Two episodes, four hours of auditions and an unknown number of terrible singers later, The X Factor USA
premiere week has come to an end, but the show is just getting started. Here are all the fascinating X Factor
-y bits you should read, know, listen to, watch and forward to your mom over the weekend:Stacy Francis,
the single mom who brought the house down with "Natural Woman" on Wednesday's premiere used to be in a band called Ex-Girlfriend,
and their first record was "X Marks the Spot." Coincidence or good omen?
Did you catch amazing auditioner Melanie Amaro
in last night's episode? Didn't you just love how sweet and humble she is? You can watch her kill Beyonce's "Listen" again here
And on the flip side of "amazing" and "humble": the PTC has filed a complaint against The X Factor
for Geo Godley
's ungodly and indecent exposure stunt during his song "Mr. Stud." They must think he was actually naked under that giant X. Oh PTC, you're so naive. HE WAS IN A LEOPARD PRINT THONG! Witnesses testified
about it. Doesn't that make you feel better? No? Yeah, me neither.
Related: Geo Godley is on Twitter
if you'd like to give him more unearned attention and read his opinions about what is and isn't legal."X Factor producers and judges should hang their heads in shame. They are exploiting a frail and vulnerable lady." If The X Factor USA is successful, here's the kind of news
we can look forward to in a couple of years.
How pretty was Caitlin Koch
, the rugby coach? And how pretty was her rendition of "Stop (In the Name of Love")? The answer to both, revealed!
Wondering what Nicole Scherzinger did to earn her spot at the X Factor's judging table? The Daily Beast sort of answers that question,
although the best part of the piece is a quote by Ken Tucker of EW
: "The immortal description of Clive James regarding Liza Minnelli holds true of Scherzinger: "She can't even descend a staircase with sincerity."" Just like how she can't even step foot in Texas without saying "y'all" 3,000 times.
STILL wondering what the difference is between The X Factor and American Idol?
Conan is here to tell you, but I'll tell you my own secret: He's only half
Conan left out how the host of the X Factor
, Steve Jones, is tall, hot, British and has the power of invisibility! Take THAT, Ryan Seacrest!Lastly, let's end with a quote from rejected auditioner but world-class super bitch Xander Alexander: "I want to be the next Donald Trump meets Martha Stewart, without the
jail time, meets Britney Spears meets Beyonce, without the ugly husband."
And I want to be the next Oprah without the John Travolta fixation meets Sylvia Plath without the sticking her head in the oven meets a puppy in a bowtie. What are YOUR terrible, rude, deluded dreams?Check out our recaps of The X Factor Auditions Nights One and Two.
(Image courtesy of FOX)