On the Real Housewives of New Jersey
finale, it seemed like things were actually going well for a second. As well as they could go between Caroline and Danielle I suppose. And I remember times when Danielle seemed a little irrational, but not completely paranoid and batsh*t crazy. Sure, she's kind of a lunatic, but it's like there's a switch that goes from everyday paranoia to raving mad. Therefor, as a scientific study, we're going to measure Danielle's crazy level on a scale of 1 to 10 at key moments in the finale. Expect the crazymeter to go well beyond 11 on the reunion special.
Danielle receives Caroline's text message, reads it out loud in front of her kids, and dissects it.
Crazy level: 3
Danielle got immediately defensive, a little enraged, the made sure that her daughters know that she's "not in fear no more." Just regular Danielle crazy stuff.
Danielle has Danny over
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to watch her "purge" her house and discuss meeting with Caroline.
Crazy level: 4
Still regular Danielle crazy, just a regular dose of rage. And Danny is always around.
"This is what they're telling their daughters and sons to treat women like: chase them, investigate them, claw at them, rip the hair from their head when they're hiding on the side of a building to get away from you,"
Crazy level: 8
She also claimed that she was chased out of the Brownstone (I think that's called "creating a false memory"). Then she went on to say, "I don't think how crazy thinks. I've had my moments of insanity in my life. I own them, I embrace them." What??
Danielle calls her Energist to help clear her mind before the big meeting.
Crazy level: 2
We're back to Danielle at her most balanced state possible. Still totally out of whack, but she's making an effort.
Danielle brings three bodyguards/men with guns to meet Caroline.
Crazy level: Whitney Houston
Having an entourage is ludicrous, especially to meet a woman for drinks. But then again, when you've dealt with Teresa Giudice, I don't blame her.
Danielle sits down with Caroline and actually listens, then asks for permission to speak.
Crazy level: 1
This is going well! We all thought to ourselves tentatively.
Danielle refuses to drop the charges against Ashley.
Crazy level: 2
Things are getting a little prickly, but Caroline and Danielle are still listening to each other. And to be fair, Caroline didn't need to stand up for Ashley, who also created a false memory of the event (Danielle was trying to hurt Jacqueline? I don't think so).
"I have not given your family permission to assault or attack me . . . I didn't do anything to deserve what was done to me,"
Crazy level: 5
Eeeeeep! The music Bravo added only made it worse. Aaaaaaaand she's stopped listening.
"I look in the mirror a lot these days, quite frankly, and I like what I see,"
Crazy level: 7
Shortly after, Danielle refuses to take responsibility for anyone's actions, including her own.
Caroline lays down the bottom line: "you're a clown, your whole life is a joke."
Crazy level: 6
For a second, she was taken down a peg. And those were some hurtful words Caroline was spitting.
Danielle walks away from the situation, telling Caroline you can't call someone garbage.
Crazy level: SANE!
She's right! You shouldn't call someone garbage. Walking away was the right thing to do.
Danielle comes out of the argument thinking she won the whole thing, and over-uses the word "matriarch."
Crazy level: 7
Come on, Danielle, just walk away, save what little dignity you had.
"Here's a little message for Teresa: my kids wore lace and crinoline at those ages. My dogs wore leopard. Just a little message there."
Crazy level: 9
Whaaaaa??? Where in her head did that come from and why did she feel the need to say it?
According to Danielle, "it's done. That's it. It's finished." So maybe our dreams will come true and she won't return for Season 3? Teresa is crazy enough to carry a whole season on her own, I think. What did you think of the finale? Did anyone reach a 10? The reunion looks insaaaaane!
(images courtesy of Bravo)