My "fame", or whatever amounts to it, may be miniscule in comparison, but I now know how it feels to be Robert Pattinson, and why it sucks to be him.  Well, you live the life, but your life always goes live everywhere... or was that confusing?  Oh, anyway.  Here comes another Twilight collection, chock-full of details on the beleaguered Brit's post-Twilight life: some amusing, some ridiculous, and some surprisingly revealed to folks like us.  Or I just don't think the same way, which is a given because, as you all know, I'm no fan...

Bite one: Robert's close encounter of the third kind.  First, the funny bit: I don't know if they're referring to Comic-Con, but apparently he was part of a comic book convention of sort, and he went to the restrooms to take a breather, and when he tried to leave the premises, he was greeted by a group of fans dressed as aliens.

Cute, right?  Three girls in alien outfits freaking out Rob.  "They blocked him when he tried to exit," a source told the National Enquirer.  "Robert panicked, but then the alien monsters whipped off their scary headgear and revealed they were just three giggly Earth gal fans!  [He] thought it was a hilarious stunt and gave the girls everything they wanted."

Two things.  One, what did they want?  Abduct him and fly him to Mars?  Autographs, I guess, or photographs.  Okay.  Two, at least they acted better than those fans who mobbed him until he was almost hit by a taxi when he was shooting Remember Me in New York.  Now that is a close encounter.

Bite two: Robert's close encounter with Camilla Belle.  As expected, I didn't know she was his ex-girlfriend.  I only know Camilla was linked to Joe Jonas.  (Wait a minute.  Were Rob and Camilla ever together?  I've been writing about Twilight for almost a year and I haven't heard anything!)  And when those two split up, Robert was apparently quick to her aid, helping her feel better after the split.

"When Rob heard about Camilla's breakup, he called her immediately, and they made plans to see each other," a source said.  "They've been on the phone every night.  They sit and talk for hours on end, just making each other laugh. He also sends her sweet little text messages throughout the day.  Rob and Camilla have remained close for the past year while dealing with their own relationships.  Although they've both been involved with other people, they've always had a thing for each other."

"[Camilla] hasn't had much time to get upset about her relationship with Joe falling apart because she's been swept up by Rob," the source added.  "She says she feels so lucky to hear one of the sexiest guys in the world [say] how special she is."

Ahh, how gentleman-like of him.  Makes sense.  Only, well, I didn't expect this to be treated with such emphasis, but then again, it's Hollywood.  That, or it's another person linked to the poor guy: Emilie de Ravin, then... who else?  I've lost track.

Bah, the fans are angry, saying it's another lie to gain attention.  I shouldn't have written it down.

Bite three: Robert's close encounter with Kristen Stewart, part does-anybody-remember-how-many-parts-there-have-been?  See the photo up there?  That, apparently, is a photo of RPattz and KStew really, really, really close to each other during a Kings of Leon concert that the Eclipse cast decided to watch.  (That's similarly-beleaguered Kellan Lutz on top.  That's Bryce Dallas Howard on top, too.)

Now, they say, either the two are just whispering to each other, or, as some want us to think, they're smooching and, uhh, on the verge of making out.  Not really, but you get the idea.

But really now.  How can you tell that's Rob?  Oh, right, the arms.  But it's absolutely dark, and all my squinting hasn't done anything.  But the fans seem happy with this pair-up, never mind the previous denials.  And that's why it sucks being Robert Pattinson: nobody will believe what you say or do.  Or so it seems.

Then again, I'm not close to him, so what do I know?





- Henrik Batallones, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of Radar Online)