They're Baaaack: 'The Real Housewives of New York' Season 4 Premiere
They're Baaaack: 'The Real Housewives of New York' Season 4 Premiere
New season, new Housewife, new drama! I'm all about it, because let's get real: The Real Housewives of New York are pretty much the best, right? First thing's first: New Housewife Cindy Barshop's babies are in weird, wine glass high chairs in the opening sequence. Luxury! And now: Ramona Singer Pinot Grigio! Grab a glass.

Jill Zarin is back in the house, and Alex is still not having it. You can't just pretend nothing happened, Jill! Alex invites all the women to wear their wedding gowns, or a white dress, and put it on for the March for Marriage Equality. And then she left because things were just getting too rowdy for her taste.

Jill and Kelly are REAL friends, and Jill is nervous about being in a plane to Australia. Ramona called Kelly "crazy" and Kelly "doesn't appreciate" it. Sometimes I like Kelly, and sometimes I just think she's a lunatic. That is a musing, not a diagnosis. Jill is still hurting over the loss of her friendship with Bethenny, but Bethenny isn't on this show anymore.

Alex and Simon are working from home, and Alex is also a model (presumably not from home). This is the kind of stuff I love, when Housewives take on glamorous careers that might not be real careers. But don't worry, Alex says it's not, "like, 'ooh hoo, I'm a model!'"

Cindy Barshop! She's "edgy and rock and roll." If she says she "collects people," though, I'm out. She owns Completely Bare, specialists in hair removal. She's making it happen, though! Cindy's brother, Howie, is also her business partner and best friend. Partners in vajazzling. Cindy is a single mom with twin babies. Those kids are so cute! She's an independent woman and so far, I like her. But it's still early, and she hasn't fought with anyone yet.

The ladies all met at an art show, which Cindy promised would be interesting. The artist has the women put paint on their feet and stomp all over some work. Jill finds something to complain about because that's just how she does things. Jill also decides to investigate the story behind Cindy's babies. Cindy doesn't seem to mind.

Oh my god, yes. Ramona is interviewing applicants for an assistant. Why does she need an assistant? Look at these interviews! Perfection. They weren't even interviews, they were more Ramona talking at people and giving them tips. She gave one of the applicants her skin care, after pretty much tearing her apart. Ouch.

LuAnn and Sonja have a crazy double date. I can't really tell who is with who, or if it matters to Sonja. Sonja has been dating this guy, Brian, and they are, I assume, having lots of sex. Sonja tells us it's complicated. The Countess has found herself a man, and it looks like they all have fun together.

I don't really know what the deal is, but Ramona loves a surprise meeting. She's surprising Jill at a wedding (the day before the March) with Alex. For fun, I assume. Jill reacts just the way Ramona might like -- with shock. Jill pretends she knew Alex would be there, and I still don't understand why it even matters.

Alex is really confrontational this season! She must be making up for her blandness in seasons past, but now she's saying things that don't really need to be addressed. She picks on every little thing. Anyway, Jill tells us she has changed and "will always be nice and kind." I'll believe it when I see it.

One thing I do agree with Jill (and her friends) on, you shouldn't wear all white to a wedding. Alex and Ramona both do it. You also don't stick your finger in the wedding cake!

I'm just so happy they're back. I'm so excited about this season!

(Image courtesy of Bravo)