Bethenny Frankel Does the Math
This week on Bethenny? Getting? Married? (?) Bethenny continues to be incredibly busy but still get nothing done.  And it turns out no one goes to D-List celebrity book signings at Costco. Who knew? Maybe Bethenny's constant yammering, set to "shrill," scared everyone away.  UHMYGOD LOOK AT THESE CRAB LEGS! LOOK AT THESE CRAB LEGS! Is it her pregnant glow or am I falling in love?

Shawn, aka Gay Tony Hale, has already told us he's "not a magician," but maybe he should look into it. Because he is totally going to get fired as a wedding planner. And he has good "magic" eyes.  

Why does an angry, stressed-out pregnant lady need a bachelorette party?  Because it's a requirement to get married (but who has time to worry about that damn marriage license?). Bethenny is obviously doing too much, but she finally had her bridal breakdown three weeks before the wedding. It's time to keep talking to everyone about everything.

Bethenny makes fun of Max for being uncomfortable about picking out her underwear for the bachelor party. Cookie, mirroring Bethenny's inner thoughts and turmoil once again, bites Shawn. But he's there with cotton candy and good news: Bethenny got the Four Seasons! And they're over about $10,000. But they can cut out the benches for $4,000. These numbers are Scrooge McDuck numbers to me.

The Bachelor/ette parties are happening in Atlantic City, because these events are critical to stressing Bethenny out. Nothing's more fun than being sober while your friends get drunk, right? It just hit Bethenny that she's getting married (Getting Married?). This is actually not a surprise, since she hasn't really done much planning.  Where is Nervous Shawn?! "A million percent" is not a proper fraction, but I will let it slide because you can't quantify love. Except that before it was 88-92%.

Check back tomorrow for Five Things Bethenny Frankel Didn't Need to Do from tonight's episode!

(images courtesy of Bravo)