Life is complicated. TV can help. "What Would TV Do?" attempts to explore life's mysteries, problems and everyday situations with the assistance of the life lessons offered by television.
Choosing just the right Christmas tree can be a major ordeal during a busy time of the year. What kind of tree do you need? Where will you put it? And what about the decorations? These questions, swirling through your brain, can take all of the fun out of the Christmas tree experience.
Thankfully, we have television has much to teach us about Christmas trees.
What would TV do?Care for a scraggly tree to make it beautiful.
Thanks to television, everyone knows that a seemingly-useless bit of wood and pine needle can turn into the perfect Christmas tree, if only you have enough of the Christmas spirit. The saddest of twigs can brighten your home! You can have a strong, beautiful lesson on love, hope and the triumph of will to share with your family!
But unless you have your very own Linus to spruce up that Charlie Brown Christmas tree, it's probably easier to start with a bushy, beautiful tree. Choose the most beautiful tree you can find.
It should be big. It should be green. And it should be real.
If you can't manage the perfect tree, television suggests that you scrap the whole thing. That's what Festivus poles are for.Multi-task when Christmas-tree shopping.
The holidays are busy. That's why TV teaches us that there are other activities that you can combine with tree shopping.
Use your tree-shopping time to reconnect with old friends, like Sally and Glen on Mad Men
. But watch out if your family includes a Betty Draper to whisk you away from those friends before the perfect tree is located!
Christmas tree shopping can also fit into your work schedule. The heroine of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
thought she was just browsing trees with her mother, but really Buffy was gathering essential clues to help defeat the First Evil! Find the right place for your tree, but move it if you must.
Television tells us to place the tree in the living room. It should be next to a window (so the neighbors can appreciate your Christmas spirit) and preferably fireplace-adjacent. Make sure there is enough room surrounding the base of the tree to display your Christmas gifts. TV dictates that those gifts be in place several days/weeks before the big day. Don't trip!
Television doesn't actually require that your Christmas tree be inside
the house. You may wish to provide holiday cheer for your partner's incarcerated family members. If so, Bones
showed us that a fully-decorated tree just outside the prison is perfect!
Wherever you place the tree, keep in mind that you can move that tree whenever necessary. Moving Christmas to another house? Take the tree with you. Cancelling Christmas as punishment for lying children? Follow Modern Family
's example and remove the tree altogether.Decorate the tree appropriately.
If you live with your family in the suburbs, you must decorate with perfectly matching, designer ornaments. To show your commitment to family, add one or two of your children's homemade creations on lower branches and toward the back.
Those of you who come from more blue-collar backgrounds or who travel around a lot get more leeway on the tree ornaments. Television allows you to decorate with whatever items are at hand. After all, on Supernatural
, Sam decorated using only car air fresheners -- festive shapes and colors, plus a pleasing aroma!
If you follow television's guidelines, you can look forward to a happy, festive and merry Christmas with just the right tree!(Images courtesy of ***)