Maryann continues to turn Tara against her friends, primarily by rolling the fattest blunt of all-time. One big joint turns into a full-blown party where nearly the whole town of Bon Temps gathers at Maryann's house to drink, dance and have a huge orgy. Andy Bellefleur shows up to investigate, and he's temporarily suspicious when he sees Maryann's creepy pig in a dollhouse. However, the pig disappears and Maryann uses her witchy ways to trick him into staying and partying.
Tara is high as a kite and lounging with Eggs in the hot tub, but then she has a moment of clarity and takes Sam's advice to look around and see what's really happening. She sees her townsfolk having sex and running around naked, drunk off their asses, and she finally realizes that something is very, very wrong with this picture. She storms off and decides to pack up and leave Maryann's place.
At a Jesus Camp Sharing Circle, Jason finally has a moment of clarity of his own when he reveals the truth about his relationship with vampires. His sister is dating one and she really likes him, his girlfriend killed Eddie, who was a nice gay vampire, and his grandma was killed not by a vampire, but by a human who hated vampires. Hallelujah, Jason finally grew a brain!
Or not. He tries to leave but gets stopped by Sarah Newlin who uses her feminine wiles to confuse him. She tells a sad story about how her sister got hooked on V and was allegedly killed by vampires, and tries to say that the vampires took her sister the same way they took Jason's grandma. That could be the dumbest thing ever said, but because it was said with conviction, Jason believes it as true. He flip-flops and suddenly realizes that vampires are evil and they're to blame for his grandma's death, even though they totally aren't at all. Once again, Jason is steered wrong by a woman. He's going to need to grow a really big brain if he wants it to overpower the eggplant-sized one in his penis.
That night Jason is invited to dinner with the Newlins where the reverend tells him that hating evil vampires is the same as loving God, which is sort of like saying murdering a cat is the same thing as adopting a dog. He also tells Jason there's a war going on outside, and Jason looks out the window, probably expecting to see soldiers storming the beaches at Normandy. Sarah brings out her delicious banana pudding, which is definitely a metaphor for her naughty places. I'm guessing that she's just the honey trap to sucker sweet hot Jason in so that her husband can have sex with him.
On the next
True Blood: The show is off next week due to the fourth of July weekend, but in two weeks, it's Tara's birthday party, which means another Maryann orgy, while Sookie, Bill and Jessica head to Dallas.
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-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer