The ladies are still in the Hamptons after last week's fireworks (physical and metaphorical). Sonja set up a sunbathing/lunch date for her, Aviva and Ramona. After Aviva and Sonja cougar all over the poor bartender (that Sonja actually hired, as opposed to making one of her interns do it), Sonja gets a call from Ramona. She tells her she can't make it that afternoon.
Sonja is hurt by Ramona's last-minute cancellation. She thinks that Ramona is going through something but projecting her problems onto her. She tells Aviva that she could really use Ramona's support, in the form of sunbathing, during her time of financial crisis.
Ramona seems to be doing just fine when she goes to visit a designer home in the Hamptons with LuAnn and Carole, where she tries to peel off stick-on wallpaper and chucks a dinner plate into the pool like a Frisbee. Then she tells Carole and LuAnn all about Sonja's financial problems and how she's in denial about losing her house. Ramona says it's especially tragic for Sonja because she loves her home like it's a member of her family. LuAnn is surprised to hear Ramona talking about Sonja's issues like that, and says that if it were her friend, she'd keep that information to herself.
Heather has Kristen and Carole over to her Hamptons home. Carole relays the conversation she had with Ramona earlier about Sonja. Heather doesn't think Sonja's problems are her business, but she thinks that Ramona doesn't have her back. She suspects that there's something off in their friendship.
Aviva, LuAnn, Ramona and Sonja meet for a wine tasting. Aviva tells the man at the vineyard pouring the wine that the white wine he served them was too acidic, kind of like urine. Nothing says a Vassar woman like comparing wine to human waste. Good job, Aviva.
LuAnn asks Sonja how things are going with her home. When she gives her a non-answer, LuAnn tries to ask her whatever happened with her toaster oven (we all want to know!). Sonja says that the department stores didn't want to sell it because they said her brand was bigger than just toaster ovens, but also should include utensils, napkins and placemats. No one really understands how this is a real problem, and Ramona suggests that it's just difficult to get into department stores in general. Sonja insists that that's not her problem, but she just keeps talking nonsense about her diamond and lingerie lines instead of really addressing anything.
Aviva then picks a fight with LuAnn for being too neutral in the Book Gate situation. She says she wishes LuAnn would pick a side, which really means she wishes LuAnn would pick her side. Sonja says that that's why she never married a royal, because she has too many opinions and she likes to be herself; she can't be diplomatic like LuAnn. LuAnn tells her that she has plenty of opinions, even though she doesn't go spouting them off like everybody, and that was a b*tchy thing for Sonja to say.
Sonja excuses herself from this hot mess of Type-As, claiming that there's too much negative energy. And for once, she's actually making sense. Time for a Refresh
Kristen meets with a new agent since her modeling work has been a little slow lately. She's been a full-time model since she was 16, but now she mostly does "mommy shoots." The jerk face agent (who is a white male, of course) tells her that she's too old, even though it seem like she still has some "mileage left," like she's an old station wagon. He tells her that maybe she should try smaller markets like Chicago, Milwaukee and Atlanta. That's like telling Regina George to try Sears. This guy needs to have several seats. Kristen, you need a new-new agent.
Heather brings over tequila and pizza to Carole's. It's a tequila day because Spanx stole one of Heather's Yummie Tummie undergarment pieces and put it in their collection. Heather sent them a cease and desist, they filed a lawsuit, so she counter-sued them for patent infringement. She tells Carole that she doesn't even know why they're doing this because they're such a big company and she's just a squirrel trying to get a nut.
Carole tells Heather she's ready for a refresh for her apartment. She especially wants to get rid of the piano now that she's not dating Russ the musician anymore. She tells a designer and a contractor she has over later on that she wants gold leaf ceilings, a walk-in closet and to convert her kitchen into an office because she never uses her kitchen. They look at her like she's crazy. Because she probably is a little.
Sonja is cleaning her toilet when Ramona stops by for a visit. She wants to have a serious conversation with her about her financial state. She talks to Sonja like a child, telling her that she wants her to start looking for two-bedroom apartments before she gets ejected from her house. Sonja tells her that she has nine lives and an angel on her shoulder because she only releases positive energy into the world. Ramon says she's coming from a place of sisterly concern, but Sonja says she's coming from a place of fear. She tells her not to worry about it because she has things under control. That may or may not be true, but Ramona needs to butt out either way.
Aviva and her family and her ex-husband Harry all have dinner together. I can't put my finger on why it's so awkward. Maybe because Aviva is trying to convince us and everyone at the table that it isn't awkward? I don't really know.
Sonja is meeting her 23-year-old boyfriend for dinner at a nice restaurant. She could really use the support right now and the age difference between the two doesn't really bother her. What does bother her is that after nearly an hour, he doesn't show up. Poor Sonja got stood up. And she doesn't even call Ramona, or another girlfriend for that matter, to commiserate, but an intern. Poor Sonja. Spa Day
Sonja's hosting a spa day hoping to get some of the negative energy out of the group and help them all relax. They split into two groups. Carole, LuAnn and Heather go in for a mud bath and a massage. They enjoy a relaxing time, as people should at a spa day.
Kristen gets stuck with Aviva, Ramona and Sonja, who go to use the hot tub. Except no one but Kristen wants to get in.
Sonja talks to Ramona about Ben standing her up, and Ramona tells her flat-out that Ben is too young for her. Sonja says, who cares? They're enjoying themselves together, so age doesn't really matter. Sonja has a sneaking suspicion that Ramona has something to do with the fact that she hasn't heard from Ben yet.
And what do you know, Ramona made a call to Ben's mother! Sonja is rightfully mortified. She says their relationship wasn't going to last 10 years, but at least it could have lasted another 10 months. Ramona keeps trying to defend herself, saying that she only has Sonja's best interest in mind. She says that she's old enough to be his mother and it's "incestuous." That's low, even for Ramona.
Aviva, surprisingly enough, is the voice of reason. She says that Ramona shouldn't be so judgmental, that as long as Sonja's happy, the age difference doesn't matter.
Kristen chimes in that she "thinks Ramona is jealous" and Ramona responds by throwing pinot grigio in Kristen's face! Kristen is already in the hot tub, but wow, that's uncalled for. Kristen then splashes Ramona, ruining her hair after she had it done for her big party. She yells at Kristen for instigating and butting into their conversation, when hello, it wasn't exactly private to begin with. Kristen says they were all talking and they're all friends. Ramona snaps, "You're not really my friend," and Kristen says they're not friends and that settles it. Ramona calls Kristen "a real b*tch" while trying to salvage her hair.
Aviva thinks that Ramona went too far, throwing the wine in Kristen's face, but she only says so in her confessional, not at the time where it would be appropriate to stick up for Kristen. And Sonja's mad that Ramona "took the penis" from her and "threw the pinot" on Kristen.
The Real Housewives of New York City
airs Tuesdays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)