As the premiere date of True Blood
's sixth season draws closer, you may find yourself wondering what the heck else could happen to these characters? It's getting to a 24
-esk realm, where you think, seriously, how many bad days can Jack Bauer have? So just to catch you up on all the ridiculousness that has transpired during the first five wonderful seasons, we're recapping the astounding journeys taken by nine main characters in a series called True Blood
: Beginnings. We've already done Alcide Herveaux
and Jessica Hamby
. Next up is Lafayette Reynolds.
Lafayette's story started out pretty slowly in season 1. He was Tara's cousin and a cook at Merlotte's, and he spent his days working on the construction crew with Jason. He was also a drug dealer and a prostitute, and that's basically all we got from him. It wasn't until Jesus came along that things got really interesting. Let's take a look back.
Drug Dealing Looker, Hooker, Cookerand Friend to Sooker
We knew about his relationship with Tara, the fact that he worked at Merlotte's and on the road crew, but that was about it until Jason had his little impotence problem after Maudette Pickins got killed. He went to Lafayette to buy some Viagra, but that wasn't in big L's medicine cabinet. But no worries, he had something better. Not only would V give Jason an erection, it would also provide the best sex he or his partner ever had. But since Jason can't afford to pay for it, he strips down to his skivvies and dons a Nancy Reagan mask, dancing for Lafayette and a video camera. It marks a classy start to Jason's story, as well.
After Jason basically ODs and can't get rid of his boner, he goes back to Lafayette, who chastises him for taking more than a drop or two and tosses him out of Merlotte's. A pissed-off Tara (who is still in love with Jason at the time) tells him to apologize, but he instead convinces Jason to give V another shot, essentially aiding in getting him hooked on it.
He is the recipient of some anti-gay hatred at Merlotte's when some rednecks ask him if the burger he just made has AIDS, so he mashes the food up in their faces and kicks them out, as well.
At Gran's funeral, he and Tara take a furious Sookie upstairs to try and calm her down, but Jason storms in and slaps her, blaming her for Gran's death. Jason tries to buy more V, but Lafayette refuses and kicks him out of wherever (cause that's apparently what Lafayette specialized in at this point) for being an irresponsible addict. So Jason and Amy follow him to the home of gay vampire Eddie/Milton from Office Space, who gives Lafayette V in exchange for sexual favors. After Lafayette leaves, Jason and Amy kidnap Eddie.
Lafayette breaks up a fight between Jason and Rene on the chain gang, confronts Jason at Arlene and Rene's engagement party, commends his politician lover on his "courageous" anti-vampire and anti-gay stances, consoles Sookie after she kills Rene, takes out the trash at Merlotte's, gets rushed by something, jumps up a dumpster and screams "Oh my God!" See you next season!
A Kidnapping and Return to Dealing
We were supposed to think that Lafayette was the murdered body found in the car at the end of season 1 (on account of the painted toenails), but it's totally okay, because instead he just got kidnapped by Eric and locked up in the basement of Fantasia for being a known seller of V. After co-captive Royce Williams tries to escape and gets killed, spraying Lafayette with blood in the process, he wisely decides to stay put for the time being.
Eventually, though, he makes a run for it and gets shot. He begs to be turned into a vampire, but all the feeding in the world apparently doesn't turn him. After Sookie uses Bill's blood to heal at the bar, she finds Lafayette being held there and arranges for his release in return for her help finding Godric. He hightails it outta there without bother to heal, so Eric pays him a visit and gives him blood in effort to keep him alive and keep track on him. Pam later pays him a visit and demands he resume selling V.
What Kind of Eggs Do You Like?
Lafayette gets his job back at Merlotte's even though he has horrible PTSD about being locked up. After Maryann gets Eggs and Tara to beat the crap out of each other, an irate Lafayette confronts Eggs about the bruises, and they duke it out like 40s-style boxing. He enlists Tara's mom Lettie Mae to help break Maryann's spell, but instead another fight breaks out. Despite Tara and Eggs having blacked-out eyes, Lafayette beats a tranced-out, ripped up Eggs (yeah right) to the ground, kicks him repeatedly, grabs Tara and bounces.
Even though Bill and Sookie eventually break the black-eyed spell, Tara insists on going back for Eggs and convinces Lettie Mae that God wants her to go. So mom holds Sook and Lafayette at gunpoint while Tara makes her getaway.
With everyone in town under Maryann's spell, Lafayette distracts Terry and Arlene with drugs so Sookie can get to Tara and Eggs. He then runs into Maryann and Karl, who is accidentally shot and killed, while Lafayette also falls under the spell of the black eyes. He catches Sookie and delivers her to Maryann, who is killed by Sam and Bill, returning the townsfolk to normal. Oh, and Jason shoots Eggs in the face.
Lafayette keeps trying to console Tara over Eggs' death, taking her to Sookie and then to her mother before interrupting her suicide attempt. While rushing to the hospital, a despondent Tara claims she's fine (and has thrown up all the pills), so Lafayette takes her to a mental institution to see Ruby Jean Reynolds, his mother. The nurse aiding Ruby is Jesus, who she believes is the actual Jesus. Ruby also believes her son is dead because he is gay, but he keeps coming back to life. Lafayette tells Tara that Ruby has been there for six months, and he brought her to show that "there is darkness in the family" and that they need to work together to rise above it.
Eric pays his top V salesman a visit and gives him a Ferrari, but Lafayette tells him he wants out of the game. But he still has to unload the current stock, until he gets jumped by hillbillies who want to steal his wheels. Eric rescues him and forces the rednecks to buy V instead, but then Pam calls and says the Magister has arrived and is asking about the sale of vampire blood. So Eric blames it on Bill.
Jesus stops by Merlotte's and waits nine hours for his first date with Lafayette. They play pool, flirt, make out and are about to seal the deal when the hillbillies show up again and trash the Ferrari. Jesus finds out it's over V and peaces out, as he wants nothing to do with a dealer.
Ruby wanders off from the institution after a new nurse leaves her alone and goes to Lafayette's with a knife, saying she won't go back to the hospital because she's not crazy. Jesus talks her off the ledge and into just watching TV, and then he and Lafayette have another steamy makeout session.
Sam beats Calvin within an inch of his life at Merlotte's, and Lafayette and Jesus rush him to the hospital. But when time is short, Lafayette gives him V instead, and he is instantly healed. This intrigues Jesus, who decides he wants to try vampire blood with a reluctant Lafayette. They connect on a spiritual level, seeing visions of Jesus' healer grandmother and voodoo grandfather, as well as Lafayette's conjurer ancestor.
Jesus' grandfather emits a primal howl that pulls them both from their trip, and Jesus immediately wants to go back so he and "see his people." When Lafayette is again reluctant, Jesus' head turns into a demon face that lunges at him. He kicks Jesus out before all the figurines on his wall start talking to him.
The visions continue, including a bloody-handed Sam and a Rene-infused Arlene, so he calls Jesus to ask what the balls is going on. He believes Lafayette has unlocked some kind of power, as he can see things that people want to hide. It's the magic Jesus was taught while growing up, cause you know, he's all Sabrina-ike. He's a gay male nurse-witch. It's a whole new category at the singles bar.
What's So Important that You Can't Join the Religious Cult with Me?
Now things really start to happen. Time for rapid-fire mode! Jesus introduces Lafayette to Marnie Stonebook, head of a witch coven, and convinces him to join after a bird is resurrected. Lafayette doesn't have to worry about dark magic, because he has so much light in his heart. He convinces Tara to join them at the Wiccan gathering, where Marnie declares they are going to resurrect a person. Lafayette asks where the coven is going get a dead body, Eric shows up and then sh*t gets crrraaaaazy.
Eric attacks Marnie, the group (minus Lafayette, who is too afraid) starts an incantation, Tara tries to stake Eric, Eric grabs her, Lafayette joins the circle, a possessed floating Marnie starts chanting in Latin, Eric drops Tara, looks scared and runs from the building. Marnie awakens having no recollection of any of it. Whew!
Lafayette tries to convince everyone that they need to make amends with Eric, who knows no mercy, but they instead decide they need to fight back to preserve their freedom of religion.
Spring Break South of the Border
Lafayette goes to Fangtasia, where he is attacked by Pam. Jesus and Tara arrive just in time to stop her from killing him, and she gives them 24 hours to make things right. Their mission is to fix Eric, who has lost his memory and is suddenly a bit of a puss, being cared for by Sookie. After watching Marnie channel an ancient witch burned by vampires at the stake and casting a rotting spell on Pam, Lafayette and Jesus pack up for a trip to Mexico to see Jesus' endearing brujo abuelo Don Bartolo, who forced him to kill his pet goat and lick the blood off the knife when he was a child.
They are greeted by a beautiful young pregnant woman when they arrive, as well as the grisled old brujo, who says he has been expecting them. He makes a poisonous rattlesnake bite Jesus, forcing Lafayette to channel Tio Luca to save him. This proves that Lafayette is a medium who "has the magic." Like Orlando, but with talent.
Mavis: We Try Harder
Back at Merlotte's, Lafayette sees a strange black woman in his kitchen. She is surprised he can see her, but she focuses her attention on
Terry Rene and Arlene's son Mikey. Lafayette yells at her, and she disappears ... for now. He later sees her sing to the baby in his playpen and dreams about her, and his newfound powers allow him to see her past. She was having sex with a white married man who got her pregnant. He took the baby and killed it because he feared that its mixed race would reveal the affair.
Mavis possesses Lafayette's body and goes to Andy's house, where she steals his gun. Then she goes to Arlene's, taking Mikey and the creepy doll that has been randomly showing up places.
Then it's off to a drunk Hoyt's house, which is where Mavis used to live. She turns up the TV and stomps on the floor just for fun. Jesus shows up, talks to Mavis and convinces her that she hijacked his boyfriend's medium body. She grows distraught, while Jason and Jesus dig for the bones of her son. Once they find them, Mavis/Lafayette hold the skeletal remains. Jesus grips her shoulders and casts an exorcism spell. Mavis leaves Lafayette's body in a shimmer of bright, golden light. She thanks him for reuniting her with her son, sings to her baby and her spirit moves on.
A Very Special Martonia Holiday
The focus is now on rescuing Tara from the Moon Goddess Emporium, where she remains trapped with Antonia/Marnie and the Wiccans. Lafayette arrives with Jason, Sookie and Lafayette, who manages to communicate with Antonia and cross the magical force field by turning into the demon head again. While he works on the Marnie/Antonia symbiosis, Tara and Holly break the protection spell and rush outside. Right when they reach the group, Marnie makes them all teleport back inside, reinstating the force field and leaving Jason alone just as Eric, Pam, Bill and Jessica arrive to blow the place to hell.
When things get crazy inside the emporium, medium Lafayette is the only one who sees Antonia try to leave Marnie's body, only to be sucked back in by a binding spell. All along, we thought Antonia was the bad one, but it turns out Marnie is just stone cold crazy. And it's only about to get worse for our guy. Lafayette and Jesus use Casey's corpse after she was killed by Marnie to try and separate the spirits, speeding things up after a spell is cast to pull the vampires standing outside into the force field. Jason signals Sookie, who breaks the spell and is cast into a ring of fire by Marnie. Lafayette tells Jesus to hurry the F up, and he manifests the demon head to complete the task just in time. Bill kills Marnie, Eric glamours people and Jesus and Lafayette head home to bed.
All seems fine in the world, until Marnie's spirit possesses Lafayette, stabs Jesus in the hand with a fork, ties him to a chair, threatens to kill Lafayette unless Jesus turns into the demon head, jabs him in the chest with a knife and licks off the blood, killing him while transferring his power. She then heads to Bill's house, where she chains Bill and Eric in silver, ties them to a post above a pile of wood and sets them on fire.
Sookie uses her powers to push Lafayette into a circle of salt that Holly had made, and Lafayette gets demon face. Holly, Sookie and Tara being chanting a spell that creates a barrier around the circle, and spirits from the nearby graveyard, including Antonia and Gram, appear in front of them. Antonia blows out the fire like a candle and Gran pulls Marnie out of Lafayette's body. Antonia then convinces Marnie to forget her rage and just come to the afterlife already.
Jesus appears to Lafayette and tells him he's fine with what happened. Lafayette asks how he's meant to live with what he did, and Jesus replies, "Just keep breathing."
Lafayette, resting after a long stretch of days at Sookie's, wakes up to the sound of a gunshot blast in the kitchen. He rushes downstairs and finds Debbie murdered and cousin Tara shot in the head. Pam shows up looking for Eric, and Lafayette demands she turn Tara into a vampire to save her from death. She agrees, in return for Sookie's help repairing her relationship with her maker (Eric was pissed because she fired a rocket into the force field and could've injured or killed Sookie), so she gives Tara her blood, bites her and is buried next to her.
Lafayette helps clean up Debbie's body, then returns home to find Jesus' body gone. He tries to use his medium powers to call out to Jesus, but he is unsuccessful. While taking a bath, he eyes a pink razor.
After Alcide arrives to warn Sookie about Russell Edgington, Lafayette emerges from the bathroom with a newly shaved head and tells the werewolf to leave because they are done with the supernatural kind (even though they both have powers). They greet the newly-turned and now crazy Tara after she emerges from the grave and bites Sookie, and they try to reason with her as she trashes Sookie's house, because that thing has been a mess for five seasons and they finally cleaned up all the blood.
As daylight approaches, Lafayette cuts his arm to entice Tara, and Sookie nails her with some silver chains as they drag her to the basement. In the cubby, Lafayette tells Tara they made a mistake, and he's about to stake her when Sookie overhears his thoughts, stops him and convinces him that Tara deserves a chance because she is still new. But that's not cool, because Tara HATES vampires, especially after what Franklin did to her.
When night falls, Tara busts out of the house. Lafayette looks everywhere he can think of, but to no avail. They eventually find her in the walk-in freezer at Merlotte's, where Sam put her after feeding her endless bottles of Tru Blood. They both work that day to make sure no one else finds her, but Lafayette is more paranoid about getting caught over Debbie's death.
Once Tara wakes up, he tries to give her more Tru Blood. But instead, she throws him through the freezer door, revealing to Alcide that she is a vampire and forcing Sookie to come clean about killing Debbie. Arlene shames Lafayette for allowing Tara to become a vampire, so he pours a bottle of bleach into an order of gumbo. Then he sees his demon face in the mirror and quickly dumps out the pan.
He confronts Sookie in the parking lot, furious she spilled the beans about Debbie's murder. He tells her that of course she will survive, but she always leaves a trail of bodies behind her as a result. He then calls her the angel of death, leaving her crying, before speaking in tongues, going all demon head and levitating and cursing her car.
He later finds her wrecked vehicle, which she narrowly escaped from, and calls her to see if she's okay. But she's drunk, so he says he's coming over. Instead, she tells him to have her car towed. He tries to confess, but she hangs up. He returns home, sees his demon head in the mirror, curses it, lights candles, prays to God, says he is tired of all the supernatural happening around him and watches as his prayer statues begin teasing him. He destroys them and asserts he is a good man, then drops to his knees and calls out to Jesus (not sure if this is Jesus or HEY-zues because they both look the same on paper, but I'll assume the former), asking for a sign because he needs help.
He wakes up on his couch, confronted by Jesus' severed head trying to tell him something, but he can't because his mouth is sewn shut. It's all pretty gross. Meanwhile, Ruby also has a vision of Jesus' head, only she's not terrified at all. She understands that Jesus is telling her about Lafayette's demon, promises to act as an interpreter and summons Lafayette. She tells him that in order to save Jesus, he must go back to Mexico, tossing in a few loving anti-gay epithets along the way.
So Lafayette flies to Jesus' family home, where he finds Jesus' severed head displayed on a chair. Brujo grandpappy Don Bartolo holds Lafayette at gunpoint, ties him to a chair and sews his mouth shut in a surprisingly gruesome scene for a show that has had at least three still-beating hearts ripped from chests.
Just before Bartolo can strike Lafayette down, young pregnant Maria jumps up from behind and stabs him to death. She cuts free Lafayette, who pulls the stitches from his lips. On his way home in Jesus' car, he uses some V to heal himself, then sees Jesus sitting next to him in the passenger seat. They hold hands.
You'd Think That'd Be All, But...
Lafayette arrives home, thinking only about a bath and a blunt. Instead, he finds Arlene and Holly waiting, wanting help with Terry's smoke-monster Ifrit curse. He says he'll do it for $300, and initially just goes through the motions until the Iraqi woman Terry killed actually shows up. He tells the Terry and Patrick that she is still furious and won't stop until one of them is dead.
Then, for no real reason, he agrees to help Sookie find out why the mysterious vampire Warlow is after her. He hear several voices talking at once, and he chastises them before hearing a message from Gram. She says that Sookie is "sleeping on top of it," and they find a box of mementos under the bed.
Finally, at Merlotte's, Lafayette and Sam get the drop on a couple of thugs who were armed with guns and wooden bullets. Then they watch in shock and awe as Holly midwifes the birth of Andy and fairy Maurella's four baby girls.
What's Next for Lafayette?
It's hard to predict anything for Lafayette when he really has very few ties left. Surely the connection with Jesus will continue, as will the appearance of the demon head and his contentious relationship with cousin Tara. But storylines involving Lafayette are wide open. He could be a medium to channel spirits, or he could try and settle in to a normal sort of life (ha!).
The one thing that's for certain is that NONE of these characters can ever hope to have any semblance of a normal life. That's why everything that's already happened is so nuts. I mean, we still have six more characters to go, and I can't think of anything else that could happen to THIS guy.
What do you think is in store for Lafayette in season 6? Do you have any hopes for him?
For More True Blood Beginnings:
True Blood season 6 premieres June 16 at 9m on HBO.
(Images courtesy of HBO)