Dear Vampire Diary,
The second episode of The Vampire Diaries
means twice the angst,
twice the sexiness and because both Stefan and Elena get to narrate,
twice as many pretentious voiceovers as Grey's Anatomy
. It's kind of like if Meredith Grey were in love with a boy version of herself.
However, all their staring and brooding and allegedly "epic" romance is
dull, even when they share their diary entries before having a
passionate kiss. In the words of Meredith Grey, "Seriously?"
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Luckily spiced up thanks to the amazingness that is Damon. Here's all you really need to know: Damon is 100 times more kick-ass than anyone else on this show.
Damon toys with Stelena, putting doubt in both their minds about their relationship while cracking jokes and wearing a devilish grin. But he steps that up even more when he abducts Vicki and drags her up the roof where he threatens to expose Stefan's vampiric secret unless he feeds. It's a delightfully evil move, and while he goes back on it, he succeeds in proving he's unpredictable.
But the truly brilliant Damon move came when he finally decided to give Caroline what she wanted: some hot and sexy bedroom action. Only halfway through he decides to vamp out and bite her. If that's the price for sexing up Damon, it's so worth it.
But Damon isn't the only fun supporting character. Psychic Bonnie is always talking about her crazy drunk Gran, making her Jen from Dawson's Creek
. And wacky fun Aunt Jenna tries to be a parent by punishing Jeremy, but all it really accomplishes is making us all realize that she would be a lot cooler if she still smoked pot.
There's also this absurd storyline where Jeremy the burn-out goth kid and Tyler, the jock, compete for Vicki's heart. The problem is that the goth kid Jeremy, played by Steven R. McQueen, is taller, cuter and, all around, hotter than Michael Trevino. There is no debate, Jeremy wins every time, but I guess Vicki lost so much blood after the Spooky Fog Machine bit her that she can't be expected to make reasonable choices.
Speaking of him, according to the Vampire Diaries personality quiz
, I'm Jeremy. So I guess I'm a druggie goth kid who, in reality, is a hot stud. Yeah, that sounds about right.Sin-cerely,
John Kubicek, BuddyTV Vampire Writer
(Image courtesy of the CW)