On this episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County
, Vicki, Tamra and Lydia's actions have consequences. Vicki and Gretchen compete for Tamra's attention. Gretchen tells Heather about Vicki's shady past. Tamra tells Gretchen about her melodramatic past. And there are tons of penises.
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Spilling the Beans
When we last saw the ladies, Vicki had absconded with Lydia and bride-to-be Tamra, ditching Gretchen and Heather. This is just the excuse Gretchen was looking for to not only assassinate Vicki's character but to obliterate it. So while Vicki and the other ladies are whooping it up, Gretchen tells Heather how Vicki cheated on her husband.
Heather thinks Gretchen is telling her simply because she's mad and wants to punish Vicki. Heather has no interest in this salacious gossip. She feels it is none of her business. Heather also feels it's a moot point since Vicki and Don are divorced. Gretchen points out that it might not matter to Heather, but Gretchen had to deal with accusations of cheating on her dying boyfriend while Vicki was allegedly "selling a lot of insurance," if you know what I mean.Hard Feelings
Heather and Gretchen decide to hail a cab, leaving the car for the other woman. Heather points out that even though she's been ditched, she's still concerned for the other women's safety. She wants to make sure they get back to the hotel safely. The Jewish Mary Poppins strikes again. Heather's instincts are the right ones because even sweet, holier-than-thou Lydia is re-enacting scenes from Coyote Ugly
. Gretchen isn't surprised by Vicki's behavior but is "devastated" that Tamra and Lydia would treat her this way. Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word
On their way back to the hotel, Lydia, Tamra and Vicki start to realize the implications of their actions. Lydia states that Gretchen and Heather are going to be upset, but all they can do is apologize. Who knew Lydia had the capacity to act so self-indulgently and be so laissez-faire about it afterwards? Tamra points out that they didn't want to go out anyway. So all three decide that everybody was happy doing what they wanted to be doing. Tamra admits it wasn't her intention to ditch her other friends but that she's so drunk, she just doesn't care.
Instead of waiting until the morning when sober and more cooler heads might prevail, Vicki, Tamra and Lydia decide to confront the issue as soon as they get back to the hotel. Drunk and giggling, their attempts at an apology triggers Gretchen's temper. She accuses Tamra of not giving a crap about her. Gretchen tells Tamra how much she hurt her feelings, especially given all the time, thought and money Gretchen put into this getaway. When she asks why they would run off, Tamra points at Vicki who just thinks the whole thing is hysterical. Gretchen exits the room with a "F*** you guys."Onward and Upward
The following morning, Gretchen tries to put on a happy face. She's planned a day of exploring Puerto Vallarta with the ladies. Tamra, in an effort to make up for her previous night's behavior, decides to acquiesce to any and all of Gretchen's requests. During their tour, Lydia basically asks Gretchen and Heather if they are okay or still upset. Heather says that she was embarrassed and sad that they left her and Gretchen, but in the spirit of having a fun weekend, she's trying to move on. Gretchen says that she concurs. Lydia thinks that if Gretchen and Heather have an issue, they should talk about it and move on and not keep the whole group in "purgatory."Salt in the Wound
As part of their tour, the ladies get to watch a bullfighter practice. Lydia thinks this is an odd activity to engage in on a bachelorette weekend. Back in the car, Tamra, Vicki and Lydia start to reminisce about the previous night, and Lydia says it made her trip. Heather and Gretchen overhear and get understandably offended. Vicki points out they have one more night, while Lydia says she can keep apologizing but she can't change what happened. Tamra tries to diffuse the situation before it gets out of hand, but it's too late. Gretchen and Lydia go at it the worst. Lydia says she is so taken aback by Gretchen's attitude that "she's done." Whether she means for the remainder of the trip or for good is unclear. Gretchen calls out Vicki for being a hypocrite, and Vicki gets incredibly defensive. She tells Gretchen to get over it.Round 3
What is supposed to be some down time by the pool turns into another argument. Vicki expresses jealousy over Tamra and Gretchen's friendship. Vicki tells Gretchen that when everything started going wrong in her friendship with Tamra, Gretchen became the "saving grace." Gretchen asks Vicki why she always talks down to her. Vicki volleys the same question back, of course. Gretchen says she's genuinely trying to have a real conversation about their issues. Gretchen accuses Vicki of being insecure, which Vicki denies. Gretchen finally gets up and leaves. Tamra says this is not the bachelorette party she was hoping for. Tamra follows Gretchen and tries to calm her down but is then stupid enough to admit that the previous night, Vicki had said her plan worked. Why on earth if you are trying to broker peace would you tell someone that? Party Girls
It's penis-palooza at Tamra's bachelorette party. Even prissy Heather gets into the spirit of things by giving Tamra a whip. Lydia excuses herself after dinner to avoid the strippers. I have to admit, she lasted longer and partied harder than I thought she would. And as if all the penis decorations and disturbingly enormous sex toys aren't tacky enough, Gretchen manages to hire the most vile and raunchy strippers ever. It's a good thing Lydia leaves because I don't think her eyes could get much bigger without popping out of her head.
The Mexican vacay ended on a much higher note than how it started. But the saying "Two's company, three's a crowd" definitely still applies to Gretchen, Tamra and Vicki.The Real Housewives of Orange County
airs Mondays at 9pm on Bravo. Want to add The Real Housewives of Orange County to your very own watch-list? Download BuddyTV Guide for free for your phone.(Image courtesy of Bravo)