'The Real Housewives of Orange County' Reunion Part 1
'The Real Housewives of Orange County' Reunion Part 1
The sunset is fake, and the hair is teased, it must be the Real Housewives of Orange County season 7 reunion! Everyone is playing nice for the first couple minutes, but only because Andy Cohen hasn't played any clips yet. Gretchen and Tamra are friends, switching hair-dos and dressed the same. Things are amiss!

The first focus is on Alexis, who is dumb, submissive, and trying out a few new careers. People talk about how dominant and overpowering Jim is, and Heather comes out guns blazing. Alexis came to the party cool, calm, and collected, though. "We're still married," she says pointedly at Tamra.

Heather and Alexis went to battle for round 1, and I'll give this one to Heather. I'll always give it to Heather, especially when she's going against Alexis. Tamra was loving it.

Next, Tamra is in the spotlight. She went through a divorce and came out the other side engaged to Eddie. The fitness studio is happening, Eddie is moving in, Simon didn't like that Tamra got engaged. Vicki is upset that they're apart as friends, she misses Tamra. Tamra is sad about the state of her friendship with Vicki.

But the friendship Andy wants to talk about next is the one between Gretchen and Tamra. No one can believe they are friends! I like when they're friends, it's more fun. Vicki and Alexis sneer with skepticism. Vicki claims she wanted them to be friends but not if it meant alienation. It's clear that Tamra and Vicki are at odds now, as they argue and Vicki is too defensive to listen.

The focus shifts to Vicki, who went through a divorce with Donn, then became obsessed with the still offputting Brooks. Brooks had a hilarious string of affirmations for Vicki, that were almost insane-sounding when placed in succession. Vicki was labeled a hypocrite, which she would not hear. SHE'S HAPPY, EVERYONE GET OVER IT. She's being so awful.

Vicki and Gretchen went toe to toe about who is paying child support and whether or not they're condoning it, and I'd give that round to Gretchen. I'm Team Left Couch.

Oh, then a bird flew through and touched Andy's head! That was a fun time.

So, who's fake? Is it Alexis? Let's talk about that word, "phony." She is. They talked about the intervention that happened by accident. Heather doesn't like Alexis, and neither does Tamra. Alexis just wants to be around happy people, not bitter old mean people! Why can't everyone just be happy all the time?

Then Alexis yelled at Gretchen about lying to everyone all the time, and especially to Andy about wearing extensions. Sheesh. They keep yelling, and Heather comes out with the gem, "If everyone says you're dead, it's time to lie down."

Apparently everyone on Facebook is rallying behind this Nordstroms thing! 1 million Nordstrom employees against Alexis Bellino.

Next week, the heat is off Alexis, but will continue to bring Vicki to a boil.

(images courtesy of Bravo)