Another week, another Mirror Ball dream smashed into a million pieces upon the shiny floor of Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars. Which celebrity disappears in week 2? Find out in this recap!
But not quite yet, of course. The reality-show format insists on waiting. And waiting and waiting and waiting...
In the meantime, there's plenty to keep you occupied. Remind yourself of week 2's DWTS
performances with the BuddyTV recap
! Make a Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars
elimination prediction in the week 2 readers' poll
! Peruse our DWTS
performance rankings and leave a comment yelling at me for my foolish choices!
So much fun, right?
The arrival of actual DWTS
results are set to come later than usual this week, sort of. Instead of just recapping the performance show for an hour, as is customary before Dancing with the Stars: The Results Show
, this week features a look back at each of the dances that stood out for this season's All-Star cast.
In case you miss them, all will be recapped here. So don't worry!
OK, so the important dances that defined each All-Star...Kelly Monaco -- The Samba, season 1
Apparently, Kelly's costume was falling off throughout the entire performance. Yikes. Keeping that bikini top up actually is pretty impressive.Drew Lachey -- The Tango, season 2
Danced in week 6, Drew was nervous about not having had enough time to rehearse. He might have had a lift there...
OK... So my Internet connection crashed for about 15 minutes. Guess you'll have to watch the episode if you want to know about the stars' dances. Sorry!Helio Castroneves -- The Quickstep, season 5
Len Goodman refers to Helio as both a banana and a hummingbird. Helio really loved his jump to start.Melissa Rycroft -- The Lindy Hop, season 8
Polka dots! There were a lot of lifts and flips in this one.Gilles Marini -- The Argentine Tango, season 8
Carrie Ann refers to Gilles as having movie-star good looks. Gilles had a cramp in the middle of the dance. He thinks it helped.Shawn Johnson -- The Cha-Cha, season 8
Walking at the beginning was hard. But in the end, Shawn went to a front-runner.Bristol Palin -- The Argentine Tango, season 11
Other than the bizarre purple costumes, I remember liking this dance pretty well. And she did look pissed. Also, fire!Kirstie Alley -- The Waltz, season 12
This would be the dance in which Kirstie's shoe fell off.
And that's all we get. Now it's time to get some RESULTS
Who do we think will go home? According to the BuddyTV Readers' Poll
, 65 percent think Bristol and Mark are going.
Before they can get to the results, of course, there's the small matter of the encore dance. This week, it's Sabrina and Louis repeating their quickstep.
With that out of the way, we get real RESULTS
! First up are Joey and Kym, Drew and Anna, Emmitt and Cheryl, Sabrina and Louis.Sabrina Bryan and Louis Van Amstel are SAFE!!!
Not a big surprise.Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke are SAFE!!!Drew Lachey and Anna Trebunskaya are SAFE!!!Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson remain in jeopardy.
Hey -- big update: Next week is the inevitable Double Elimination
Before such scary things can happen, however, we get to be entertained by some musical acts. The first of these is Cher Lloyd, who is a British teen singer. I have never heard of her. Which pretty much means she's the biggest thing out there.
It's not time for more of those results yet. Sorry. Instead, we get a Macy's Stars of Dance performance. It seems to involve very dramatic movement, smoke, flashing lights and so on. Also, there are a lot of dancers.
troupe is the next to perform. It's an odd medley of songs.
OMG! More RESULTS
!!! Finally! Said results are for: Shawn and Derek, Bristol and Mark, Kirstie and Maks, Kelly and Val.Shawn Johnson and Derek Hough are SAFE!!!
Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are SAFE!!!
Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy remain in jeopardy.
And...Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas are SAFE!!!
So it's going to be another one of these
While we ponder the horror of exactly what this means for the rest of the season, we can divert ourselves with an operatic (kind of) performance of "Come What May" by Katherine Jenkins and Placido Domingo.
They can't really delay any longer -- the final round of RESULTS has come. The remaining dancers are Helio and Chelsie, Melissa and Tony, Gilles and Peta, Apolo and Karina.Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd are SAFE!!!
Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani are SAFE!!!
Apolo Anton Ohno and Karina Smirnoff are SAFE!!!
Helio Castroneves and Chelsie Hightower remain in jeopardy.
Now it's time for the final RESULTS
of the night!Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy are SAFE!!!
This means Joey and Kym, Helio and Chelsie are the Bottom Two this week.
And...Helio Castroneves and Chelsie Hightower are SAFE!!!
Which meansJoey Fatone and Kym Johnson have been eliminated from Dancing with the Stars: All-Stars in week 2!!!
Well that isn't fun. Sigh.Want to follow Laurel Brown (the super-cool person who wrote this recap) on Twitter? If so, it's easy -- just click here! Dancing, TV, insomnia and more await!(Images courtesy of ABC)