As Gretchen sleeps peacefully in her bed, Slade takes a shower and tries to remember which Housewife's home he's in. Just kidding, they've been dating for a year and they LOVE EACH OTHER. Gross. Slade is gross. Also, it's part of Shawna's job as a friend and Gretchen's employee to keep people from calling her a princess. Is that so much to ask?!
Fernanda visits Tamra, and she brought wine "to relax." But Tamra has other plans for how they can relax. Well, I don't think she has plans but she brought out a wine opener (ha ha it's like a giant vibrator!). Anyway, the ladies sit down with a glass of wine as Tamra announces that she's decided, "stupid sh*t doesn't matter anymore." Tamra is in love with this Eddie character, but she's not ready to introduce him to her kids. Tamra realizes that sometimes divorce is hard, but they decide to believe that everything will be fine. Then they kiss but it's not a big deal, okay?
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Vicki is packing up for her annual training seminar and she's got her business khakis on! Vicki is gone a lot, so Donn gets to party with Walter, the pug. Vicki is planning to LET LOOSE in Seattle! Good luck with that, Vicki.
Meet Peggy (finally!), she's friends with Alexis and has two daughters. But whose baby is BETTER? That's the important thing. Who will potty train first? Who is ready for their pig girl bed? Who eats the finest foods? Their children are both INCREDIBLY advanced, speaking in Shakespearean sonnets and scribbling their signatures on various modeling contracts. It must be so much fun to have friends who are always trying to one-up you.
Vicki is having the best time at this conference, and is commended for being "psychotically persistent." It's a compliment. Right? The world of insurance is psychotically fun and exciting. WOO. HOO.
Peggy's going to the gun range in her backless top because that's what you do in the real O.C. It's all about survival. And having a great husband who knows how to rock a Ed Hardy shirt while he drives a Hummer. Ridiculous. But don't think she married him just for money, Peggy married her husband for love, too.
Tamra is looking for a new house to lease, now that she's downsizing. But she will not be moving into Eddie's old house he used to live in with his wife. Duh. Tamra finds a place and wants to make good money without having to take a 9 to 5 job. How does that work, exactly? Vicki will tell you.
In Seattle, Vicki is psychotically matchmaking for her daughter, in the presence of her employees. Then they went cosmic bowling, and this gross guy was getting handsy with Vicki. But they've known each other for a long time so it's fine, okay?
Vicki has a woo-hooin' time at Seafair. She's truly livin' large. Briana
likes the trip so much that she's ready to move to Seattle, and take
Danielle, who looks a lot like Missi Pyle
Tamra and Alexis are taking a yoga class together for some reason. They wrap up the outing with a cocktail to fully cleanse their bodies/temples. They re-hash the "evil eye" party, and what was or was not said. If everyone just wants to move on, why aren't we?
Alexis is more independent these days. She's starting her own dress line (ugh), and she doesn't want to be like "Bev Cleaver" like she initially thought. That's good, because Bev Cleaver isn't a thing. Alexis's husband, Jim, may not like Tamra. He doesn't hate her, he just doesn't like the things she says and does. But Jim gets to boss Alexis around because it's biblical. He's also kind of a creep.Has Tamra changed? Should Briana get away from Vicki?(image courtesy of Bravo)