Hermes Conrad is a certified 37th class bureaucrat who is married to LaBarbara Conrad, with whom he has a son named Dwight. Hermes is Professor Farnsworth’s trusty right hand man, in charge of Planet Express’ daily management and finances. He is also an expert limboist who represented earth at the 2980 Olympics until a fan tried to emulate his limboing and ended up breaking his back. The incident traumatized Hermes so much that he never limboed again after that.
(Photo courtesy of Matt Groening)
[Hermes is under the control of a brain slug, which is attached to his head]
-Hermes Conrad: On to new business. Today's mission is to go to the brain slug planet.
-Dr. Zoidberg: What are we going to do there?
Hermes Conrad: Nothing. Just walk around not wearing a helmet.
[Leela and Hermes are at a concession stand at the track]
-Concession Man: Get your piping hot horse burgers, horse fries, horse cakes and shakes. We got tongue, straight from the horse's mouth.
-Leela: Hmmmmm.
-Hermes Conrad: It all sounds good.
-Concession Man: All our horses are 100% horse-fed for that double-horse "juiced-in" goodness.
-Leela: I'll have the cholesterol-free omelet with horse-beaters.
-Concession Man: And you, sir? How can I horse you?
-Hermes Conrad: I'll have a horse Coke.
-Concession Man: Horse Pepsi okay?
-Hermes Conrad: Neeeiiiggghh.
[Zapp Brannigan and Kif have been hired by Planet Express]
-Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Who are the new people again?
-Hermes Conrad: Da' green dude and da' fat man.