'True Blood' Recap: A Viking, a Fawn and a Loofah
'True Blood' Recap: A Viking, a Fawn and a Loofah
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
This week's episode of True Blood is all about finding your other half.  Sam meets another shifter, Sookie continues to bother another telepath, Jason finally gets some loving this season, and there are plenty of new vampires around, including Eric's maker.

This last one is the best, because it gives us a chance to see Eric the Viking.  And oh yeah, Tara and the residents of Bon Temps do some stuff, but right now, the romantic pairings at Merlotte's are of very little value to the show.

True Blood is available on Amazon Prime.


Sookie tracks down Barry, but here telepath buddy is not eager to have his secret revealed.  He's quite scared of what would happen if the violent vamps of Dallas found him, so despite Sookie's  best efforts, he stays away.  The same can not be said for Hoyt and Jessica, who talk on the phone as he reads his comic book to her.  When did True Blood decide that Hoyt is a horny teenage boy?

Eric takes Bill and Sookie to see the vampires of Dallas, Isabel and Stan.  She's an uptight socialite and he's a cowboy.  Stan wants to start a war with the church, but Sookie has a better plan: she'll infiltrate the Fellowship of the Sun and read their minds to find Godric.  Gee, I wonder if the fact that her brother is there will cause any complications.

Bill is curious why Eric is so interested in Godric, which provides an awesome flashback to Viking times where Eric is a warrior.  If you thought metrosexual bleach-blonde Eric was hot, check out bad-ass Viking Eric.  He gets wounded in battle and, at night, a cute little tattooed boy kills all his men.  The young man says he's Death and offers Eric Life.  Godric is Eric's maker and, despite being the oldest known vampire around, Godric is just a little emo kid.

Bill and Sookie retire to the hotel for some late night action, where, sadly, Barry has "quit" his job.  And by "quit," I mean that's certainly not the end to his story.  While the hot sex is going on, a well dressed woman showing plenty of cleavage strolls down the hallway, hears Sookie, and vamps out.  That can't be good.

In Bon Temps, Sam and Daphne leave Tara's party for some forest fun, and she reveals herself to be a deer.  That's right, Daphne is a shifter.  Their romance is interrupted by Terry and Arlene, who've made sexy plans of their own.  The next day at Merlotte's, Lafayette finally returns to work, though he's still not his jovial old self.

Tara enjoys her post-coital time with Eggs, but quickly goes back to her suspicions when she learns Maryann wants to move in to Sookie's place.  That's a bit presumptuous, so Tara says no.  But that night, Maryann drives by Merlotte's, does her magic shake and, instead of getting everyone all hot and bothered in a sexy way, she gets them to turn on one another, so all the employees start yelling at one another, which makes Tara realize Maryann is the most dependable person in her life, so she agrees to let her, Karl and Eggs stay at Sookie's place.

I'm really hoping this goes somewhere fast, because it's starting to feel like every episode Tara takes one step forward and two steps back.  Also, the fact that less than half the episode takes place in Bon Temps could get a little distracting.

As the newest inductee into the Soldiers of the Sun, Jason is put through a grueling boot camp led by some guy who should've been played by R. Lee Ermey, but I guess they couldn't get him.  Also, it turns out the Lukenator is also a cadet, because Jason needs an equally dumb rival.

The day is rough, but Jason shines by helping the Lukeantor scale a fence.  That night, Reverend Newlin takes Jason down to the R&D lab.  At first I assumed this was a codename for his secret gay sex dungeon, but it's actual the arsenal full of weapons, from guns to flame throwers to silver throwing stars to a bazooka.

Jason needs to take a bath to calm his excited inner child who wants to blow stuff up.  Sarah walks in on him and locks the door behind her, offering to loofah his chest.  I imagine if Sookie were around, she'd hear Jason's thoughts singing "Sarah Newlin, you're the one.  You make bath time so much fun."  She thinks all his hard work deserves some reward, and by reward, she means an underwater hand job.

Finally, Jason gets some action.  By this time in the first season, I think we'd seen Jason have sex with 20 different women 36 times, but through five episodes of season 2, all we get is a single handy job?  Thank God Bill and Sookie are doing it like rabbits.



-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of HBO)

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