With the third episode of the season, True Blood continues to be the most disgusting show on TV with the help of a new beast that causes some major damage on Sookie's back.  There's also the return of Maryann's pig and a new and rather unexpected romance.  

Picking up where we left off, Bill glamors Jessica's family to make them forget all about the drama, allowing Bill, Sookie and Jessica to drive home.  Bill and Sookie get into the expected fight about what she was doing, and despite their claims that they don't want to be one of "those" couples, they totally are.  Sookie throws a hissy fit and chooses to walk home to Bon Temps, which is one of those idiotic horror movie decisions like investigating a noise or being the black guy.

Walking alone in the woods, Sookie hears some scary noises and pauses to look around.  She sees a giant shadowy creature with horns.  It's a new kind of monster, and if you've ever seen the movie Legend with Tom Cruise, it looks kind of like the Devil in that movie.  I included a picture of this below to help support my claim.

The monster chases her and uses its three claws to scratch into her back.  She screams and Bill comes running to save her.  He finds her, but she's paralyzed, and when he tries to heal her with his blood, she has a bad reaction to it.  She thinks she was attacked by some sort of half-bull/half-man.  There's a minotaur on the loose!

Bill takes her to Eric's for help from the world's creepiest doctor ever who is essentially that old lady from Poltergeist.  The doctor compares it to a Komodo dragon that paralyzes its victims and waits for them to slow down before devouring them.  Eric has no idea what a bull/man is, which is surprising since he's been around for 1,000 years.  Wow, he doesn't look a day over 568.

While Eric's minions go out to search for the bull/man, the doctor pours something seriously painful onto Sookie's giant claw wounds, causing her to scream out in pain.  Bill holds her down while the doctor digs into the open wounds and pulls out the poison monster claws.

The Stackhouses must share an emotional connection, because Jason is also screaming, but only because he's having a nightmare at Jesus Camp.  He wakes up only to find himself being spooned by Eddie, the vampire he and Amy killed last season.  It's a double nightmare, and Jason wakes up to pray to God for guidance.  The Lukenator tells him to shut up, and when Jason leans back to go to sleep, he bangs his noggin on the headboard.  I'm hopelessly loving how cartoonishly dumb the writers are making Jason this season.


(1)   (2)   (3)   NEXT>>



(Image courtesy of HBO)