The search for crystals is on and the other Blackwell child is revealed.
Oh gosh, a diary! I think the author of The Secret Circle
and The Vampire Diaries
assumes all 16-year-old girls keep diaries. And broody moody guilt-trippers like Stefan and Adam. Apparently, Dawn has one too, one that Faye and Melissa find because grown women keep their teenaged diaries.
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Faye reads the dirty diary (which is almost the equivalent to watching your parents have sex) and assumes she is the Blackwell child. Not a bad assumption, especially since Dawn would probably be really into someone else's boyfriend.
Crystals Are Dangerous
We have the Circle circling around for crystals. Specifically, we are introduced into more of Jake's family, his crazy grandfather at a cabin the woods.
On the walls is evidence of such crazy. Good job art department! The creepiest part comes from a list of names with birth days. It is like LOST
without the number association. Also, I find it very difficult to believe that these kids were born in 1995 when most of the actors were born in the 80s! Maybe it's because of my age and I just felt so old right there (when I'm not! 90s pride!).
Whatever. Luckily, Grandpa Cray Pants recognizes Jake and the others for witches. This is possibly one of the most unintentionally funny moments of this show because of how Grandpa is out of the loop and the actor's delivery. Finally, they acknowledge Nick again. (I want him to come back for the season finale to scare Jake. Sorry, that was random.) But when you think of all the crazy stuff listed on this show, it really does sound ridiculous. The Circle will be the death of them, as it will be the death of me.
This show has an annoying ability to give a bunch of theories from characters and then other characters either agree or disagree. It's exposition based than action based; essentially, it is a bunch of conspiracy theories.
Blackwell's original master plan, according to GCP, was to corrupt the circle in Chance Harbor in as many lasting ways as possible. But what this guy really wanted was children. The more tainted Balcoin blood in the Circle, the more it would put nature out of whack. This conspiracy theory is just the weirdest thing but it puts light on the weird pregnancy pact. Ugh.
Anyway, six crystals form a crystal skull--the most powerful thing ever and the destruction of humans? Yeah, let's go with humans. The elders have many and they seem out of the loop still. Because here is a flaw with the Elders: why wouldn't the Elders strip the kids' powers at birth? Why didn't they have a BACKUP PLAN? The Elders are dumb for not keeping up with this stuff.
Oh, but I forgot the best part about this elder. Grandpa has a map about where he keeps his crystal. And it gets stolen by Melissa's creepy drug dealer Callum! Randomness, but EPIC randomness!
Action Adventure Time
Alright, so even though the map was stolen, Cassie conveniently took a photo of it. So now they can use their phones. Adam and Melissa use the photo map. This is a dangerous place to be normal, remarks Adam. Cause it's dark? Melissa finds a light switch, all is well! So the two snoop along until they must cross a giant hole; I swear I ain't making this up. Adam makes like Tarzan, finds the crystal. And Callum appears. Like I didn't know this would happen; these cliffhangers are as lame as Callum.
Callum's reason for villainery? It isn't about the power, it's the money; to emphasize how silly he is, he brings a gun to a magic fight. Granted, he is up against Adam and Melissa so no worries for him. A gunshot goes off, everybody is scared except Callum because he has a gun.
Faye and Diana walk out, attempting to stop. But Faye fails (which makes sense--she's always wanted power but never had any). A coolio moment goes to Jake because he 'marks' Callum--aka cuts his hand and says a magic spell.
Charles vs. Blackwell
Why would Blackwell only want to do right by one daughter? It screams suspicion about that conspiracy theory that he doesn't talk to Faye. But then this little tidbit is mentioned: Blackwell killed Elizabeth, Diana's mother. It is among the reasons Charles hates him. Strangely, this is a character I'd be interested in meeting since I love Diana.
Since Charles hates Blackwell so much, he teams up with Jane, hellbent on killing Blackwell. She is suspicious he killed Amelia, to which I scream 'IRONY' and live a happy life. Using a crystal, Charles subdues Blackwell while Jane does all the work. Charles really is a lackey to powerful women.
The trio chats for a while, about the weather and death and magic and stuff. Jane believes Blackwell about Amelia's death, can't send him to hell. Charles is more than willing, but it backfires because Blackwell is not a dumb man. In fact, Blackwell is always good at fooling people about his imminent demise. Blackwell turned the tables on this by rigging it so Jane would die. Better yet, he threatened Charles. Like woah.
Blackwell is becoming awesome.
Diana Is the Only Charmed One
Diana and her boy Grant are attempting to bond, have a perfect date, and then one day spawn genetically beautiful children. At least, Diana expects this given how serious she is to stay out of the circle. Melissa is helpful to oblige because she is the only who might care about everyone let alone anyone.
Circle crises make it impossible for these two to spend any time together, forcing Diana to want normal. She hates lying to Grant (who... must be evil, amirite?) and having a secret identity. Diana is the only witch on this show that makes me miss Charmed.
Diana needs to take a break from the circle for a little while. Diana wants out. She couldn't even help Adam and Melissa because she couldn't go into the mines. Which means ... Diana is the other Blackwell child. Diana and Cassie are sisters. WOAH THERE SHOW. Way to become awesome!
Emily E. Steck
(Image courtesy of The CW)