Got four weeks? Great, let's plan your wedding! If you loved Bethenny's wedding and her process leading up to it, I'm here to help. Here are some easy tips that, from what I can tell, made Bethenny's wedding so Bethenny-licious.
Tip #1: Make sure you are already over-booked, busy, and have too much to do. Being seven months pregnant also helps. If you only have one thing, like a job, going on you're not doing enough. Write a book, release a brand of liquor, schedule a meeting with a dog psychologist--you've got to do whatever it takes, and then add three more things on top of that!
Tip #2: Hire a gay wedding planner. Those who can't do, teach.
Tip #3: Book lots of unnecessary appointments. Hair practicing appointments, book signings at Costco, again just do what it takes.
Tip #4: Get mad at your fiance for not helping out enough. Because if you're doing YOUR job, you'll be doing everything.
Tip #5: Obsess about the cake. But don't go to any tastings, that's what your gay wedding planner is for.
Tip #6: Get the marriage license. Seriously, get the marriage license. You can't get married without it.
Tip #7: The Bridal sweatsuit is a MUST! How else will people know you are a bride unless you wear all white and have "bride" in rhinestones across your back and butt? Maybe because you have performed Tip #8.
Tip #8: Alert the presses! And please invite your famous friends. If you don't have famous friends, get some.
Tip #9: The aisle should be a runway. Literally. It's your world and everyone else is just living in it, GIRL.
Tip #10: Pee in a fancy bucket. You don't have the time to take your dress off and put it back on again, you just don't. But be careful not to splash pee on the keepsake your mother-in-law gave you that you have attached to your underwear.
The rest should be a piece of cake; you know, regular wedding stuff. Finally, one tip that could make your wedding better than Bethenny's:
Don't invite this guy:
(images courtesy of Bravo)