatically worse. Girls named "Kym" and "Vanessa" acted like girls named "Kym" and "Vanessa." Someone had a chinstrap. Bossy Dawn and a guy named Jared couldnt build a raft, lost and were eliminated at the "Couples Choice Ceremony," which sounds like a honeymoon dance youd do at a Hawaiian luau, but here it is an EMOTIONAL dance of SHAME AND HUMILIATION.
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